10 Best Bob Belcher Quotes

Bob’s Burgers got off to a slow start, but it has rapidly become one of the most popular animated series on the air. Its humor and characters are much more progressive than its cousins like The Simpsons and Family Guy. With its real-life family situations, it feels like a successor to King of the Hill.

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And in that spirit, the mild-mannered dad Bob Belcher is a successor to Hank Hill. With his mundane interests and desperate need for approval from his kids, Bob feels more like a real dad than the likes of Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin. This is the future of TV dads – and real dads. So, here are the 10 Best Bob Belcher Quotes.

10 On affectionate nicknames

“Love you, cutie pie. Sorry, I’ll think of a better one than ‘cutie pie.’ You’re my angel…dust. Sorry, that’s a drug. I’m gonna go.”

In many ways, Bob is just as socially awkward as Tina. Here, he’s just trying to say something nice to Louise and maybe come up with an adorable nickname to call her. But he stumbles through a few, realizing first that “cutie pie” is too generic and then that “angel dust” is the name of a drug. One thing no one can accuse him of is not trying. He certainly does try to be a good dad and make a connection with his kids, but it’s tough. He does his best.

9 On bucket list moments

“Linda, Torpedo Jones said he liked my burger! I want that on my tombstone. Seriously, I do.”

While Bob’s Burgers isn’t necessarily a sports show and Bob doesn’t show himself to be a sports fan often, he does idolize Torpedo Jones, a baseball player who plays for the local team, the Wonder Wharf Wonderdogs. Torpedo Jones is like a hero to Bob, so when he compliments his burger, it’s one of the greatest moments of Bob’s life. The first thing he thinks is that it’s so important that he wants it etched into the stone that will commemorate his life forever.

8 On boundaries

“My crotch is itchy.” “Okay. Now, are you telling me this as my daughter or as my grill cook? Because my grill cook would never tell me that. Also, my daughter should probably not say anything like that to me.”

Loren Bouchard initially conceived Bob’s Burgers so he could do a family show that was also a workplace comedy. So, he created a show about a workplace where the parent owners employ their kids as janitors and grill cooks. This line is from the pilot episode, “Human Flesh,” back when this dynamic was still being established among the show’s characters.

7 On Hawk and Chick

“Listen, what happened to Hawk and Chick will never happen to us. This Hawk and this Chick will never not talk for thirty years.”

Bob has certain things in common with all of his kids, and from that, he’s built a unique relationship with all of them. His relationship with Louise is based on their shared love of the Hawk & Chick samurai monster movie franchise. So, when they get the chance to meet the actors behind the lead roles – an actual father and daughter – they’re ecstatic.

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But they’re disappointed that the real Hawk and Chick have become estranged. Louise fears this could happen to her and Bob, so he assures her that’ll never happen with this sweet moment.

6 On bribing Louise

“What do we do, Lin? Bribe her to get the filling?” “Bribe Louise? We don’t have that kind of money.”

Bob and Linda’s only failing as parents is that they raised kids who became so strong and confident and empowered that they can no longer control them. Louise is smart and cunning and duplicitous and, by all accounts, a genius. But because of that, she knows how to manipulate her parents. She knows how much money they have and she knows how much she can squeeze out of them. And she definitely doesn’t want to get that filling. It’s painful!

5 On dinner theater

“It’s not dinner, and it isn’t theater either. It’s like the imitation cheese of theater.”

Although his business isn’t doing the best, Bob knows that he makes good food and he has a great restaurant, so he can be quite testy and judgmental when it comes to other people’s methods of serving food – particularly dinner theater. He’s not even talking about the plastic-like cheese substance that sometimes get put on burgers at barbecues. He’s talking about “imitation cheese,” the orangey spray cheeses like Cheez Whiz that come in a can and taste like cheese while being riddled with dangerous chemicals. That’s what Bob compares dinner theater to.

4 On Thanksgiving songs

“Every year, I try and tell you guys that no one really sings Thanksgiving songs.”

A lot of holidays have songs associated with them – namely Christmas – but one that doesn’t have any songs is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is very important to Bob, as he gets all weird about the turkey and prepares for months and demands the perfect day.

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So, he’s not too thrilled that every year, on his favorite day, his family sings a bunch of songs that don’t exist. Still, it’s sweet that they go out of their way to make their dad’s favorite holiday work for them, too.

3 On being a proud father

“Well, I’m glad you kids are excited, because I am going to kill myself.”

Bob’s Burgers is a much more accurate representation of families and family situations that most of the other shows on the air. And along with that, Bob Belcher is a much more accurate representation of dads than most other characters on TV. He’s much more in line with someone like Phil Dunphy than his animated cousin Homer Simpson. His relationship with his kids feels real. He loves his kids and would do anything for them, but also, they can be a bit much sometimes, and that’s what he says something like this.

2 On being a boss second

“Listen, you’re my children and I love you, but you’re all terrible at what you do here and I feel like I should tell you. I’d fire all of you if I could.”

What separates Bob Belcher from most of the other TV dads is that he owns his own business and employs all his kids to work there. And because they’re his kids, he can’t fire them, despite their poor work. But they do an awful job of their work and the only reason Bob doesn’t fire them is because they’re his kids and he doesn’t have to pay them anything.

1 On crazy days

“Lin, this isn’t a crazy day. This is a perfectly average day at Bob’s Burgers. This kind of stuff happens all the time, and I am so glad that you came by to take it in.”

In the season 6 finale, Bob has an important interview to get to, and then the kids glue him to the toilet. So, we see him fly off the handle in the same way Chevy Chase’s Clark Griswold character does at the end of all the Vacation movies. Plus, it has a lot of meta things to say about the dynamic that makes the show work.

NEXT: 10 Animated Shows To Watch If You Like Bob’s Burgers

About The Author

Ben Sherlock
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Ben Sherlock is a writer, comedian, independent filmmaker, and Burt Reynolds enthusiast. He writes lists for Screen Rant and features and reviews for Game Rant. He’s currently in pre-production on his first feature (and has been for a while, because filmmaking is expensive). You can catch him performing standup at odd pubs around the UK that will give him stage time. Previously, he wrote for Taste of Cinema, Comic Book Resources, and BabbleTop.

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