10 Funniest Quotes From The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Gilmore Girls fans were excited to learn that creator Amy Sherman-Palladino was starting a new show, and the result is the fabulous The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. The first two seasons are available to stream on Amazon and, thankfully, a third season is in the works.

Rachel Brosnahan is the talented actress who plays Miriam Maisel (she goes by Midge), a housewife living in New York City in the late 1950s who goes through a divorce and learns that she has a knack for stand-up comedy. She is just as funny whether she’s officially performing or not, and it’s wonderful to watch her character growth as she stands up for what she believes in and deals with the people in her world, from her stuffy but sweet parents to her ex-husband, Joel. At its core, this show is a comedy, so let’s check out some of its funniest lines.

10 “Calling that thing a house is like calling the Vatican a church.”

9 “It’s downtown. If you have underwear on, you’re overdressed.”

Midge says this in the first seasons, and it’s definitely one of the funniest lines from the whole show. It’s exactly the sense of humor that Midge has both on and off the stage: she’s bold and tells it like she sees it and she doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her.

This line also serves as a reminder of how much New York City has changed since the 1950s. Back in the day, “downtown” was a vastly different place, and more well-heeled people like Midge’s family would stick to the Upper West Side and never dream of traveling down there. It seemed like a whole other universe.

8 “All that applause for me? What am I, putting out after? One standing ovation, everyone goes home pregnant.”

It would be awesome if every pilot was a great one, but of course that’s just not the case. Fortunately, the pilot of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is really, really good.

Almost every line of dialogue in the pilot is hilarious and witty, but this line definitely stands out. Midge is just starting to hone her comedic tone and voice, and it’s really cool to watch this happen from the very beginning. This particular line sets the stage for what’s to come: Midge is going to speak frankly and from the heart, and she doesn’t mind if some people think that a woman doesn’t have any place as a stand-up comic.

7 “Sometimes I tune people out, but mostly because they rarely have anything useful or interesting to say.”

Tony Shalhoub is beloved for his work on the TV shows Wings and Monk, along with his many movie roles. He brings so much talent to the role of Midge’s father, Abe Weissman, that this is one of his best roles to date.

Abe is no-nonsense, so honest that it can be brutal sometimes, and above all, a very sensitive and caring man. He is the strong but silent type, the kind of guy who would prefer to sit in the corner and read and be left alone (thank you very much). Every once in a while, though, Abe comes out with a hilarious statement like the one quoted here, and fans can’t get enough.

6 “It’s the bras. And the girdles and the corsets, all designed to cut off the circulation to your brain…”

This is another funny line from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Midge says this in the season one episode “Ya Shivu v Bolshom Dome Na Kholme.” It also serves as a reminder that behind every joke is a real statement about how Midge feels about the state of her life. Sure, she can get up on stage and smile and say that women wear fancy clothes and makeup, but what she’s really saying is that marriage can be tough and full of lies. 

It would be easy to assume that Midge is simply a fun, funny character since she’s always got one-liners up her sleeve. But she’s a real person with real feelings, and that is very clear here.

5 “Well, she did something in the bathroom that took a very long time. And she did NOT come out looking happy.”

Rose and Abe Weissman are a particularly sweet couple because while it’s clear that they have been together a long time and have a great amount of respect for one another, they definitely let each other do their own thing. Case in point: when Rose literally moves to Paris in the second season and Abe isn’t even sure what’s going on.

This quote from Abe is so funny because, before he says it, he explains to Midge that her mother was concerned about her. He said, “your mother vomited.” When she said “I did not vomit” (because of course Rose would never admit to that), Abe says this in response. It’s just pure, classic Abe: he’s so stern but so loveable.

4 “Her son eats with his mouth open. It needs to stop.”

When Abe tells his wife this about Midge’s son, Ethan, Rose replies, “He’s three.” Abe says, “When I was three, I could resole a shoe.”

Children are sometimes the funniest characters on sitcoms or even dramas, because they have quippy one-liners. On The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Midge’s son is cute but doesn’t talk much, and the comedy comes from what Abe observes about him. This is such a funny exchange between Rose and Abe since it proves that Abe truly suffers no fools, even having something to say about adorable children.

3 “Me, personally, I was never great at gift-giving. Maybe it’s because I never got to celebrate Christmas.”

Were truer words ever spoken about the winter holidays? Definitely not. At least, funnier words about the winter holidays were never spoken, and leave it to Midge to make such a smart statement like this one. She continues, “For Christmas, a gentile would get a bike as a reminder that their parents love them. For Hanukkah, we would get socks as a reminder that we were persecuted.”

There are many funny lines on this show about religion and being Jewish since that is Midge’s family background. This is one of the best ones for sure.

2 “I get it now, why men rule the world: no high heels.”

This is one of the funniest lines from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and Midge says it in the eighth episode of the first season. It really sums up her brand of comedy: she talks about the differences between men and women, what it’s like to be a housewife, what it’s like to go through a divorce, and anything else that comes to her mind.

Of course, anyone who watches the show knows that this isn’t really why men rule the world (and even though it’s 2019 and not 1958, that statement still unfortunately rings true). But sometimes all you can do is laugh or make jokes, which is exactly why Midge’s line is so great.

1 “Look, Joel, up here in the mountains, I do different kinds of things…”

Many fans would probably agree that the greatest episode of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is the season two outing “We’re Going To The Catskills!” That’s because Midge and her family go to the Catskills for the summer… and Abe wears a romper.

It would be funny enough if he simply wore the romper around and no-one said anything. It gets better, though, because Abe explains to Joel ahead of time that he’s going to wear a romper, and the fact that he calls a romper “special clothing” and won’t come right out and say what it is? That’s just too good.

About The Author

Aya Tsintziras
(1742 Articles Published)

Aya Tsintziras is a freelance writer who writes about pop culture and TV. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. She loves coffee, reading, working out, and watching TV. She lives in Toronto with her husband.

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