10 Funniest Quotes From The Simpsons Movie

After nearly twenty years since the first episode aired, The Simpsons released its first (and so far only) feature-length film. The Simpsons Movie sees the catastrophic consequences of Springfield after Homer fails to heed environmental warnings out of laziness and selfishness.

True to the episodes that preceded and proceeded it, The Simpsons Movie is full of laugh-out-loud moments and hilarious quotes that have become as memorable as some of the lines that have come out of the best episodes of the show. From breakout moments of classic characters to great new character introductions, here are the funniest lines from the movie starring everyone’s favorite Springfield family.

Homer Fools The EPA

“There’s Something Strange About That ‘Sop’ Sign.”

Homer has never been the brightest character in The Simpsons, yet other characters prove to be just as stupid, if not more so. In an attempt to reenter the domed Springfield to rescue his family, Homer plants an extremely poorly crafted ‘Stop’ sign to hold off the EPA officers.

It’s so evidently fake and ‘Stop’ is spelled incorrectly yet miraculously it works due to the incompetence of the EPA officers that have Marge and the kids imprisoned. The EPA comments on how strange the “Sop sign” is, and the moment is even more ludicrously funny when the other officer replies irritably “Look, we can’t keep stopping for every ‘sop’, ‘yeld’ or ‘one vay’ sign!”

Agnes Skinner The Censor

“Don’t Look Where I’m Pointing!”

One of the most memorable and funniest scenes in The Simpsons Movie is when Bart skateboards through Springfield to Krusty Burger completely naked. What makes the scene so brilliant is how Bart’s privates are censored in time with everything going on around him (except one moment with a gap in the bush.)

One of the best yet funniest and most blatant uses of this is when fan-favorite Agnes Skinner cries out “Don’t look where I’m pointing!”, with her pointed finger perfectly censoring Bart as he skates by. It’s hilarious, brilliantly timed, and done in classic Simpsons fashion.

The Flanders Say Grace In Krusty Burger

“Bountiful P****. Amen.”

Bart’s nude skateboard dare ends in disaster as his skateboard catches the curb and sends Bart flying into the window of the Krusty Burger, where Ned Flanders and his sons are having a meal.

Flanders saying grace is interrupted when Bart splats into the window. “Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful – P****!” This is already rather funny but it is made even better when Rodd and Todd, oblivious to what’s happened, repeat their father in perfect angelic unison “Bountiful p****” with Todd adding an “Amen.” It’s the perfect end to one of the movie’s funniest moments.

Russ Cargill Goes Mad With Power

“You Ever Try Going Mad Without Power? It’s Boring! No One Listens To You!”

Interestingly, the villain of The Simpsons Movie is an original character. Russ Cargill, voiced by regular Simpsons guest star Albert Brooks, is the head of the EPA and the evil mastermind behind putting Springfield under a glass dome for the toxicity of the lake, followed by eventually trying to destroy it.

Arguably, Cargill’s most memorable scene is when a worried EPA officer tells him he’s gone mad with power. Instead of lashing out, Cargill heartily agrees with him, saying “you ever go mad without power? It’s boring. No one listens to you!” It’s a funny twist on a well-known villain trope as well as making a sadly true point.

President Schwarzenegger

“I Was Elected To Lead. Not To Read.”

One unexpected surprise from The Simpsons Movie was making Arnold Schwarzenegger the President of the United States. Sounding exactly like Rainier Wolfcastle, the Simpsons character that is essentially a parody of him, Schwarzenegger is an enjoyable character to watch.

When Cargill first approaches Schwarzenegger about Springfield’s environmental problem, the President selects Option 3 without even looking at it, claiming “I was elected to lead, not to read.” Unfortunately, he chooses too late to actually try to read Cargill’s next phases of the plan but by this point, Cargill is hellbent on destroying Springfield and easily manipulates Schwarzenegger into picking Plan 4, which is to blow up Springfield.

Mr. Burns Ponders Giving Out Electricity

“Lives… Lost. Go On.”

Considering the environmental themes of the story and his status as a villain, Mr. Burns was surprisingly given little screentime in The Simpsons Movie. But his one key scene in the movie is definitely a funny one and highlights the classic evil millionaire that fans know and love.

Dr. Hibbert, Chief Wiggum, and Apu have come to Burns to plead to give electricity to the town. Hibbert starts with the reason that the hospital needs electricity as lives will be lost. This should be enough to convince anyone but Mr. Burns is so hilariously cold-hearted that he only writes this down and demands more reasons.

Chief Wiggum’s Stupidity

“I Thought That Too Until He Said ‘Yard Trimmings.’ You Gotta Learn To Listen, Lou.”

Chief Wiggum is renowned for his incompetence as the chief of police and this is no different in the movie. In fact, one of Wiggum’s most glaringly foolish and funny moments of stupidity is in The Simpsons Movie.

Fat Tony and his mob are about to dump what is clearly a body bag in the lake until Chief Wiggum stops him. Instead, Fat Tony shrugs it off and says he’ll put his “yard trimmings” in a car compactor. Officer Lou expresses his concerns about it being a corpse but Chief Wiggum responds with the above quote. It’s a mystery how Wiggum is even a police officer at all.

Cletus Tries To Overcome The New Wall

“I Can’t. I Simply Can’t.”

To prevent further dumping in Springfield’s lake, a wall is built around it. Once the lake is cleared and the wall is complete, Mayor Quimby brings Cletus forth to show inspectors how the wall is completely “idiot-proof.”

He asks the hillbilly to dump something in the lake. Dead possum in hand, Cletus walks into the wall a couple of times before sadly giving up and stating “I can’t. I simply can’t.” This really shows just how stupid Cletus is and how lazy Mayor Quimby is in making sure that his town is safe and secure.

Martin Finally Stands Up For Himself

“I’ve Been Taking Your Crap All My Life! This Feels Good! No Wonder You Do It.”

Martin Prince is a well-known nerd and goody-two-shoes in Bart’s class, and thus, he’s a frequent target of school bullies. However, the tables are surprisingly turned in what was believed to be Springfield’s final moments alive.

With no fear, Martin strolls up to the school bullies and angrily declares “I’ve been taking your crap all my life!” before picking up a piece of wood and viciously beating them up with it. It’s a breakout moment for the nerd in The Simpsons franchise overall and as a result, is one of Martin Princes’s best quotes.

A New Simpsons Icon

“Spider Pig, Spider Pig, Does Whatever A Spider Pig Does. Can He Spin From A Web? No, He Can’t, He’s A Pig. Look Out, Here’s Comes The Spider Pig.”

One of the movie’s most iconic features is the pig Homer adopts to save it from slaughter. Although the pig is the catalyst of the disasters that unfold in the movie, its most memorable and beloved moment is becoming “Spider Pig.”

While Marge is talking to Lisa, she suddenly sees muddy pig hoofprints on the ceiling. The reason for this is quickly revealed with Homer walking the pig on the ceiling, singing the now legendary theme to the tune of Spider-Man’s theme. It’s one of the greatest moments to come from the movie and is now a permanent fixture in the Simpsons franchise.

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