10 New Years Resolutions Inspired By The Simpsons

Another year, another chance to work on those goals and aspirations. While some people believe New Year’s resolutions are doomed to fail from the start, taking some queues from one of the most beloved cartoon families, the Simpsons, may keep you motivated through your transition period.

Then again, maybe this crew of eccentric misfits isn’t the best role model. Sometimes, though, learning from others’ mistakes is the best way. Whatever your stance, there are 30 years worth of The Simpsons episodes to draw knowledge and encouragement from. As Homer says, “Trying is the first step towards failure.” In the spirit of a new year and a new you, here are 10 resolutions inspired by The Simpsons.

10 Cut Back On Sweets

“Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?” Who doesn’t love a donut? Homer Simpson’s sole motivation in life seems to be food – and beer. He stays pretty filled in around the waist, and he even has to have heart surgery due to his poor eating habits.

While he does try the gym a few times, Homer’s obsession with food just won’t cease. When he writes his own “Bucket List,” the list just includes all of the foods he wants to consume in bucket fulls. There’s a lot to learn from Homer. A lot. For starters: instead of making one giant donut out of a dozen, try starting the New Year by only enjoying the occasional sweet.

9 Be More In Touch With Yourself

A diamond in the rough, Lisa Simpson is the smart, creative, and kind daughter of any parent’s dreams. She’s in tune with herself and the world around her, and she never hesitates to express herself. Lisa works hard to cultivate a genuine and sophisticated identity, and everyone stands to gain a thing or two by following in this precocious girl’s footsteps.

Lisa gets that life should be balanced. When her brother complains about Principal Skinner, Lisa philosophizes, telling him, “I think you need Skinner, Bart. Everybody needs a nemesis. Sherlock Holmes had his Dr. Moriarty. Mountain Dew has its Mello Yello. Even Maggie has that baby with the one eyebrow.”

8 Try A New Look

Why not start off the new year by donning some different duds? While the Simpsons carry the same iconic looks throughout most of the series, they sometimes change it up. Variety, after all, is the spice of life.

Who can forget the time Homer goes country? Or Mr. Burns’s undercover look as Jimbo? Or Bart’s stint in the mafia, which led to him wearing the snazzy suit pictured above while singing “It’s Witchcraft”? While Bart ultimately learns that “crime doesn’t pay,” he’s invigorated by the make-over.

7 Be Kind To Others

Bart Simpson’s favorite past-time, aside from torturing Principal Skinner and skateboarding, is making prank calls. Moe’s Tavern bears the brunt of this jokester’s tomfoolery. The calls usually involve asking for someone whose name is an obscene quip. It’s only after Moe screams the name across the bar that he usually realizes what’s going on.

A classic example: “Is Oliver there?” “Who?” “Oliver Clothesoff.” Bart, though, surprises Moe once by turning his crank call into a compliment. What a kind gesture, Bart.

6 Love Yourself No Matter What

Bart’s nerdy best friend Milhouse Van Houten is a loveable geek. While he sometimes struggles with his self-confidence, he ultimately eschews what others say or think about him.

When Mr. Burns is looking for an heir and holds auditions, Milhouse decides to try his luck. Mr. Burns, upon seeing Milhouse, says, “I specifically said no geeks!” Milhouse, a bit defeated, responds with, “But my mom says I’m cool.” No hate will ruin this kid’s day.

5 Achieve New Levels Of Success At Work

Principal Seymour Skinner is a bit uptight, but he does his best to keep Springfield Elementary School a functional, well-oiled machine. Bart Simpson seems to be the bain of his existence, but he often aspires toward new levels of control and perfection at his school.

Principal Skinner has some demons in his closet, and he’s much more weak-willed than he seems, but take some queues from this suited professional next year. Always dream big, and if all else fails, blame others. When Skinner questions whether he’s the problem, he quickly realizes, “No. It’s the children who are wrong.”

4 Enjoy A Dish You’ve Never Tried Before

Is there a food you’ve always wanted to try but have been too scared to? Is there a restaurant you’ve never found time to make it to? Make it happen in the new year.

Even if the food isn’t for you, you’ll have a good story to tell. When the Simpsons eat Indian food made by Apu, they aren’t quite prepared for its intense flavors. Little Lisa, panting and with a mouth on fire, has a transcendent experience. At least she tried something new!

3 Don’t Give Up On Finding Love

Moe’s Tavern regular and resident loser, Barney Gumble let his life go down the drain after drinking his first beer at 16. Usually intoxicated beyond belief, Barney is a middle-aged barfly who keeps trying to find love and belonging.

He even goes on a date with Marge’s cold and sarcastic sister Selma, a chain-smoker who eats tongue sandwiches. It doesn’t work out, but Barney does a good job of keeping a positive attitude. Maybe it’s the booze, though. The point is: if Barney can land a date, so can you.

2 Embrace Your Age

Homer’s father, Abraham Simpson II, is a near-deaf, senile old man who rarely knows what year it is. While his son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren find him difficult to be around, Grampa Simpson doesn’t seem phased.

Even though Homer and Marge put him in a home, Abe still lets loose and lives his life to the fullest. Whether it’s writing letters of complaint or sticking with the metric system or telling stories about the past, Abe doesn’t let his age slow him down.

1 Focus On Your Own Independence

Perhaps the most famous codependent relationship of all time exists between Mr. Burns and his assistant Smithers. Mr. Burns, the nefarious owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant who is always angling to make more money or gain more power, seems to be unable to make any decision without Smithers at his side.

In general, people should do the exact opposite of anything Mr. Burns does on The Simpsons. When he attempts self-reliance in an episode, it, as expected, fails miserably.

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