10 Things About The Dark Lord That Make No Sense In Sabrina

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is one of the best pieces of media to emerge from Netflix’s many new productions. Based on the comic book with the same name,  it features a much more nefarious version of the happy-go-lucky teen witch and her family, placing her not just among other fresh-faced teens but within a magical school filled with cannibalism, sadism and sacrifice to the Dark Lord.

The Dark Lord, also known as Satan or Lucifer, is supposed to be the powerful devil himself, capable of all things evil. He’s supposed to be such a great power and resisting him results in grave consequences, but he’s not nearly as powerful as he seems.

10 He Doesn’t Appear As Lucifer For His Mistress

When the devil is trying to be intimidating, we get why he might want to arrive in his beast form, complete with horns and hooves, but what about visits where he’s chatting and plotting? You could argue that Mistress Satan loves it when her man’s in goat form, but we can see that she digs handsome men, like her boyfriend, Adam.

9 He’s Not Recognized

Maybe he didn’t want to be recognized, concealing his true nature, but he’s such a narcissist we highly doubt he didn’t want his adoring fans to worship him in person. We have this really goofy idea of him shouting, “Boo!” behind Sabrina before giggling hysterically.

8 He’s Sabrina’s Father

She indeed gave birth to Lucifer’s prophet, as he dubbed her in conversation with Madam Satan herself, and that’s the reason why Sabrina had visions of a baby with goat features. This makes zero sense; why could no one sense his presence on Sabrina, least of all Lilith? Why wait until she was 16 when he could have raised her himself as his and Lilith’s child?

7 He Wants To Marry Sabrina

He’s been present during so many moments before in her life as a foreboding figure, but if he wanted her to rule by his side, he should have not given Nick Scratch the orders to support her but possessed the boy himself to win her heart.

6 He Demands She Sign His Book

And why does he even need her signature if he made her in the first place? It would seem that with any magic he’d used to create Sabrina, she should already either reflect his own wishes or be beneath his command.

5 He Put His Concubine In Charge Of Grooming Her

This plan seems doomed to fail from the start, and Madam Satan certainly waffles between assisting in the Dark Lord’s plan and thwarting it once she knows that he wants Sabrina and not her, his loyal servant for so long, at his side long before she makes the choice in the end to side with Sabrina. It could have completely thwarted his plan.

4 He Promised Lilith She’d Sit On The Throne

It’s been thousands of years since he made his promise and Lilith still thinks she’ll one day be his queen? It’s great that some comes to her senses in the end but to continue to believe this liar after all this time is not only ridiculous, but it’s an insult to the Lilith of legend who was too much for Adam to handle. She totally deserves better. Why does she stick with him?

3 He Randomly Torments Miners

Who knows, maybe he does this for kicks? But it makes much more sense for him to appear as his sexy beast incarnation, tempting mortals to condemn their souls rather than play boogeyman in the mines.

2 He Didn’t Make Someone Else His Queen

Why not make one of them his queen? And if he had to make a supernatural baby for the ultimate power, why not introduce any warlock or witch with a willing mortal partner who could get the job done and not have the complicated matter of Sabrina’s mother baptising her and the child growing to be on the side of good?

1 He’s Not All-Powerful

We could argue that the devil loves to see people agonize and suffer as they attempt to please him, or that he is even simply too lazy to do his own work, but it really does seem as if everything would be much easier if he, you know, just forced Sabrina to do what he wants.

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