Archer: Friendships That Should Have Happened (But Didn’t)

FX’s Archer is doing just as incredible as ever in terms of plot uniqueness as well as character development over a decade into its run. Although Sterling Archer is, in many ways, the protagonist, the series is only held together by the combination of all the other main characters, from the domineering Malory to the wacky Cheryl.

Over the past several seasons, characters have developed, and dissolved, friendships with each other, many of whom don’t seem probable in the first place. However, the show makes them work. What it doesn’t do, however, is pair up a lot of people who could have established a proper friendship (perhaps even toeing the borders of romance).

10 Archer & Ron Cadillac

Although Archer’s terrible behavior cannot be excused so easily, it is important to note that his megalomania, narcissism, as well as his innumerable insecurities, all derive from his empty childhood. His mother was never around, allowing Woodhouse to pick up her slack, which consequently results in Archer showing his feelings by acting out in bizarre ways.

One character who could have taken the steps to help him is Ron Cadillac, the man who ends up marrying Malory. The older gentleman is sweet, kind, but most of all, patient — the most crucial feature someone needs to tolerate Archer for more than three seconds.

9 Malory & Krieger

Malory and Krieger’s relationship is hardly fleshed out in the narrative, only coming across as an overbearing boss tormenting her seemingly meek & eccentric scientist. However, if they get past their official designations and actually look at each other, they are likely to find a shocking number of similarities.

Both Krieger and Malory are perverse, scheming, and will stop at nothing to get what they want. Their destinations might be world apart, but the methods they use to get there are more or less identical. If nothing else, it would be fun to watch them become friends.

8 Pam & Lana

Lana and Pam have actually communicated quite a bit in the story, but nothing in their interactions suggests anything more than a vaguely interpersonal office relationship. Well, there’s the time they have sex because Lana is sympathetic towards Pam’s alleged lack of sexual life, but again, this proves nothing.

Still, it’s certainly possible for them to delve beyond the superficial and see just how well they’d get along if only they stopped judging the other person for their idiosyncrasies.

7 Cyril & Woodhouse

One of the easiest ways for anyone to create a lifelong friendship with someone else is to find something that both partners absolutely adore. In the case of Cyril and Woodhouse, it’s not adore as much as abhor — the object being Archer, of course.

These two characters, while problematic in their own ways, have been subjected to constant abuse and mockery from Sterling, often without warning and always without an apology at the end. Cyril and Woodhouse could spend many an evening grousing and grumbling about the man who makes their lives a living hell.

6 Cheryl & Ray

Cheryl is a being unique unto herself — there is nobody like her, and that can be a good thing. Her general aura of oddball-ness prevents her from actually befriending someone for real, especially given her lack of care for seemingly anyone else.

Cheryl does pretend to be Ray’s wife in one episode, which goes about as well as expected, but the pair have not displayed any other form of connection to date. It would make a ton of sense for Cheryl and Ray to turn into best buddies, least of all for how well (barely) they balance each other out.

5 Malory & Pam

As with Lana, Pam indulges in a sexual romp with Malory, except this time it’s part of an unwilling threesome (on the older woman’s part). Aside from this event, and the occasional cross-office snippets, they rarely talk, let alone turn their lack of interest into a blossoming friendship.

What Malory doesn’t realize, however, is that she needs someone like Pam by her side — the latter is tough as nails, exactly like her boss, not to mention having supported herself throughout her life with no help from her family or anyone else.

4 Krieger & Barry

Barry, after his many misfortunes at Archer’s hand, develops cracks in his personality. Losing Katya is terrible enough, but he strongly believes that growing up motherless is the reason behind his bitter outlook on the world.

Krieger also grows up motherless, and fatherless, for that matter, given that he’s raised by a defector from Nazi Germany. The scientist may be psychotic, but he would surely understand Barry’s pain.

3 Ray & Archer

Ray’s initial demeanor towards Archer is neutral to mild concern, which radically shifts later on. Luckily for him, he is gradually turning into a Cyborg, thanks to Krieger. What’s interesting, though, is the sheer intensity of emotion Ray displays for Archer.

This, combined with the fact that Sterling emits powerful non-heterosexual vibes (instances of which have been repeated several times in the show), theorizes the possibility of a romance erupting between them. If only Archer could let go of his uneasiness with expressing and/or receiving genuine affection.

2 Lana & Katya

Lana does exhibit signs of jealousy when Archer brings Katya home, even more so after realizing that he plans to marry her — foregoing his usual habit of hooking up with anything that moves. Archer (indirectly) claims that she is everything that Lana isn’t, which is exactly what makes the case for their friendship.

Also, Katya’s later role as the head of the KGB is all the more reason why she would be pals with Lana. In fact, the latter is evidently set to take over ISIS when Malory retires, regardless of Archer’s whining; having an in with the KGB is going to have a net positive effect for both organizations.

1 Barry & Cyril

It’s sad to say that a large fraction of Cyril’s life revolves around Archer, and not in a good way. It’s honestly a great thing for him that Brett Bunsen exists because otherwise, Cyril would take the complete brunt of Archer’s “playful” brutality.

Likewise, Barry cannot claim to have a proper nemesis relationship with Sterling, because he almost always loses miserably. As such, pairing these two “losers” is a great way to help them come to terms with their respective animosities.

About The Author

Ajay Aravind
(429 Articles Published)

In real life, Ajay disguises himself as an academic, mainly writing textbooks for children — who all hate him for making their lives more miserable. He also writes about TV and film, strewing his opinions across the internet to see if people care (they don’t). You can find him @stain_dprinc_ss on Twitter.

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