Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 10 Reasons Why Giles and Joyce Aren’t Real Friends

Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a truly iconic show. Buffy was a complex heroine who had many positive characteristics and flaws. She also frequently felt divided. On one hand, she was the slayer, meant to protect and serve. In this role, Buffy would sacrifice herself time and time again, even her life for the cause. On the other hand, Buffy was a teenage-girl and wanted a life of normalcy.

In a sense, Giles and Joyce represent those two lives. While both serve as parent-figures for Buffy. Giles is her watcher; she is the slayer to him, and he respects her as such. Joyce is her mother, who also wanted Buffy to have a life of normalcy. In the end, Giles and Joyce respect each other, but there are many reasons why they aren’t truly friends.

10 Giles Makes Fun of Joyce

Joyce acquires a Nigerian mask in Season 3. She doesn’t realize that the mask has a power to bring the dead back to life. Giles discovers the truth and jokes to himself about how dumb Joyce is as a stupid American, “Do you like my mask? Isn’t it pretty? It raises the dead.”

True, that Joyce doesn’t quite understand the supernatural world and Giles is frustrated here, but still he doesn’t give her much of a break.

9 They Never Dealt With Their Hook-Up

In Season 3, eating the band candy (which all of the students have to sell, even if they aren’t in band) causes adults to turn into their teenage-selves. Due to this, viewers get a glimpse of the risky riper, who Giles once was, and the more relaxed Joyce. Both characters are drawn to each other. They listen to music, steal things, and connect. That connection leads to a hook-up.

This interaction is never dealt with by adult Giles and Joyce. No doubt, it could be hard to move onto a friendship if there is this tension still in the background.

8 Giles Keeps Things From Joyce

Until Buffy told Joyce that she was the slayer, Giles also kept this from Joyce. In addition, details of the dangers that Buffy faces is also kept from Joyce. It makes sense that Joyce may not need to be completely in the know since she would be afraid for Buffy or try to protect her. However, by keeping such important details from Joyce, it would make it hard to have a friendship. Joyce would feel that she couldn’t trust Giles completely.

7 Buffy Tries to Keep the Two Sides of Her Life Separate

Buffy does try to keep the two sides of her life separate, although that doesn’t always work. Giles represents her slayer life, and Joyce represents her normal-teenage life. Additionally, she wants to protect Joyce from the dangers she commonly faces. Buffy trusts that Giles can take care of himself in a difficult situation, but Joyce doesn’t have the same knowledge or training that would save her.

Since Buffy has kept Giles and Joyce somewhat separate, a friendship couldn’t really be formed. The two didn’t get the chance to get to know each other.

6 They Don’t Hang Out

Perhaps due to Buffy trying to keep the two sides separate or due to how little the two have in common, Giles and Joyce don’t hang out. They have little screen time together unless they have to talk about Buffy or are at an event for Buffy. Even then, the two don’t often talk to each other.

It’s only in the episode of the enchanted band candy that fans see them spend a lot of time together. The two don’t discuss much or talk as friends would. Giles is much closer to Willow and Xander than he is to Joyce.

5 They Don’t Understand Each Other

They don’t know each other’s backgrounds nor do they seem to have a real interest in learning about each other. Since they have muted understandings of each other’s motivations, they don’t really understand each other. The only commonality they have is their parental love for Buffy. On that, they can come to terms of agreement and respect, but that’s really it for Giles and Joyce.

Added to this, they don’t spend time together, so they have little opportunity to understand one another.

4 Giles Doesn’t Seem To Mourn Joyce

In the well-written but hard-to-watch episode, The Body, Joyce dies. Giles helps Buffy as much as he can and feels for her, but it’s not the same intense reaction that the others have who truly seem to mourn her. Xander is angry; Willow is worrying about little details; Anya is uncertain about how to act; and Buffy and Dawn are immediately in shock and grief. Giles is calm, takes care of details, but doesn’t seem to have any of the strong emotional reactions as the others did.

3 Their Only Connection Is Buffy

These two wouldn’t be around each other if it weren’t for Buffy. They seem to have not much in common except their care and love for Buffy. If it weren’t for Buffy, neither would have met or would have sought each other out. Their developed relationship of mutual respect wouldn’t have come to be.

Initially, Willow and Xander also developed a connection to Giles via Buffy. However, different than Joyce, their connection grew into a friendship beyond just having Buffy in common.

2 They See Protecting Buffy Differently

Joyce wants to leave Sunnydale to protect Buffy, switch schools, and get Buffy to step-down from being a slayer. Joyce sees Buffy as her daughter, a teenager who has been put in a role meant for adults. She wants to protect Buffy by removing her from potential threats, keeping her safe and cushioned.

Giles also wants to protect Buffy. While he does wish that he could fight her fights for her, he does recognize and respect her slayer powers and service. The way that he protects Buffy is by getting her to build on her powers, to practice her skills, and to provide information that will help her deal with new threats. This opposition between how Joyce and Giles want to protect Buffy makes it difficult for them to find common ground and be friends.

1 Joyce Resents Giles

While Joyce improves in how she relates to Buffy as a slayer and Giles as a watcher, initially she resent him. Giles represents a life of challenge and danger that Buffy will always have to deal with while she’s alive. Giles also hid many things from Joyce, making her resent him. It’s understandable, and thankfully, they do grow to respect each other. However, this resentment does prevent them from ever truly being friends.

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