Curb Your Enthusiasm: Larry’s 10 Funniest Arguments With Susie

The entire cast of Curb Your Enthusiasm shares fantastic chemistry with one another owing to their real-life friendships, but the dynamic that stands out the most prominently is Larry David’s love-hate relationship with his manager’s wife, Susie Greene. The real David and Susie Essman are close friends (predating Curb), so they can comfortably take a no-holds-barred approach to the on-screen animosity between their characters.

The results of this process have been some of the most hysterical disagreements in TV history. Larry and Susie begin every scene together as best friends and end every scene as worst enemies. What are the highlights of this legendary rivalry?

10 Sammi’s Singing

As a gift to Ted and Mary, Jeff and Susie get their daughter Sammi to sing “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” at the party. Larry thinks this is a bad gift and, on top of that, that Sammi is a bad singer, so he cuts her off in the middle of the song, much to Susie’s chagrin.

Later in the episode, Larry stays at Jeff and Susie’s house and wakes up to Sammi singing. He yells out, “Shut the f*ck up!” Seconds later, Susie bursts in, yanks Larry out of bed, and kicks him out of the house.

9 Who Owes Condolences For Funkhouser’s Mother?

When Marty Funkhouser’s mother is hit in her mobility scooter and killed, Larry and Susie both expect each other to offer condolences for her death.

Larry’s known the Big Funk longer, but Susie’s closer to him. Susie argues, “However long you’ve known him is irrelevant in this equation.”

8 The Tooth Fairy

Larry is astounded to discover that, at 11 years old, Sammi still believes in the tooth fairy. Wearing his squeaky new orthotics, he traipses around the house while Susie is slipping some money under Sammi’s pillow and she wakes up and realizes the tooth fairy isn’t real.

Susie comes out into the hallway to yell at Larry for shattering the illusion of magic for a bright-eyed little girl, but Larry argues that it’s about time she found out the tooth fairy isn’t real.

7 Banned From The House

When it’s revealed that Jeff masturbated onto a bedsheet in Larry and Cheryl’s house during Passover, Cheryl makes the executive decision to ban him from their house.

So, Larry heads over to Jeff and Susie’s house to break the news. Susie retaliates by banning Larry from her own house and kicks him out there and then.

6 The Ugly Section

In the season 10 episode “The Ugly Section,” Larry realizes that a restaurant is separating the ugly diners from the beautiful ones. When he goes in with Jeff and Susie, they get seated in “the ugly section,” and much to Larry’s horror, when he’s seated in the ugly section with his suicidal friend’s widow, Ted Danson and Susie are seated in “the beautiful section.”

Larry marches over to tell Susie that she belongs in the ugly section and she’s just riding Danson’s coattails to make it into the beautiful section. Susie claims that she belongs in the beautiful section and was dragged into the ugly section by Larry and Jeff.

5 Burial Plot

After a disagreement with Ted Danson, Larry changes his mind about the group’s burial plot and doesn’t want to be buried next to Danson anymore, so he has to broach the subject with Susie when they go to a Paul McCartney concert.

Larry pretends to like Susie’s outfit to butter her up before asking to shuffle around their burial plots so he can avoid Ted Danson. As soon as she catches on, she’s furious.

4 Giving Oscar Away

In season 3’s “The Corpse-Sniffing Dog,” Jeff can’t stay at home because he’s allergic to the dog, Oscar. He asks Sammi to choose between her dad and her dog and she chooses the dog, so Larry goes over to speak to her. When he accidentally gives her a glass of wine, she drunkenly allows him to take the dog.

After coming home to find her daughter drunk and her dog gone, Susie is enraged and heads over to Larry’s house to yell at him and get the dog back.

3 “F*** You And F*** Your Tea!”

At Ben Stiller’s birthday party, Susie tells Larry about her new business: bedazzled football sweaters. She takes him out to her car to show him a couple of prototypes and he tells her they’re not his “cup of tea.”

Instantly on the defensive, Susie says, “You know what, f*ck you and f*ck your tea!” He ends up having to buy a sweater as a gift to make up for it.

2 House Tour

When Larry comes over to Jeff and Susie’s new place to pick up a script, Susie offers to give him a “house tour.” He turns down the tour, saying, “You know, it’s bedrooms, bathrooms…I get it.”

Susie is immediately hostile. She yells out, “Get the f*ck out of my house, okay? Get the f*ck out right now!” He tries to accept the house tour, but she says it’s too late: “I’m turned off. Leave.”

1 Loretta Jumps In To Defend Larry

When Larry invites Loretta to dance at Sammi’s bat mitzvah, he imagines their life together. We see a montage of scenarios like Larry and Loretta’s family going to the movie theater and snapping a picture for their Christmas card.

In one scenario, Susie is yelling at Larry and Loretta jumps in to defend him. After Larry met his match in Susie, Susie met her match in Loretta, who kicks her out of the house and slams the door in her face.

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Ben Sherlock
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Ben Sherlock is a writer, comedian, independent filmmaker, and Burt Reynolds enthusiast. He writes lists for Screen Rant and features and reviews for Game Rant. He’s currently in pre-production on his first feature (and has been for a while, because filmmaking is expensive). You can catch him performing standup at odd pubs around the UK that will give him stage time. Previously, he wrote for Taste of Cinema, Comic Book Resources, and BabbleTop.

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