Derry Girls: 10 Funniest Quotes From Sister Michael

Though Derry Girls was born on Channel 4 in the UK, Netflix has brought it to the rest of the world. The sitcom about a group of teenagers trying to find their way in a confusing world is set during the political conflicts of Northern Ireland in the 1990s.

The cynical and deadpan Sister Michael is the principal at Our Lady Immaculate College in Derry. She is highly apathetic toward her job, and more often than not, she says the opposite of what a Catholic nun would be expected to say in a situation, giving her some of the funniest quotes in the series.

10 “Obviously, Sister Declan’s Death Was Extremely Shocking And Unexpected. We’re Still Struggling To Understand Exactly What Happened.”

The adults of Derry have a habit of avoiding the most obvious answers to problems and questions. Sister Michael does not settle unless there is cold, hard evidence of who’s at fault, at least until she gets bored. Sister Michael’s lovable skepticism can lead to some ridiculous accusations.

After Michelle threatens a first-year student on the bus, she, the girls, and James are sent to sit detention with 98-year-old Sister Declan. The nun takes her final breath during this particular detention session, and instead of considering Sister Declan’s elderly age, Sister Michael and the parents are open to the possibility that the trouble-making teenagers killed her.

9 “Lovely Job So Far Seamus, But Keep It Moving, Rawhide Is On In 15 Minutes.”

Sister Michael is the leading lady of Our Lady Immaculate College, but she refuses to let her job get in the way of leisure time. She is seen reading The Exorcist on the bus and making sure things do not coincide with her scheduled judo classes.

Seamus is a priest who gives a speech welcoming the children of Chernobyl to Derry, who would be living with local families following the disaster in Ukraine. Sister Michael tells him to hurry up so that she doesn’t miss Rawhide when it airs on TV.

8 “You Might Want To Think About Wising Up.”

Sister Michael does not hesitate to call out her co-workers and students on the things they say if she thinks they are misguided. Sister Michael disapproves of Michelle calling Big Mandy “half f***ing gorilla,” and Orla takes this moment to explain that Michelle shouldn’t swear because it makes Our Lady in Heaven cry and her tears make the rain.

Sister Michael questions Orla’s age because the statement sounds like something a young child would believe without question. She recommends that Orla brightens up.

7 “You Will Go Far In Life, Jenny, But You Will Not Be Well-Liked.”

Jenny Joyce is the closest thing to a Regina George character in Derry. She’s the teachers’ pet who is constantly rubbing her family’s wealth into other students’ faces and trying to get the girls and James in trouble. She’s what they call a “craic killer” in Derry, meaning a party pooper.

When the group tries throwing a party with the Protestant boys at the Friends Across the Barricade retreat, Jenny reports their actions to Sister Michael, who then crashes the party and assures Jenny that she’ll succeed in life but make few friends along the way.

6 “No, Sure What Use Will That Do?”

Sister Michael has an apathetic attitude toward her profession, resulting in some unexpected responses to religious practices. While Erin is working at the school newspaper, Sister Michael enters the newsroom and informs the student staff that Louise Kerr isn’t doing well and her return to school is unlikely, so her position on the team will need to be filled.

Jenny is expecting Sister Michael to encourage prayer for Louise’s recovery, but instead, she dismisses the idea and asks how prayer would be useful in the scenario.

5 “If Anyone Is Feeling Anxious Or Worried Or Even If You Just Want To Chat, Please, Please, Do Not Come Crying To Me.”

Sometimes, for a mere second, it sounds like Sister Michael is making a thoughtful, heartfelt comment. The line then quickly dips back into the amusing pessimism that makes her character so enjoyable.

Sister Michael is speaking to the student body and reminds them that resit examinations are coming up. She knows that exams are stressful and daunting for young people. She opens her heart to say that students who are nervous and anxious shouldn’t come for her aid because she doesn’t want to hear the whining.

4 “Sadly I Am Unable To Come On This One As I Despise The French.”

Sister Michael expresses her unfiltered opinions to the students of Our Lady Immaculate College without a second thought, even when they could be seen as inappropriate or controversial coming from someone in her position.

Erin, Michelle, Clare, and Orla excitedly wait for Sister Michael to unveil the location of the anticipated Euro Trotters trip. After taking a dramatic pause, she says Paris, France will be the destination of the year. Sister Michael reveals that she cannot bring herself to make the voyage because she despises the French.

3 “Well I Think It’s Safe To Say That We All Just Lost A Bit Of Respect For You There, Clare.”

Sister Michael may seem carefree but she has an intimidating nature—intimidating enough to shake Clare and get her to tell the truth, even if that means betraying her best friends in the heat of the moment.

Sister Michael calls the girls and James to her office after their squabble with Tina O’Connell on the bus. Before heading in, the group agrees to take the blame together and not point fingers. Upon seeing Sister Michael, Clare cracks and immediately rambles about how it was Michelle’s fault.

2 “Every Year, I Sit Backstage Listening To The Singers, And It Really Makes Me Realize Just How Talented The Professionals Who Recorded These Tracks Were.”

Sister Michael has a talent for complimenting people and then following the compliment with a snide remark. She’s hilariously straightforward in the way that she does it too. Sister Michael has some seasoned dry-wit humor.

After a choral performance at the school talent school, Sister Michael calls the act “lovely” as the group walks off-stage. She then rolls her eyes, turns to the microphone, and says listening to students sing renditions of songs make her appreciate the talent of the original singers on the original tracks. She disguises her distaste as a compliment.

1 “What’s Happening? Am I Dead? Is This My Wake? Am I In Hell?’

Most of Sister Michael’s interactions with the other characters in Derry Girls take place in a school setting. Ironically, one of her few interactions outside of Our Lady Immaculate College is with the dull Uncle Colm.

Sister Michael finds herself trapped in one of Uncle Colm’s longwinded tales while attending Aunt Bridie’s wake. Anyone would agree that having to sit and listen to Colm is like a punishment, and Sister Michael asks if she’s died and been sent to hell, even though she’s a nun.

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