Drax’s 5 Funniest (& 5 Most Heartbreaking) Quotes In The MCU

In the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie, Drax was characterized as the least overtly comedic member of the team. He was more of a tragic figure: he’d lost his family and he was driven by a desire to avenge them. In the sequel, James Gunn ratcheted up the humor and gave Drax some of the most ridiculous lines in the movie.

At first, Dave Bautista objected to this angle, but eventually decided to just lean into it. As a result, Drax has plenty of both hilarious and gut-wrenching moments in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Here are his five funniest lines, and five saddest.

10 Funniest: “I’m Sure I’m Invisible.”

Right after a somber, dramatic moment shared by Peter Quill and Gamora, they see Drax standing in the room, completely still, chomping on a bag of zarg-nuts. He tells them, “I’ve mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still, that I become invisible to the eye.”

Quill tells Drax that they can see him eating zarg-nuts, but he counters, “My movement…is so slow…that it’s imperceptible.” They continue to tell him that he is, in fact, visible. When Mantis comes in and says, “Hi, Drax!,” he finally accepts it.

9 Most Heartbreaking: “Ronan Murdered My Wife, Ovette, And My Daughter, Kamaria.”

When we first meet Drax, he approaches some prisoners in the Kyln who are about to kill Gamora and demands that they let him kill her instead. She’s been working for Ronan the Accuser, and he explains his backstory so that they know why he deserves to be the one who kills Ronan’s minion.

With a straight face hiding real pain, Drax says, “Ronan murdered my wife, Ovette, and my daughter, Kamaria. He slaughtered them where they stood. And he laughed!”

8 Funniest: “Die, Blanket Of Death!”

One of the great things that Scott Derrickson brought to Stephen Strange in his introduction into the MCU was giving the Cloak of Levitation a personality. When Strange teams up with Iron Man and Spider-Man in Avengers: Infinity War and they encounter the Guardians of the Galaxy on Titan, Drax gets into a fight with the Cloak of Levitation.

As he desperately tries to fight it off and finds that he’s no match for its magical abilities, he cries out, “Die, blanket of death!”

7 Most Heartbreaking: “There Are Two Types Of Beings In The Universe: Those Who Dance, And Those Who Do Not.”

As Drax notices that Quill is falling for Gamora, he tells him that they’re too different for a relationship to work. He tells him, “There are two types of beings in the universe: those who dance, and those who do not,” and reminisces about his wife, Ovette, who wouldn’t even tap her foot if the most melodic, beautiful tune was playing.

Listening to Drax talk about his late wife is always bittersweet. He was deeply in love with her, and Ronan killed her without thinking twice.

6 Funniest: “I’ll Do You One Better: Why Is Gamora?”

When Iron Man, Doctor Strange, and Spider-Man arrive on Titan, they’re ambushed by the Guardians of the Galaxy, who think they’re working for Thanos. Star-Lord grabs Spidey and puts a Quad Blaster to his head, so Iron Man ups the stakes by holding a cannon to Drax’s head.

Star-Lord asks them, “Where’s Gamora?” Confused, Iron Man says, “I’ll do you one better: who is Gamora?” Dave Bautista improvised a hilarious progression of this joke: “I’ll do you one better: why is Gamora?”

5 Most Heartbreaking: “You, Quill, Are My Friend.”

In the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie, Drax was introduced with a tough exterior. But he was using that tough exterior to hide the deep anguish he felt following the slaughter of his family.

When he finds a new family with the Guardians, he tells Quill, “I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you’ve accepted me, despite my blunders. It is good to once again be among friends. You, Quill, are my friend.”

4 Funniest: “I Have Singlehandedly Vanquished The Beast!”

In the opening action set piece of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, as the Guardians take on an interdimensional monster, Drax leaps into the beast’s mouth, figuring it’ll be easier to cut its skin from the inside. The other Guardians are baffled by this, because the skin will be just as thick from the inside as the outside.

In the end, it’s Gamora who manages to take down this monster. She goes after its head with her swords and kills it in seconds. But since Drax was inside the monster and didn’t see this, when he emerges from its gooey corpse, he cries out, “I have singlehandedly vanquished the beast!”

3 Most Heartbreaking: “Those Pools, They Remind Me Of When I Took My Daughter To The Forgotten Reaches Of My Homeworld.”

Although he makes it clear that he finds her repulsive, and oddly manages to spin that into a positive thing, Drax finds himself drawn to Mantis.

She reminds him of his daughter, and the pools on Ego’s planet remind him of the pools on his own planet that he used to take his daughter to. He explains, “Those pools, they remind me of when I took my daughter to the forgotten reaches of my homeworld.”

2 Funniest: “Nothing Goes Over My Head. My Reflexes Are Too Fast, I Would Catch It.”

One of the funniest things about Drax as a character is that he takes everything literally. He can’t comprehend metaphorical language because it doesn’t exist on his planet.

When that was explained by Rocket in the first Guardians movie — telling Quill that metaphors go over Drax’s head — Drax provides a prime example: “Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it.”

1 Most Heartbreaking: “And In The End, See My Wife And Daughter Again.”

As Peter Quill inspires the Guardians to come together as a team, standing in a circle, ahead of the final battle against Ronan’s army to save Xandar from his wrath, Drax is among the first to stand beside Quill and pledge his allegiance.

Drax tells Quill, “You are an honorable man, Quill. I will fight beside you. And in the end, see my wife and daughter again.” The real tragedy here is that Drax is fully prepared to die in battle because it means he’ll be reunited with his wife and daughter in the great beyond.

About The Author

Ben Sherlock
(3465 Articles Published)

Ben Sherlock is a writer, comedian, independent filmmaker, and Burt Reynolds enthusiast. He writes lists for Screen Rant and features and reviews for Game Rant. He’s currently in pre-production on his first feature (and has been for a while, because filmmaking is expensive). You can catch him performing standup at odd pubs around the UK that will give him stage time. Previously, he wrote for Taste of Cinema, Comic Book Resources, and BabbleTop.

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