Euphoria: 10 Funniest Quotes From The Show

Throughout the first half of its second season, as well as the entire first season, Euphoria is probably one of the saddest shows on television right now. But, it’s also one of the funniest. With it being incredibly relatable and honest, the show’s characters often have some of the funniest things to say.

Although one moment in one of the latest episodes of Euphoria that didn’t make the top ten funniest quotes from the show deserves an honorable mention: when Cal refused to put his penis away when Marsha asked him for the second time and responded “I am who I am.” The rest of the characters are definitely ready to drop some downright hilarious lines to make audiences howl between their tears.

Rue On The Currency of Love

“I know Your Generation Relied On Flowers And Father’s Permission, But It’s 2019, And Unless You’re Amish, Nudes Are The Currency Of Love. So Stop Shaming Us.”

One of the things that they talk about in the show the most in the first couple of episodes is the concept of nudes and love. When Rue says, “nudes are the currency of love. So stop shaming us,” it’s funny because Rue isn’t even the one sending anyone nudes. To be fair, she is narrating how Jules and Cassie are treated when it comes to the “currency of love.”

But, it’s not only funny for that reason but also the entire quote on how Rue goes about making her point. She says, “I know your generation relied on flowers and father’s permission,” it feels like a note from the entire generation, which is incredibly funny in its potential.

Maddy’s Most Iconic Comment

“First Of All, Ew. Second Of All, Ew.”

Maddy has some of the funniest quotes on the show and when she said, “first of all, ew. Second of all, ew,” it was one of the funniest things she has ever said. In response to Nate walking into the winter formal with another girl, this is what she said. This quote is funny because it’s simple and straight to the point.

Maddy always has a way with words, knows when to say something and when to stop, but she also knows when to push the envelope. And, this quote has so much potential for being used in response to any situation that is annoying or gross.

Fez Introducing Ashtray

“That’s Not A Kid. That’s My Business Partner.”

During the first episode of season 2, Fez explains to his new supplier, “that’s not a kid. That’s my business partner.” He says this to one of the scariest characters on Euphoria in season 2, who threatens to sell Rue to some dangerous people if she screws her over. This is funny because it’s what Fez’s grandma said to people she was dealing drugs with when Fez was this little kid at the drug deal.

Now, he’s come full circle with Ashtray, and he has now taken the place that he had when he was younger. So, not only is this quote quite sentimental, but it’s also hilarious because of the way Fez says it.

Rue On Her Sobriety

“It’s Not A Relapse If It’s Warranted. It’s A Hall Pass.”

One of the biggest threads throughout both seasons of this show is Rue’s sobriety or lack thereof. What’s funny about this quote is that the audience knows that this is a relapse, Rue relapsed, but she is still pretending that she isn’t. She says, “It’s not relapse if it’s warranted. It’s a hall pass.”

This is funny because of how out of touch Rue is, and also because of how she says it because, at the end of the day, she is in high school still. So, the way she says this quote, “hall pass,” she’s aware of where she is in her life and she’s poking fun at it.

Rue On Being A Detective

“I’m Morgan Fuckin’ Freeman And This Is The Beginning Of The Third Act.”

During season one, while Rue is figuring out what is going on with Jules and Nate, she essentially becomes a detective with Lexi. She says, “I’m Morgan fuckin’ Freeman and this is the beginning of the third act.” What’s funny about this quote is that the audience knows exactly where Rue is at and where she’s going.

Rue is ready to strike and she will do anything she needs to to get to the bottom of what’s going on with Jules at Nate, anything. This quote also has a lot of potential because it can be used at any moment in which a person is onto someone else for doing something incredibly shady.

Jules On Kat’s Virginity

“What Do You Think This Is, The Eighties? Catch A Dick.”

As Kat and Jules’ friendship grows, going back to the beginning of their time together. One of the first things that Jules says to Kat in summer school at the beginning of the first season was, “What do you think this is, the eighties? Catch a dick.” This is funny because it’s another mention of the times and comparing it to this generation’s, which is something that the main audience of this show is of younger generations.

RELATED: Why Jules Is Actually The Show’s Main Character Of Euphoria

Another thing that’s funny about this quote is how Jules says this to Kat. She doesn’t let her down easy, she lets her have it and lets her know how she feels about Kat still being a virgin.

Lexi On Sharing A Room With Cassie

“Ew.”

Another quote that mentions the word, “ew,” is when Lexi comments on Cassie talking to McKay on the phone about how much they like each other. In her one-word response, “ew,” the audience is immediately dropped in on who Lexi is as a character.

What’s funny about this quote is that it’s not something that Lexi would typically say as the dutiful younger sister, it’s unexpected and something any sibling who shares a room could relate to.

Maddy And Cassie On Eating Carbs

”We Don’t Eat Carbs! Two Please!”

During the first season in the carnival episode, Maddy and Cassie get molly from Ashtray and Fex in their pretzel truck. This quote is funny because of how definitively they say that they don’t eat carbs, but then ask for two anyways.

Of course, the audience knows that they are trying to get drugs, and everyone knows how this episode ends, but it’s hilarious to think of how entitled two best friends (Maddy & Cassie) can be at any moment.

Rue On Her Sobriety Part 2

“You Think ‘Cause I Went To Rehab I Stayed Clean?”

During the first episode of the first season, Rue says, “you think ‘cause I went to rehab I stayed clean?” Again, another moment of Rue joking about her sobriety to cope with her situation.

What makes this funny is not only the circumstances that inspired this quote but also because the audience knows that this path that Rue is going down, is only going to get worse and worse.

Maddy Talking About Her Body

“I Feel Like I Would Look So Sexy Pregnant”

The funniest quote in the entire show, Euphoria, is when Maddy says in the second season, “I feel like I would look so sexy pregnant.” In response to this quote BB brings up when she was pregnant, and Maddy responds that it would be nothing like when she was pregnant.

This is particularly funny because of how Maddy carries herself, and something that would normally be quite looked down upon (a girl getting pregnant in high school), is something that Maddy could pull off because she can pull anything off.