Family Guy Characters Sorted Into Hogwarts Houses

The iconic animated sitcom Family Guy first appeared on our television screens at the dawn of the 21^st century and has since continued to amaze fans across the world for 17 successful seasons. Characters such as the frenzied Peter Griffin, his diabolical son Stewie Griffin, and his frisky best friend Glenn Quagmire, have engaged audiences for over a decade with their wild and foolish antics every Sunday on TV.

With each member of the Griffin family hoarding such diverse personality traits, we thought it would be wildly interesting to sort them into the four Hogwarts houses: Where the brave reside in Gryffindor, the loyal dwell in Hufflepuff, the ones that value wisdom above all else get sorted into Ravenclaw, and the overly ambitious and cunning belong in Slytherin!

10 Peter Griffin | Slytherin

The head of the family and the lead character of the show, Peter Griffin is a true Slytherin! Whether it was trying to replicate the eccentric stunts from Jackass, adopting wild animals, or going on cross-country voyages – its no surprise that Peter encompasses true courage, a trait sought after by both Gryffindor and Slytherin houses.

However, it’s Peter’s thirst for ambition, no matter what the cost, that makes him an ideal candidate for the latter. Whether it’s creating his own TV channel (PTV) or even his own country (Petoria), Peter has always strived for popularity, power, and true greatness, like any other Slytherin alumni. Much like other members of the Slytherin house, he is also awfully selective and awfully apathetic to those who aren’t good enough for him. This leads to him often casting out and torturing his own daughter, Meg Griffin. Peter’s wife, Lois, also slowly transforms into a Slytherin.

9 Brian Griffin | Ravenclaw

When it comes to music, literature, art, science, or even basic common sense – most Family Guy character possess almost little to no knowledge. The only character that brings a little culture to the show is the family’s beloved dog, Brian Griffin.

A published author, Brian is definitely the smartest of the Griffin household and often provides sound advice to all his family members. He can be pretentious at times, but definitely believes in the merit of knowledge and wisdom, like any true Ravenclaw!

8 Meg Griffin | Hufflepuff

Teenager Meg Griffin is the eldest of the three Griffin children and usually the butt of all of the family’s jokes. Even with her family often abandoning and tormenting her, Meg is one of the most loyal and fair characters in the entire Family Guy universe, making her a true Hufflepuff.

Perhaps the one personality trait of hers that makes her the most Hufflepuff she can be is her unnerving patience. Whether it’s the constant bullying in school, being sat on at home because she’s invisible to her own father, or the relentless pure neglect of her mother – Meg is the most patient and calm character in all of Family Guy. She would definitely make her fellow Hufflepuffs proud!

7 Chris Griffin | Hufflepuff

Much like his elder sister, Chris Griffin is widely unpopular at school and often the butt of fat jokes. He is definitely not the brightest family member but does possess some talents, such as having extensive knowledge about films and certain artistic abilities.

He may lack the wit of Ravenclaws or the courage of Gryffindors, but much like other Hufflepuff students, Chris is a mild-mannered teenager who is fair, patient, and loyal to his family.

6 Stewie Griffin | Slytherin

Stewie Griffin is unlike any other baby on television. A perfect candidate for Slytherin, Stewie is both brilliant and dangerous. As a mere toddler, he has already built multiple time machines, a plethora of weapons, a secret concealed layer in his own room, and carried out many plans to kill his own mother.

Similar to many other Slytherin alumni, Stewie possesses a magnificent mind and many astounding capabilities but chooses them as a catalyst for evil rather than good. If Stewie were to go to Hogwarts, there is no doubt he would end up in Slytherin! While the baby mellows out in later seasons, early Stewie was evil to the core.

5 Glenn Quagmire | Slytherin

The sex-crazed frisky neighbor of the Griffin family, Glenn Quagmire is a true Slytherin. Apart from the planes he flies on his duty as a pilot, he constantly tries to land women, only to literally throw them out of his house the next day. He’s even seen frequently hitting on his best friend’s wife, Lois, and even her daughter, Meg, as soon as she turns 18. Much like other Slytherins, Quagmire’s desires always override his moral compass in the show.

Furthermore, similar to other Slytherin alumni, Quagmire is extremely ignorant of his own shortcomings and often blames others for his downfall. He blames his own mother for his chauvinistic behavior and Brian Griffin for pretty much anything that makes him upset. In true Slytherin fashion, Quagmire lives an extremely selfish life in Quahog.

4 Joe Swanson | Gryffindor

A local policeman and the Griffin family’s next-door neighbor, Joe Swanson is the only real Gryffindor in all of Family Guy. He might have lost his legs in the line of duty, but he never lost his courage or his yearning for good over evil through the course of 17 long seasons.

Joe is not only a brave policeman but also one of the kindest and most understanding characters on the show. Even with the constant neglect from his wife and belittling from his friends, Joe remains spirited and benevolent.

3 Cleveland Brown | Hufflepuff

The fourth and final member of Peter’s entourage, Cleveland Brown is a model Hufflepuff citizen in Quahog. Undistinguishable from any of our favorite Hufflepuff students in Harry Potter, Cleveland is patient, tranquil, and pleasant.

In fact, the only times we see Cleveland lose his patience or temper on the show is during moments of injustice or fragments of racism explored on Family Guy. A fair-minded and honorable Hufflepuff, Cleveland always fights for what is right and what is just. The Cleveland Show is a whole other story.

2 Carter Pewterschmidt | Slytherin

Carter Pewterschmidt’s antics in Quahog could almost rival the immoral actions of Voldemort in the realm of Harry Potter. A shrewd and greedy businessman, Carter has little to no care for the consequences he fashions through his actions.

Whether it was concealing the cure for cancer to turn a profit, cheating on his wife, adding toxic chemicals to beer, or gifting his daughter a gun – Mr. Pewterschmidt’s actions are seldom justified on the show. Much like other Slytherins, Carter values power and money above everything else, including the wellbeing of his family and fellow citizens.

1 Tom Tucker | Slytherin

In true Slytherin fashion, Thomas ‘Tom’ Tucker loves to belittle those around him and constantly makes jokes at the expense of others. Being the star anchorman in Quahog, Tom is one of the most narcissistic characters on the show, even giving Peter a run for his money.

Much like other Slytherin alumni, Tom feeds his ego by insulting others. He was constantly seen discrediting his co-anchor, Diane Simmons, prior to her death, and now directs his slander towards Joyce Kinney, his new co-anchor.

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