Family Guy: Chris’ 5 Funniest Quotes (& Meg’s 5 Funniest)

While Peter and Lois can easily be compared to the Simpsons patriarchs, Chris and Meg don’t really line up with Bart and Lisa. Since Chris is a teenager, he’s decidedly more disgusting than 10-year-old Bart, and Meg is characterized as the family’s punching bag – because the Family Guy writers didn’t know how to write a teenage girl – as opposed to a perfect role model like Lisa.

Along with Stewie and Brian, Chris and Meg are two of Family Guy’s most original characters, and Seth Green and Mila Kunis (replacing original voice actor Lacey Chabert) have given unforgettable performances in the roles.

10 Chris: “I Just Want Peace On Earth. That’s Better Than Meg, Right? So, I Should Get More Than Her.”

Back in the early days of Family Guy, Chris and Meg were relatively normal kids. In the Christmas episodes, their biggest concern was getting gifts, just like any other kid.

When Chris and Meg are telling Lois what they want for Christmas, Chris tries to sound like a better person to weasel his way into more presents: “I just want peace on Earth. That’s better than Meg, right? So, I should get more than her.”

9 Meg: “I’ve Been Holding In A Dump Since America.”

Meg is kidnapped by Eastern European sex traffickers in a spot-on parody of the movie Taken in season 10’s “Leggo My Meg-O.” Just like in the movie, Meg travels to Paris with her friend, they meet a seemingly charming guy at the airport, and he sends some gangsters to abduct them.

In the movie, Liam Neeson’s daughter leaves the room to call her dad. In Family Guy, Meg leaves the room because “I’ve been holding in a dump since America.”

8 Chris: “Mumbling While I Sleep To Indicate Dream Content.”

Usually, in a sitcom, when a character is asleep, they’ll mutter something that gives the audience an on-the-nose window into their sleeping mind. Family Guy took a meta approach to this as a sleeping Chris says, “Mumbling while I sleep to indicate dream content.”

Since Carter has just signed all his inheritance over to Chris, Peter wants to marry him to get half of it. He comes into his room and wakes him up to propose to him.

7 Meg: “You’re A Smart Fella, Dad.”

When Peter’s bosses discover he never passed the third grade, he has to go back to school and study among children as a grown man, much like Billy Madison, which leads to some comical misadventures.

In the episode’s climactic scene, Peter takes part in a spelling bee and manages to win. Meg says, “You’re a smart fella, Dad,” and Peter quips back, “And you’re a fart smeller, Meg!”

6 Chris: “I’m A Sinner And God’s A Pervert.”

Although the religiously devout Francis was introduced as Peter’s father, after his death, he learned that his biological father is an Irish drunk. In one episode before he died, Francis came to stay with the Griffins and saw Chris coming out of the bathroom.

He told Chris that God is always watching him and a concerned Chris said, “God’s watching me do number two? Oh, man, I’m a sinner, and God’s a pervert.”

5 Meg: “There He Is, The Reason My Bedpost Is So Shiny!”

In season 11’s “Friends Without Benefits,” Meg develops a crush on her classmate Kent Lastname. When she sees him at school, she says, “There he is, the reason my bedpost is so shiny!”

She manages to score a date with Kent, but he just wants to be friends because he’s gay. He really has a crush on Chris, so Meg tries to get them together so Chris can tell her what it’s like to be with Kent. The story takes some very dark turns.

4 Chris: “Well, We Have To Look At Your Anus All Day!”

In the episode “Brian the Bachelor,” Chris gets a huge pimple on his face that turns out to be anthropomorphic and evil. He names it Doug and it influences him to commit a litany of crimes.

When Brian complains that Chris hasn’t covered up the zit and the family has to look at it, Chris angrily snaps back, “Well, we have to look at your anus all day!”

3 Meg: “I’ve Never Even Been In A Picture Before.”

When Meg is approached by an adult modeling agent who thinks she’s got the right stuff to make it as a model, he asks if she’s ever modeled before and she says, “I’ve never even been in a picture before.”

As it turns out, the agent just wants her to model her feet. Chris stumbles across the pictures online when he notices a distinctive blemish on one of her feet.

2 Chris: “I’m So Hungry, I Could Ride A Horse.”

Chris isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, so he often gets idioms wrong. There’s a common saying, “I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse,” but Chris mixes it up.

Chris says, “I’m so hungry, I could ride a horse,” then confuses himself and says, “I don’t get it.” He thinks about it and says, “Well, I could ride it to the store, I guess.”

1 Meg: “Dear My Boyfriend, Thank You For Making Out With Me Recently, On Purpose.”

In one episode, Meg sits at the kitchen table and loudly dictates the email she’s writing to her obviously made-up boyfriend. “Don’t mind me, you guys, I’m just writing a letter to my boyfriend.”

It’s very transparent: “Dear my boyfriend, thank you for making out with me recently, on purpose. That was cool. Those flowers that you totally sent me were really pretty. Just like you said I am. Love, Meg.”

About The Author

Ben Sherlock
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Ben Sherlock is a writer, comedian, independent filmmaker, and Burt Reynolds enthusiast. He writes lists for Screen Rant and features and reviews for Game Rant. He’s currently in pre-production on his first feature (and has been for a while, because filmmaking is expensive). You can catch him performing standup at odd pubs around the UK that will give him stage time. Previously, he wrote for Taste of Cinema, Comic Book Resources, and BabbleTop.

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