Shinra has a monopoly on most of the goods people purchase in the world of Final Fantasy VII, and now one fan has envisioned the evil energy corporation’s take on breakfast: Mako-flavored Pop-Tarts. For the uninitiated, Mako is the liquid form of the Lifestream, the lifeforce of the planet Final Fantasy VII takes place on, and is frequently harvested by the Shinra Electric Power Company to fuel the city of Midgar.

Additionally, members of the elite Shinra security force known as SOLIDER are infused with Mako during their training, gaining the superhuman strength and speed required to wield massive weapons like the iconic Buster Sword and perform physics-defying feats daily. Furthermore, Mako can be crystallized to form Materia, gem-like orbs that are used to perform magic, boost a character’s stats, or even summon monsters to aid in battle. However, extracting Mako from the planet weakens the Lifestream, harming the environment and driving groups like the heroic Team AVALANCHE to oppose Shinra in their efforts to harvest Mako energy for a profit.

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A couple of days ago, Reddit user God-Emperor-Pepe posted a humorous mock-up of a box of Mako-flavored Pop-Tarts to the r/FFVII Remake. The hypothetical breakfast pastry has a glowing green filling that God-Emperor-Pepe’s headline claims “tastes like the earth,” and the box features a Materia orb on the front and a Shinra logo on the side. In the comments section, fans joke that eating too many of these Mako-flavored Pop-Tarts could lead to Mako poising, while others claim that they can taste the souls of the dead that have become one with the Lifestream.

Fans have been diving back into the world of Final Fantasy VII thanks to last year’s Final Fantasy VII: Remake, an updated reimaging of the groundbreaking 1997 JRPG classic that expanded upon the story of Cloud Strife and his rag-tag band of allies as they battle to save the planet from Shinra and the rogue SOLDIER Sephiroth. A Yuffie-focused side story titled INTERmission was released as a PlayStation 5-exclusive DLC back in June, with Square Enix promising that several story and gameplay elements from the expansion will carry over into the next installment of the Final Fantasy VII Remake series.

Shinra’s Mako-flavored Pop-Tarts might not taste very good and could come with some extremely dangerous health risks, but the sight of this Final Fantasy VII-themed mock-up is good for a laugh or two as fans wait patiently for the next Remake game. It’s exactly the sort of thing the infamously profit-and-power-hungry Shinra would try to push on the unsuspecting citizens of Midgar, regardless of any risk to the planet or the tastebuds of consumers.

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Source: u/God-Emperor-Pepe

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J. Brodie Shirey
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J. Brodie Shirey is just a simple man trying to make his way in the universe, but aren’t we all? He currently lives in York, Pennsylvania. He is a big comic book, video game, and science fiction fan, and likes writing articles for ScreenRant or scripts for some of his crazy TV show ideas.

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