Galactus Eats Worlds That Are Too Stupid to Live

A near-omnipotent demigod, Galactus, the Devourer of Worlds is one of the Fantastic Four’s most powerful villains, and one of the mightiest beings in the Marvel Universe. As his title suggests, Galactus consumes planets for sustenance, feared throughout the universe as a force that has consumed countless civilizations and sentient lives. However, many comic book storylines have established that Galactus actually serves a higher purpose in the cosmos, collecting the energy that will eventually allow the next iteration of reality to come into existence. This frames him as more than a simple all-powerful villain since his actions, while horrifying, are ultimately necessary.

Galactus himself has admitted that, given the choice, he would choose to feed on worlds that are dying or have civilizations in decline. However, in one weird storyline, he shows that he also goes after planets that are literally too stupid to continue existing. In Excalibur #14, the titular superhero team (consisting of former X-Men Kitty Pryde, Phoenix, and Nightcrawler, as well as British superheroes Meggan Puceanu and Captain Britain) go on a ‘Cross-Time Caper’ where their interdimensional train gets randomly thrown into multiple alternate dimensions.

One of these alternate Earths turns out to be a parody version of the Marvel Universe similar to a MAD Magazine comic or Marvel’s own What The–?! series, which lampooned their own stories. On this Earth, heroes and villains constantly fight for the sake of cheap sight gags, Daredevil smashes through windows so often that people don’t pay any attention to him, and various versions of Wolverine stand around reading their catchphrases from a script.

The world even boasts appearances from non-Marvel characters, including a Dalek from Doctor Who. However, things turn serious when Galactus suddenly appears and begins assembling a machine to destroy the planet. Interestingly, this appears to be the mainstream universe’s Galactus, who is aware that he made a promise to Reed Richards not to consume Earth. However, Galactus reasons that he made the promise to a different Reed Richards of a different Earth, and that this version of the planet has grown “too silly” to exist and threatens the universal order. Although every single superhero and villain attempts to stop the Devourer of Worlds, Galactus just swats them away and Excalibur is forced to leave the planet and continue their journey through alternate dimensions.

Ultimately, Galactus obliterates all life on the planet, reducing it to an inert asteroid. Whether or not he actually consumed the planet’s energies is left ambiguous (although considering his hunger, it’s highly unlikely he let the planet go to waste). In the final pages, it’s revealed that this universe’s cosmic prankster the Impossible Man created the “silly Earth,” which would otherwise have remained a dead planet. Warning the Impossible Man “playtime is over,” Galactus leaves – but a short time later, the Impossible Man simply re-manifests the parody Earth back to its former glory.

Notably, Galactus also ate the Impossible Man’s home planet Popup in the mainstream Marvel Universe (although to be fair, the Impossible Man actually asked him to do that since his people had grown too bored to keep existing). Devouring planets too stupid to live probably isn’t the coolest job description on Galactus’ resume, but apparently the Devourer of Worlds’ responsibilities really are more complex than they might seem.

About The Author

Michael Jung
(700 Articles Published)

See also  DCEU Flash Got His Name From Arrowverse Version Confirmed

Michael Jung is a mild-mannered freelance writer-for-hire, actor, and professional storyteller with a keen interest in pop culture, education, nonprofit organizations, and unusual side hustles. His work has been featured in Screen Rant, ASU Now, Sell Books Fast, Study.com, and Free Arts among others. A graduate of Arizona State University with a PhD in 20^th Century American Literature, Michael has written novels, short stories, stage plays, screenplays, and how-to manuals.

Michael’s background in storytelling draws him to find the most fascinating aspects of any topic and transform them into a narrative that informs and entertains the reader. Thanks to a life spent immersed in comic books and movies, Michael is always ready to infuse his articles with offbeat bits of trivia for an extra layer of fun. In his spare time, you can find him entertaining kids as Spider-Man or Darth Vader at birthday parties or scaring the heck out of them at haunted houses.

Visit Michael Jung’s website for information on how to hire him, follow him on Twitter Michael50834213, or contact him directly: michael(at)michaeljungwriter(dot)com.

More From Michael Jung