How Matchmaking Works Differently in Married At First Sight & Indian Matchmaking

Lifetime’s Married at First Sight (MAFS) has exercised a reality monopoly on arranged marriage since the series debuted in 2014, but Netflix’s latest dating series Indian Matchmaking (IM) finally threw an opponent into the arena. The newly released series follows career matchmaker Sima Taparia as she arranges marriages for Indian and Indian American millennials. Maintaining its 11 season legacy, Lifetime’s series relies on a panel of three marriage and relationship experts to methodically pair American singles looking to settle down.

When it comes to finding the perfect match, the shows’ matchmakers employ vastly different tools and tricks to bring lonely hearts into holy matrimony. The marriage gurus of each series have created both romantic bliss and unruly relationship disaster for their clients, so let’s take a look at their different approaches to (hopefully) creating long-lasting happiness.

MAFS is a self-proclaimed “experiment” in which three experts wade through a pool of applicants and consult on which singles could build and succeed in a fruitful marriage. Though the experts counsel couples individually throughout the season, they lean on each other’s expertise and opinions while drafting the couples-to-be. Sima Taparia, however, flies solo in her globe-trotting search for lonely hearts. Indian Matchmaking sees her occasionally consult astrologers or refer her clients to life coaches during the process, but she ultimately relies on her own judge of character and decades of experience to pair complementary clients. In addition, Sima repeatedly asserts marriage as a union of two families, not just two individuals. Thus following the traditions of arranged marriage, she heavily involves the families in her client’s matchmaking process. Wielding heavy influence over their children’s decision, the family can make or break a pairing. Dr. Pepper and company, on the other hand, operate a little differently, focusing instead on the wants of the hopeful single looking to the experts for guidance. Ultimately, the experts see marriage as a journey for two. Families are not included in the process, and sometimes vehemently oppose to the whole ordeal.

With a horde of accolades and degrees behind them, MAFS’ marital round table approaches matchmaking with an educationally developed mindset. Dr. Pepper and Dr. Viviana implement sociological and therapeutic techniques learned through their years of schooling in matchmaking, building their lineup of ideally solid couples on a foundation of logic and methodical reasoning. Pastor Calvin, while guided by his own faith, also leads with his experience and belief in the couple’s determined compatibility. Raised in the spiritual traditions of Indian culture, Sima heavily prioritizes astrology and God’s will in her matchmaking process. During the series, she explains how astrological alignment is imperative in predicting a strong marriage, with some families even rejecting to meet a candidate whose astrological chart doesn’t agree with their own.

In the first episode, Sima reduces the differences between American and Indian marital values in a simple, yet all-telling statement. She said, “In India, we don’t say arranged marriage. There is marriage, and then love marriage.” Yes, Sima wishes for her clients to find love and happiness in their unions, but in India, marriage signifies more than a bond of love between two people. Marriage is a partnership between two families upon which one can build their life with the support of a life-long spouse. Like Sima, the Married at First Sight panel combs over every detail to ensure their match is a good fit, but they also desperately want their clients to fall in love. The experiment is designed for people who haven’t had luck in love, and now wish to put their faith in a panel of highly-trained love experts. Arranged marriage is the experimental vehicle to bring them true love, not the end resort.

There are other differences between Sima and the expert’s strategy, but there isn’t a one-glove-fits all approach to love or marriage. Sima may be the perfect matchmaker for a traditional Indian family, but a nightmare consultant for a young, love-struck American. The reverse could be said for the MAFS panel. As long as they each keep working to create love in their own ways, the world should be better for it.

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