How to Romance Kaidan Alenko in Mass Effect 3

Choosing who to romance can be an important part of any Mass Effect Legendary Edition playthrough, and if Shepard seeks some stability, they may consider beginning or rekindling a romance with Kaidan Alenko in Mass Effect 3. If Kaidan was chosen over Ashley as the Virmire survivor, he will again appear in Mass Effect 3 from the Priority: Mars mission onward. Unlike most squadmate romances in Mass Effect Legendary Edition, Shepard does not need to have romanced Kaidan previously to romance him during Mass Effect 3. In addition, Kaidan is also available to both a male and female Shepard, a change from his Mass Effect 1 romance.

While the romances in both Mass Effect 1 and Mass Effect 2 are largely one-night experiences, the romantic relationships between Shepard and their squadmate paramour in Mass Effect 3 are generally more complex and mature. Romancing Kaidan in Mass Effect 3 can be difficult at first, especially because he will no longer trust Shepard following the events of Mass Effect 2. Players will need to earn enough points to get his trust back and prevent him from being killed during Priority: Citadel II. Here’s how to romance Kaidan, either for the first time or as a continuation, in Mass Effect 3.

How To Begin Or Continue A Romance With Kaidan In Mass Effect 3

To romance Kaidan in Mass Effect 3, Shepard will first need to clear their name. When Shepard last saw Kaidan, he was upset about their involvement with Cerberus and refused to listen to Shepard’s explanation. During Priority: Mars, Kaidan will ask twice about Shepard’s trustworthiness and involvement with Cerberus in Mass Effect 2. During the conversation, players will need to select dialogue options that condemn Cerberus. These include It was a temporary alliance, You know me better than that, and I never left.

After Kaidan is injured at the end of Priority: Mars, Shepard will need to visit him at least three times at Huerta Memorial Hospital on the Citadel. This is the same place where Shepard can talk with Thane. Most of the time, Shepard will receive an email at their private terminal suggesting a visit. Shepard should continue to be kind, choosing Paragon dialogue options throughout these conversations. They can also pick up a bottle of TM88 Peruvian Whiskey from Sirta Supplies in the hospital lobby to give him as a gift.

During the second conversation at the hospital, if Shepard did not romance anyone else in Mass Effect 2, they will have the option to affirm or reaffirm their affection for Kaidan. This serves as a soft lock-in point for the romance, letting Kaidan know Shepard is interested but not forcing the player to fully commit yet. If Shepard was in a relationship with anyone else, especially if they had romanced Kaidan in Mass Effect 1, they will need to make it clear during this conversation that they are choosing Kaidan.

Shepard will need to visit Kaidan the third time when he announces he has accepted the Specter position. This is an important step to help Shepard reestablish trust with Kaidan and prevent him from being killed during the attack on the Citadel.

During Priority: The CitadelII, as Kaidan escorts Udina and the Council out, Shepard will need to either pass a Trust or Reputation check to get Kaidan on their side. Like other decision-based mechanics in Mass Effect, Kaidan’s trust depends on the number of points players accumulate throughout their playthrough of the series. The points break down as follows:

• Romance Kaidan in Mass Effect 1: +2 Points
• Cheat on Kaidan in Mass Effect 2: -1 Point
• Do not admit to or apologize for cheating on Kaidan in Mass Effect 2: -1 Point
• Save the Council in Mass Effect 1: +1 Point
• Do not save the Council in Mass Effect 1: -1 Point
• Let Kirrahe die in Mass Effect 1 and have Thane die in Mass Effect 2: -2 Points
• Use Paragon dialogue with Kaidan during Priority: Mars: +1 Point
• Use Renegade dialogue with Kaidan during Priority: Mars: -1 Point
• Visit Kaidan in the hospital once while he is awake: +2 Points
• Visit Kaidan in the hospital a second time: +1 Point
• Lower weapons during the confrontation in Priority: The Citadel II: +1 Point

If during the confrontation players have -1 Points or lower, there is no way to talk Kaidan down, and he will be killed during the conversation. If players have 0 to 3 Points, they will need to pass a difficult Reputation check and use the Charm or Intimidate dialogue option to get Kaidan to listen and trust them. If they have 4 or more Points, Kaidan will immediately side with Shepard. To continue the romance, Shepard must get Kaidan on their side. They can, however, use the Renegade interrupt to shoot Udina themselves, preventing Kaidan from needing to do so.

Following this mission, Kaidan will meet Shepard at the Normandy Dock: Bay D24 upon opening the door to return to the Normandy. Kaidan will explain that Admiral Hackett has asked him to join the team working on the Crucible but that he would rather be reassigned to the Normandy. Shepard will need to pick the Welcome aboard dialogue option to recruit him back to the squad and continue the romance. Allowing him to go with Hackett will lock the player out of the romance, and Shepard will not be able to interact with him for most of the rest of the game. He will also not be able to attend Shepard’s party in the Citadel DLC.

To lock in the romance with Kaidan, Shepard will need to accept his invitation to meet at Apollo’s Cafe in the Presidium Commons next time the Normandy is docked at The Citadel. Like before, they will need to select the Paragon dialogue options. Though the dialogue will be slightly different if Shepard previously romanced Kaidan in Mass Effect 1, the result is the same whether they are rekindling the relationship or starting one for the first time.

Like other romanced squadmates during the Citadel DLC, Kaidan will be the first squadmate to come to Shepard’s aid during the ambush. After the final fight, he can be invited to Shepard’s apartment, where he will cook for them. After the meal, they can either cuddle on the couch or head to Shepard’s room to “burn off” some of the calories from their shared meal. Kaidan is an optional invite to Shepard’s party and, if invited, the two will wake up in bed together the morning after.

Just before the mission Priority: Cerberus Headquarters, Kaidan will come to Shepard’s quarters offering a quick drink. Dialogue during this scene will depend on whether the relationship is new or a continuation from Mass Effect 1, but either way, the two can discuss their feelings and spend the night together.

Kaidan will also be one of Shepard’s final goodbyes during Priority: Earth. If Kaidan is part of the squad during the run up to the beam, he will become severely injured and evacuated back to the Normandy. No matter what, Shepard will need to leave him behind. The two will confess their love for one another one final time here. In the epilogue, he will be seen either putting Shepard’s name on the Memorial Wall or refusing to do so, depending on the player’s chosen Mass Effect 3 ending and total number of War Assets.

Mass Effect: Legendary Edition is available for PC, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One, with backward compatibility for PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X/S.

About The Author