In Bruges: Harry’s 10 Greatest Quotes

While the stars of Martin McDonagh’s feature directorial debut In Bruges are Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson as Ray and Ken, two hitmen who are sent to lay low in the titular Belgian city following a botched job, it’s Ralph Fiennes who steals the show in the role of their boss, Harry Waters.

For the first half of the movie, Harry is only mentioned by name, with Ray and Ken building a mystique around their sinister employer. When he finally shows up, he doesn’t disappoint. Fiennes gave one of the funniest performances of the 21st century in In Bruges.

10 “I Want A Normal Gun For A Normal Person.”

Arms deals are a standard scene featured in crime movies. There’s a scene in Taxi Driver in which Travis Bickle gets a gun from Easy Andy, and there’s a scene in In Bruges in which Harry gets one from Yuri.

When he’s offered an Uzi, Harry says, “An Uzi? I’m not from South Central Los f*cking Angeles. I didn’t come here to shoot twenty black ten-year-olds in a drive-by. I want a normal gun for a normal person.”

9 “Like I’m Not Going To Do Nothing To You Just Because You’re Standing About Like Robert F****** Powell.”

After Ken shoots Harry in the leg, Harry tells him, “Like I’m not going to do nothing to you just because you’re standing about like Robert f*cking Powell.”

But Ken doesn’t get the reference – he asks, “Like who?” – so Harry angrily explains, “Like Robert f*cking Powell out of Jesus of f*cking Nazareth!”

8 “I Don’t Want To Run Out There, Come Back In 10 Minutes, And Find You F****** Hiding In A Cupboard.”

When Harry confronts Ray in his hotel, a young woman gets caught in the middle of them. Ray tells Harry that to avoid involving the woman, he’ll jump out of his window into the canal and take his chances.

Harry wants to make sure there isn’t any funny business: “You completely promise to jump into the canal? I don’t want to run out there, come back in 10 minutes, and find you f*cking hiding in a cupboard.”

7 “You F****** Retract That Bit About My C*** F****** Kids!”

After Ken has a long tirade about Harry being a “c*nt” and how “the only thing that’s going to change is that you’re going to be an even bigger c*nt,” except for maybe having “some more c*nt kids.”

Harry quips back, “Leave my kids f*cking out of it! What have they done? You f*cking retract that bit about my c*nt f*cking kids!” Ken admits he went too far and retracts it.

6 “What Are They Going To Have? A Medieval F****** Bowling Alley?”

When Ken tells Harry that Ray is definitely gone, Harry replies, “You realize there are no bowling alleys in Bruges.” Ken says, “I realize that, Harry. The boy wanted to have a look anyway.”

Harry cracks, “What are they going to have? A medieval f*cking bowling alley?” There’s no limit to the relentless roasting of Bruges in this movie.

5 “Oh, Don’t Come Over All Gandhi!”

After seeing the consequences of violence in all its ugliness during his time in Bruges, when Ken is confronted by Harry, he lays down his weapon and tells his boss, “I ain’t fighting anymore, Harry.”

Harry says, “All right, then I’m blowing your f*cking head off. Oh, don’t come over all Gandhi! What are you doing!?”

4 “How’s A Fairy Tale Town Not Somebody’s F****** Thing?”

Midway through In Bruges, it’s revealed that Harry only sent Ray and Ken to Bruges in order to give Ray one last happy memory before he has him bumped off. The irony, of course, is that Ray hates his time in Bruges and considers it to be a hell on Earth.

Harry is confused when Ken tells him that Bruges isn’t Ray’s thing. He says, “It’s a fairy tale town, isn’t it? How’s a fairy tale town not somebody’s f*cking thing? How can all those canals and bridges and cobbled streets and those churches, all that beautiful f*cking fairy tale stuff, how can that not be somebody’s f*cking thing, eh?”

3 “Don’t Be Stupid. This Is The Shootout.”

When Harry finally confronts Ray in his hotel and they’ve got their guns drawn with a woman caught in the middle of them, she says, “Why don’t you both put your guns down and go home?”

But Harry tells her, “Don’t be stupid. This is the shootout.” There’s a meta layer to the finale of In Bruges, as both Harry and Ray acknowledge that it’s the big third-act standoff in their real-life crisis.

2 “You’re An Inanimate F****** Object!”

When Harry gets mad while he’s on the phone, he decides to take his anger out on the phone itself. His wife Natalie rushes up to him and says, “Harry! It’s an inanimate f*cking object!”

He snaps at her, “You’re an inanimate f*cking object!” After he’s calmed down, he apologizes to his wife and tells her she’s not an inanimate object like he said.

1 “Did I Ask You To Be His Psychiatrist? No. I Asked You To F****** Kill Him.”

Ken becomes concerned for Ray when he starts exhibiting suicidal tendencies, even though his job is to snuff him out. Instead of killing Ray, Ken stopped him from killing himself.

Harry perfectly sums up Ray and Ken’s dynamic (and the premise of the movie) when he tells Ken, “Did I ask you to be his psychiatrist? No. I asked you to f*cking kill him.”

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Ben Sherlock
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Ben Sherlock is a writer, comedian, independent filmmaker, and Burt Reynolds enthusiast. He writes lists for Screen Rant and features and reviews for Game Rant. He’s currently in pre-production on his first feature (and has been for a while, because filmmaking is expensive). You can catch him performing standup at odd pubs around the UK that will give him stage time. Previously, he wrote for Taste of Cinema, Comic Book Resources, and BabbleTop.

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