Iron Man’s Armor Nipples Are WAY Worse Than Batman’s

The original Batman movie series has become something of a joke to superhero fans, but history should remember: for as foolish as it may have been to put nipples on the Batsuit, the decision to give Iron Man‘s armor his own metallic nipples remains a far stranger and more nefarious crime.

There’s a good chance most Batman fans or fans of superhero movies in general will have heard of the Batsuit-nipple debacle. The product of director Joel Schumacher’s drastic design shift from Tim Burton and Michael Keaton’s first two films, the sculpted physique of the Batsuit was exaggerated to include polished buttocks and, most controversially, nipples. The choice has only become more derided with time, with George Clooney apologizing to Batman fans for his part (even if Schumacher is still surprised Batman’s nipples angered fans). The Bat-nipples had everything needed to make a fan gripe legendary… but it’s time Iron Man’s armor nipples were made every bit as famous. Only then can an explanation possibly be offered by Marvel.

The anatomically correct version of Iron Man’s armor is clearly less famous (or infamous) as Batman’s movie suit, since the strange decision also came years before the arrival of the Internet, and lacked the audience of Batman Forever or Batman & Robin. But in some ways, the presence of Iron Man’s pectoral detailing was present from the very beginning.

The original Iron Man armor debuted with chest-located ports/nozzles/decoration, as the most devoted Marvel Comics fans will know. They remained when Tony Stark turned his cave-manufactured armor into the red-and-gold beauty that made him a comic book icon. But as the years rolled by, artists slowly and inconsistently used Iron Man’s chest ports to simulate the bare-chested hero beneath the metal. Even so, the original designs show that was never the intention, and once Tony (and Marvel) evolved the design into a more sculpted, muscular shape, the hint of actual chest muscles became unnecessary. But just like all logical decisions made in the comic book world… the 1990s changed all that.

There is much to say about the much-maligned Iron Man story “The Crossing,” which modified or erased the main Avengers for their re-imagining in the Heroes Reborn universe. But as it pertains specifically to Iron Man, the event saw Tony Stark turn evil, die, and be replaced by his younger self from an alternate reality (specifically, the college-aged Tony Stark of Earth-96020). No design change is made without editorial approval, meaning it’s no ONE person’s fault for what happened next. But in the same way Clooney is slagged for the Bat-nipples despite Val Kilmer debuting them in Batman Forever, the credit here goes to artist Joe Bennett, and inkers Mark McKenna, and Tim Dion.

Keep in mind that by this point in 1996, men like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone had redefined the image of the modern action hero, and maybe the next design change makes sense. But logical or not, when the new Tony’s armor debuted in Iron Man #331, it did it with two stand-out tweaks.

To be perfectly accurate, the return of Iron Man’s nipples actually appeared on the cover of the previous issue. But while Tony Stark’s pronounced, metallic nut-sized nipples graced the cover of Iron Man #330, the actual armor inside the issue remained as smooth and muscular as it had in the years prior. It was only with Iron Man #331 and Iron Man #332 that the nippled armor promised on the cover was delivered within (coincidentally or not, the final two issues of the original Iron Man series).

There is really no description of the artistic decision that can match the images themselves, and while fans might expect it, no explanation is ever offered. Which means readers were left dumbfounded, staring at the inexplicable nipples presumably affixed to the armor by Tony Stark himself… along with the rest of his armors hijacked by villains in the same issue, leading to entire splash pages of nipple-decorated combat suits.

Does this strange and largely forgotten crime of Iron Man’s match Batman’s design? That’s hard to say. On the one hand, Batman’s armor replicated a man’s muscular torso from the very first version worn by Michael Keaton, making nipples logical, if questionable. But imagining Tony Stark spot-welding two metallic nipples is a bit harder to justify. Either way, both Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark should stand side-by-side in superhero history. Not only as billionaire superheroes, but as two men who know nothing strikes fear into the enemies of Batman and Iron Man like decorative nipples.

About The Author

Andrew Dyce
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Screen Rant Editor Andrew Dyce was born in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Despite calling the vast nothingness of the Canadian prairies home (or perhaps because of it) film and television have been a passion since birth. As a graduate of the University of Manitoba with a degree in English Literature, Andrew has grown to appreciate the story and writing behind everything from blockbuster comic book movies to schlocky B-movie action.

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