Lucifer Morningstar’s 10 Best Quotes

Everything that comes out of Lucifer Morningstar’s mouth on the Netflix series Lucifer is pure gold, whether he is passively-aggressively (or blatantly) delivering an insult, saying something about how wonderful he is, being completely oblivious to the realities of the situation he’s in or commenting on the seemingly “normal” ways that humans behave.

It’s safe to say that every episode of the series thus far has contained at least one quotable moment from Lucifer, one of the few characters on Lucifer who will probably never die. But a few of the things he has said have particularly stood out as being memorable lines for varying reasons, whether based on context, hilarity, or substance. Interestingly, some of his best quotes aren’t humorous but rather prophetic lines.

10 “Excuses. They’re Like A**Holes. Everyone’s Got One But Nobody Wants To Hear It.”

This completely personifies Lucifer’s personality, which is brazen, lacking filter, and brilliantly funny. While Lucifer changed in many ways from the first episode, he still largely remained his same charming self. He has no time for silly things like excuses for anything, particularly when Lucifer is happy to own up to everything he does himself, whether people like it or not.

What’s more, he doesn’t lie, so Lucifer can’t make excuses for anything if the excuses aren’t truthful. And even if he could find a way to bend a truth, he’d have no desire to do so. Thus, Lucifer really doesn’t understand why anyone would ever resort to excuses.

9 “They’ll Have More Opinions Than Twitter, But Heaven Has Never Been A Democracy.”

This quote shows that Lucifer is beginning to understand human behavior and Earth, even having joined social media. He knows what Twitter is and that it’s for, according to him in this quote, people to spew their many opinions on every subject imaginable. He spoke this line specifically about the other angels when Chloe asked if they would be OK with him taking over the job of God.

In Heaven, what God says, goes. And that’s that. Lucifer knew that all too well and understood that he probably wouldn’t get anywhere with his angel siblings by asking them their thoughts.

8 “For Dad’s Sake.”

It’s such a simple quote but adorably cute given that Lucifer replaces the word “God” in this common phrase with “Dad” since, well, God is his father. In another similar example, he said on a few occasions that he was “playing Me’s advocate,” using the word “me” in place of “Devil’s.”

Interestingly, even before people did not know Lucifer’s true identity, no one ever batted an eye, simply believing Lucifer was keeping up his strange metaphors about being the Devil.

7 “You Send Yourselves. Driven By Your Own Guilt.”

Lucifer said this when referencing what happens in Hell and how and why people are sent there. Lucifer continued to describe that while there, people are forced to “relive your sins over and over again.”

The most eye-opening part of this quote is when he adds, “…the best part…the doors aren’t locked. You could leave anytime. It says something that no one ever does, doesn’t it?”

6 “I Want You To Teach Me Your Secret. I Want You To Show Me How To Be A Tool.”

Lucifer really got a rise out of insulting Dan, largely because Dan was Chloe’s ex and Lucifer was clearly enamored with Chloe from the moment he met her. But also because Dan represented exactly what Lucifer was not, nor ever wanted to be: just an average guy. And, some might even say, not the smartest villain on Lucifer (even though Dan was technically more of a hero than a villain by the end.)

Said in the episode when Lucifer decided to mirror Dan to learn more how to be like him, he really intended it to be a compliment, of sorts. At least partially.

5 “Why Do Humans Think They Can Rectify One Evil With Another?”

It’s one of those very simple statements that seems completely logical but, when analyzing it, fans realize that Lucifer couldn’t be more right. And yet, despite how obvious the irony is in this, humans continue to follow the “an eye for an eye” mantra, seeking revenge on those who hurt them. Thus, they try to rectify one evil with another one.

Despite saying something that should have made people think, no one really paid much attention to Lucifer’s thought. But having lived in a world where evil was punished and that was that, Lucifer simply didn’t understand how humans did things.

4 “I Love L.A. Even The Homeless Have An IMDb Page.”

In the episode when a suspect who was questioned turned out to be a homeless man who had once been a struggling actor, Lucifer found it fascinating. He spoke these words to Chloe after the homeless man revealed his past work.

In the hilarious scene, Lucifer even disrobed and literally gave the man the clothes off his back, shocking Chloe when she turned around to find Lucifer naked in the middle of a store.

3 “Desire Shouldn’t Be Contained, It’s Unnatural.”

Not only does Lucifer have the power to draw out anyone’s deepest and darkest desires, but he also truly embraces all of his own, at least on the surface. After moving to Los Angeles, Lucifer began a life of excess, including women, money, drugs, alcohol, partying, and engaging in pretty much anything and everything that he deemed fun.

If Lucifer wants something, he takes it. And he encourages others to do the same. In Lucifer’s eyes, as he says in this quote, it’s natural for people to follow their desires, not keep them bottled up inside.

2 “It Hurts, Not Being Accepted For Who You Are.”

Despite being the actual Devil, Lucifer showed how he was able to relate to humans by noting that he understood how it felt not being accepted by others because of who you are or how you look. After first seeing his Devil face, Chloe ran off to Italy with Trixie, which marked one of many times fans felt bad for Lucifer. When he urged her to answer if she could accept him knowing who he really was and when he looked like he did with the Devil face, she honestly answered that she didn’t know.

Lucifer was understandably hurt. While he often seemed proud of who he was, particularly thanks to the abilities it afforded him, he still dealt with the same issues of acceptance that everyone else did.

1 “Tell Me, What Is It You Truly Desire?”

Of course, any fan of the show knows that this is Lucifer’s catchphrase, of sorts, that activates his special “mojo” and one of the coolest powers Lucifer has. The second he looks into someone’s eyes and speaks these words, they instantly fall into a trance and reveal their deepest, darkest desires to him.

It has proven to be a valuable tool in his police consultancy work while also revealing some hilariously strange fantasies that had nothing to do with the case at hand, like the one security guard who desired to be a professional dancer (and got his wish granted, thanks to Lucifer.) Nonetheless, the eyes and menacing smile are signatures of Lucifer, but they’re nothing without this phrase.

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