Mad Men: Roger Sterling’s 10 Most Epic One-Liners

When thinking of the word “boss”, Roger Sterling from Mad Men usually comes to mind. His character is a true leader who represents the “ideal man” of the 1960s, even giving the one and only Don Draper a run for his money. His character is loaded with witty one-liners that provide a good source of comic relief on the rather serious AMC drama created by Matthew Weiner.

Roger Sterling offers a load of sophistication and swagger on Mad Men that simply cannot be matched. So without further ado, let’s take a look at some of Sterling’s best lines that will make you want to binge the entire series all over again.

10 “My father used to say this is the greatest job in the world, except for one thing: The clients.”

When it comes to working at any job from a bustling ad agency on Madison Avenue to a quiet bookshop in Portland, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the glamour of it all until you are forced to deal with one thing… people!

Whether it’s clients or customers, it’s easy for people to get demanding with what they pay for. Although it makes sense that they would want to get their money’s worth, it can often be a total headache for whoever is serving them. Even Sterling Cooper Advertising Agency isn’t all glitz and glam once they must get down to business and face the wrath of stubborn clients.

9 “Nobody knows what I’m doing. It’s good for my mystique.”

One of the most intriguing aspects of the men in Mad Men is their undeniable mystery. Both Donald Draper and Roger Sterling manage to keep us guessing with what exactly it is they’re up to, yet Sterling has enough of a sense of humor to be blunt about his desire to come across as fascinating.

What makes Roger Sterling such a suave and engrossing character has everything to do with his ability to say whatever is on his mind without much regard for the consequences it can create. Yet, for Sterling, it’s safe to say there are no consequences because he pretty much holds New York City in the palm of his hand (the other hand is grasping a glass of Smirnoff vodka, of course).

8 “Have A Drink, It’ll Make Me Look Younger.”

Oh, Roger. How many times do you think he’s said those three magical words, “have a drink,” in his lifetime? Probably way too many times to possibly count. It is perhaps his most notable way of greeting people, and in his mind, a good stiff drink is the answer to all of his problems. Having problems with his wife? A drink will fix that right up for him. Problems at work? Someone get the man a glass.

Joan is engaged to another man? Time to drown those sorrows in vodka. Although Sterling associates drinking with fun, it is clearly destroying his life (and liver) along with the lives of all the people around him. Yet, to keep things light, Roger uses charming little one-liners like this one.

7 “Well, I gotta go learn a bunch of people’s names before I fire them.”

These words are spoken like a true boss. Nobody would utter a line like this unless they were in the highest position of power, and Roger is currently standing on the top of the world as he says these words. It shows what kind of person he is, the kind of man who doesn’t have time to learn the little details.

He is a “big picture” kind of guy, which is one of the reasons he aims so high when it comes to his goals and ambitions.

6 “Who Cares?”

This was Sterling’s simple response to Don’s inquiry, “let me ask you something. What do women want?” The line wouldn’t fly with us ladies in 2019 (or ever), but you have to admit it’s a hilarious one-liner because of how on par it is with Sterling’s character.

Whether he’s dealing with men or women, Sterling doesn’t discriminate with how little he cares about their feelings. He doesn’t care who you are and he won’t give a damn about what you want. It’s all about what he wants at the end of the day, and that is that.

5 “I feel like I should make a speech: Get back to work.”

Roger Sterling is not the kind of man to waste time with “emotions” and “pep talks”. Who has time for those things? Not Roger, that’s for sure. He is a man of his generation, which means he is all about business and getting things done with no time for “feelings.”

Even Don has more emotion than Sterling, and that’s truly saying something! Despite how aloof Sterling might come across, there is definitely self-awareness in his words. Roger knows he isn’t the type to place a gold star on all his employees’ foreheads, yet he is also able to make fun of himself for being so cold and strict.

4 “CAN I JUST FIRE EVERYONE?”

Proof that no-one can satisfy Roger Sterling with their work. If your work isn’t beyond perfect or legendary, you best believe you’re fired. Although we would probably hate for Sterling to be our boss because of how demanding he is, it’s pretty awesome to witness his sass from behind the safety of our screens.

In the words of the wise and all-knowing Nicki Minaj, “just killed another career, it’s a mild day.” On a mild day, Roger will do just that, because that’s the price of being a total boss who doesn’t have time to hold your hand through the process.

3 “I told him to be himself. That was pretty mean, I guess.”

Roger’s such a sweetheart, isn’t he? We’re always told how important it is to be authentic and true to yourself, yet in Roger’s mind, some people would be better off trying to be somebody else.

It makes us wonder whether or not Roger himself is being authentic about who he really is, or if he’s putting on a show for everyone to try and be the kind of man he thinks the world wants him to be. Perhaps we will never know what is really going on in that mind of his, but that’s exactly what he wants. As he’s said before, it’s all good for his “mystique”.

2 “I’d say ‘go to hell’, but I never want to see you again.”

Another example of Roger’s self-depreciation. What makes his character so iconic is his ability to be the cockiest smart-mouth in the room while at the same time he is constantly able to make fun of himself.

He knows he isn’t going to win any awards for being a swell guy with a heart of gold because, let’s face it, his name might be Roger but he is no Mr. Rogers when it comes to his kindness- or lack thereof. He is fully prepared to ‘go to hell’ for his actions, but for now, he’ll enjoy reveling in sin.

1 “We’re getting a computer. It’s gonna do lots of magical things, like make Harry Crane seem important.”

Isn’t it strange to think about how much has changed since computers have become an essential part of our lives? Back in the 1960s, getting a computer was some huge magical deal, and it’s interesting to see how entranced these characters are when it comes to the technological device “of the future”.

Roger Sterling is clearly ahead of his time, considering his awareness  that technology makes us seem more interesting and important than we actually are. In the modern world, our Instagram accounts, LinkedIn profiles, and Facebook posts seem to define us in a way that is certainly modified and exaggerated for a worldwide audience, usually failing to measure up to the truth.