Malcolm In The Middle: 10 Worst Things Reese Has Ever Done

The entire 7 seasons of Malcolm in the Middle were not enough time to grasp how the mind of Reese Wilkerson (brilliantly portrayed by Justin Berfield) works. Sure, he’s a dimwitted bully and a childish troublemaker with no sense of moral judgment whatsoever and decisions that would baffle even the most open-minded individuals. But it’s his hyperbolized dimwittedness that, juxtaposed with his brilliant brothers, helps give this show such a powerful entertainment factor.

Along with Reese’s dull mind, it’s his violence that takes center stage in the show; both to himself and everyone around him. Perhaps he’s too shortsighted to see the impact his actions will have on others? Or perhaps he feels as if he has something to prove? Whatever the case may be, Reese is one of the best characters of the show, and we’re happy we get to share this list of the top 10 worst things he’s done with you.

10 He beat up his schoolmates

Everyone knows Reese is a massive bully. It’s actually an image he’s worked very hard on building at this school, and something he sincerely takes pride in. And that is no surprise, either. Just imagine, if he’s been cruel to his brothers, what terrible things did he do to other kids?

Reese was the head bully in his school for a reason. He beat up some students and threatened them – especially the Krelboynes, a group of talented children in Malcolm’s class. The only time he’d actually defend them (like Stevie due to being paraplegic) was to give himself an excuse to pick on other bullies and establish himself at the top of the bully hierarchy.

9 He regularly tortured Dewey

Though being Reese’s brother wasn’t easy for any of the Wilkerson children, when Reese wasn’t in school, his favorite bullying target was definitely little Dewey. Whether it be physically or emotionally, Reese has mistreated Dewey countless times. For example, he bought Dewey his favorite toy for the sole purpose of seeing his reaction as he smashed it in front of him; Occasionally, he would spit in his cereal, too. Furthermore, Reese pretended Dewey didn’t exist and he mostly considered him as his personal slave. No wonder Dewey declared him the worst brother ever.

8 He broke into an ice cream truck

This one goes down in the episode “Traffic Jam.” It’s the height of summer and the sun is heating up the road that’s been jammed with cars for hours. The situation is hopeless for everyone, including the Wilkerson family. Luckily, the boys spotted an ice-cream truck, and together with all the children demanded they buy some. Spiteful, the owner didn’t want to sell them any, claiming that it’s illegal to sell ice cream in traffic. Reese wasn’t having it, and decided to break in and share the spoils with everyone. A noble act indeed, if it weren’t so ill-mannered.

7 He sabotaged other contestants in a cooking competition

When it comes to misbehaving, Reese is often as much a genius as Malcolm himself. For example, in the “Reese Cooks” episode of the second season, Hal forced him to attend a culinary class where Reese discovered his talent for cooking. He even entered a cooking competition.

But, just when Lois and Hal started to think that he’s becoming a better person, Reese disappointed them again. You see, his talent for cooking was real, but despite being leagues ahead of everyone else in the competition he still couldn’t help himself but cheat, ruining their dishes and watching them fail miserably. Why? “It was fun.”

6 He overdosed on experimental drugs

Reese is definitely not the type of guy to know when to call it quits. The season 6 episode “Stilts” features him discovering that he can earn money by taking experimental drugs. However, despite being obliged to take only one drug at a time, he went to different clinics and took at least dozens of them… simultaneously. He quickly realized his mistake, when he started lactating “little sticky bubbles” and having other undesirable side-effects. By the time his drugs began to wear off, he found himself riding a police horse… But, if you ask him, the $2500 he earned was well worth it.

5 He kidnapped a girl

Remember that time Reese attempted to pass his driving exam? He was stoked he would finally be able to drive a car, and has been mentally preparing for it for weeks. However, when a girl that’s been assigned to take the exam before him takes too much time, causing him to miss his turn, he goes berserk. As soon as the instructor left the car, he switched to the front seat and drove off with the girl still inside. His impatience to drive a car resulted in one of the coolest police chases ever. When he realized he was not going to escape, he went through the obstacle course in an impressive display of driving skill, before being maced and incarcerated. Don’t worry, he still got his driver’s license…as soon as he was let out of prison.

4 He made a toxic barrel

When Reese became a high school janitor, he was very disappointed to hear that he’d be employed for only a month. So he came up with the “brilliant” idea to make a mess that will be so “big and sticky and disgusting” that it would take at least 30 days to clean. He even recruited his grandma Ida to help him by providing her amputated leg as the secret ingredient to the mixture (yeah…). The plan was to put the barrel in the car and then stealthily remove it out of the trunk. Unfortunately, the barrel exploded while the whole family was in the car. Reese’s done a few things that are even worse than this, but none more disgusting.

3 He joined the US military

After finding out his girlfriend Beth cheated on him with his younger brother Malcolm, Reese ran off to join the US military without telling anyone. He was underage – only 17 years old – so he forged a fake ID (with the surname “Jetson”). In fact, his unique ability to completely “turn off” his brain came in extremely handy in the military, and made him the most obedient young recruit anyone’s ever seen. Considered an ideal serviceman, Reese was even sent to Afghanistan, which he deserted upon arrival. This decision will cause him some trouble in the near future.

2 He deserted the army in Afghanistan

While his family was worrying for him, Reese was out and about in the middle of war-infested Afghanistan – a military deserter at that. At first, he unwillingly wound up marrying an Arab guy who thought Reese was a woman – due to him wearing a burka and looking like one. After that, he abruptly escaped from him, meaning he never technically got divorced from his Arab husband.

Later, Reese ended up in prison because he made fun of one of the locals’ gods. To be precise, he said their deity looked like a giant monkey man. Some Hindu group put him in prison so Lois had to come to Afghanistan personally to bring him home.

1 That thing he did in “Reese’s Apartment”

The worst thing Reese has ever done happened in one of the episodes of season 5 – “Reese’s Apartment.” To this day, no one knows what was the unimaginable atrocity he did that prompted his parents to throw him out of the house. All we know is that cats were involved, and some victims had to evacuate their houses. In Reese’s defense, he could “name third world countries where stuff like that happens all the time!” Anyway, whatever he’s done was an “extreme, breath-takingly horrifying case”, to quote Dr. Lucille Armstrong. Though some things are better left unsaid, no one’s stopping you from scouring the forums for speculations…

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