Masters of Horror: 10 Best Episodes of the Anthology Series

Premiering in October of 2005, Showtime’s Masters of Horror was a series with the loftiest of ambitions: unite fright cinema’s creme de la creme to create the anthology series to end all anthology series. Created by Mick Garris, best known for being the number one adapter of Stephen King properties for the screen, the series only lasted for two seasons (eventually morphing into NBC’s Fear Itself, which, itself only lasted one season), proving that a legendary pedigree doesn’t always ensure sterling results.

Each one-hour episode consisted of a single self-contained narrative helmed by a famous horror director. Everyone from well-known maestros (John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper) to cult geniuses (Stuart Gordon, Lucky McKee) and international treasures (Dario Argento, Takashi Miike) was on deck for the series, and though most of these mini-movies are a far cry from their director’s greatest works, many are compulsively watchable showcases of their trademarks, distilled for the television format. Below are the ten of the best episodes, ranked.

10 Incident On and Off a Mountain Road (Dir. Don Coscarelli)

Ellen (Bree Turner) totals her car by colliding with a mysteriously abandoned vehicle parked on a mountain road, knocking herself out in the process. When she comes to, she encounters Moonface (John De Santis) a monstrous freak with designs to abduct her. Little does the killer know that Ellen’s husband was a survivalist who prepared her for just this type of dire situation.

Don Coscarelli (Phantasm) directs this horror thriller, which, despite its by-the-numbers story, features a one-two punch in the forms of genre icon Angus Scrimm in a supporting role and De Santis as the freaky killer.

9 The Fair Haired Child (Dir. William Malone)

Teenager Tara (Lindsay Pulsipher) is rejected by her peers and neglected by her mother. On her way home from school one day, she’s kidnapped and brought to a creepy, deserted house by Anton (William Samples) and Judith (Lori Petty), a married couple desperate to bring their son back from the dead by sacrificing teenagers to a demon.

With 1999’s House On Haunted Hill remake and 2002’s Feardotcom as his career “high” points, William Malone isn’t quite in the same league as most of the directors featured on Masters of Horror. However, “The Fair Haired Child” is a pleasant surprise: a macabre little fairy tale offering up ghoulish effects and lots of atmosphere.

8 Jenifer (Dir. Dario Argento)

After saving a disfigured woman from assault, Detective Frank Spivey (Steven Weber) takes her in. But as he grows sexually obsessed with her, she becomes increasingly feral, leading them to a remote cabin in the woods and a violent end.

Trying to find anything to like in Italian shock master Dario Argento’s work post-2000 is a fool’s errand, but “Jenifer” is a kinky, creepy, provocatively, and engagingly weird hour of television.

7 Homecoming (Dir. Joe Dante)

When political consultant David Murch (Jon Tenney) makes an offhand remark on a talk show that deceased soldiers could return from the grave to vote in the upcoming election, he gets more than he bargained for when they do indeed come back but are playing for the opposite political team.

Joe Dante’s satire is as broad as they come, but it plays a lot better now with some distance from the Bush-era political landscape it’s tilling.

6 The Black Cat (Dir. Stuart Gordon)

In 1840s Philadelphia, immortal master of the macabre Edgar Allan Poe grapples with writers block, alcoholism, and a malefic black feline that may either threaten his very life or fill him with creative fire.

From the criminally underrated Stuart Gordon (Re-animator), “The Black Cat” features Jeffrey Combs in what is essentially a dry-run for their lauded 2009 one-man stage collaboration, “Nevermore.” As one of the best-ever adaptors of both Lovecraft and Poe, Stuart Gordon’s “The Black Cat” is a classy and grounded affair, two words that you’ll never hear used to describe a single other Masters of Horror episode.

5 Sick Girl (Dir. Lucky McKee)

Ida (Angela Bettis) is a shy entomologist who receives a mysterious package from Brazil containing an unknown insect. When she tries to add it to her personal collection of creepy, crawly pets, the bug gets loose in her apartment, eventually biting her new paramour, Misty (Erin Brown), and causing a transformation that neither of them could have anticipated.

Lucky McKee (2002’s May) brings his trademark quirks to bear on this dark romantic comedy. One of the rare episodes where one can tell who helmed it even without seeing the credits.

4 Pick Me Up (Dir. Larry Cohen)

This is the story of two serial killers, Walker (Warren Kole) and Jim (Michael Moriarty), who pick up weary travelers on a desolate road.

Late rough n’ tumble New York filmmaker Larry Cohen’s final directorial effort features all of his trademarks (smart concepts, gallows humor, freewheeling camera work) and a wonderfully daffy performance by frequent collaborator Michael Moriarty. Like so many of Cohen’s movies, it shouldn’t work, but it does.

3 Deer Woman (Dir. John Landis)

Detective Dwight Faraday (Brian Benben) is thrown for a loop when a handful of bodies turn up covered in hoof prints and animal hair. As he begins digging, he hears a Native American legend about a half-deer, half-woman being who tramples men to death after seducing them, and, without any other leads to pursue, begins to question whether there may be some truth the wild tale.

John Landis (Animal House, An American Werewolf in London) brings his well-calibrated comedic stylings to this deliciously absurd folk tale.

2 Cigarette Burns (Dir. John Carpenter)

Bankrupt movie theater owner, Kirby Sweetman (Norman Reedus) is tasked by an eccentric private collector (Udo Kier) to track down the last existing print of a film believed to cause homicidal mania in anyone who views it in John Carpenter’s “Cigarette Burns.”

A despairing, self-reflexive, and unpredictably perverse meditation on film as an art and obsession, “Cigarette Burns” remains influential director John Carpenter’s absolute best work since the mid-90s.

1 Imprint (Dir. Takashi Miike)

Years after abandoning the love of his life, an American journalist (Billy Drago) returns to Japan in search of her. After being told that his lost love has been long dead by a disfigured prostitute, he implores the woman to tell him the story of her life and eventual passing.

“Imprint” is the only episode with the dubious honor of being stricken from Showtime’s live broadcast for being too extreme, which also lets you know just how special it is. Directed by Japanese cinema bad boy Takashi Miike (Audition, Visitor Q) “Imprint” is an obscene flurry of color and excruciating violence that overcomes its flaws by sheer force of its director’s unmistakable, uncompromising vision.

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