Modern Family: 5 Times Jay And Gloria’s Relationship Was Toxic (& 5 It Was Perfect)

Jay and Gloria’s love story was a big part of Modern Family, and while they had an age gap and personalities that didn’t seem very similar at all, they had a strong bond and loved being together. Fans remember them arguing on a regular basis, but it never seemed like they stopped caring about each other.

Their house was often the setting for family dinners and holiday celebrations, and Gloria definitely thrived on being part of the Pritchett/Dunphy family. But while many scenes point to Jay and Gloria having a wonderful relationship, there are times when their marriage seemed to be in a rocky place and full of problems.

10 Toxic: Jay Didn’t Know Anything About Gloria’s Culture

While there are a few parts of Gloria’s character that are confusing, fans definitely felt like they got to know her well after 11 seasons. She was always fun-loving and fashionable, and she enjoyed making an effort with her appearance, shopping, cooking, and being with family.

Even though Gloria and Jay clearly cared about each other, one thing always seemed problematic about their romance: Jay’s ignorance about Gloria’s culture. Besides sometimes making insulting jokes about her family, he didn’t seem to know much about her background, and this seems odd. Wouldn’t he ask more questions when they started dating?

9 Perfect: Jay Always Made An Effort With Manny

While sometimes Jay was frustrated by Manny and wanted him to act like a child instead of trying so hard to be a grown-up, for the most part, it always seemed like he made a big effort to be there for him.

This proves that Jay and Gloria had a wonderful relationship, as Jay knew that marrying Gloria meant being a father figure to Manny, and he was happy about it. Jay also knew that Manny and Gloria were very close, and he didn’t overstep too much. Sure, sometimes Jay made mistakes, like taking Manny to a horror movie that really scared him, but he did try his best.

8 Toxic: Gloria Felt Jay Didn’t Care About How He Looked

In season six, Gloria felt that Jay wasn’t dressing nicely or doing much to look good. She always cared about wearing makeup, doing her hair, and finding beautiful outfits to wear, so she wasn’t pleased about this.

Gloria played a prank of sorts on Jay by looking like a slob on the way to dinner with Jay’s clients. He realized that he liked when she tried hard and that he would try to look good, too. If a couple really loves each other, would they really focus on physical appearance so much? It would have been nice if they had discussed the non-physical traits that they loved about each other.

7 Perfect: They Had A Baby And Shared The Parenting Experience

It was sweet when Gloria and Jay had their son, Joe, and fans loved watching this adorable kid go from baby to toddler.

This storyline allowed the couple to experience parenthood together in a new and different way. While Jay was in Manny’s life while Manny was still pretty young, he wasn’t there when he was an infant. Having a newborn is definitely stressful and chaotic, especially with another child in the house and with such a big age gap between the kids, but Jay and Gloria handled it well.

6 Toxic: Their Dynamic Was Sometimes Too Old-Fashioned

Some of Jay’s words of wisdom weren’t relevant, as he could be an old-fashioned guy. His dynamic with Gloria often seemed like something out of the past, too.

For instance, Jay often complained that Gloria took too long to get ready, and he always wanted to get out of the house faster. This is pretty sexist and insulting, and it would have been better if he had respected the pride that Gloria took in her appearance and how much she enjoyed fashion and dressing well.

5 Perfect: They Spared Each Other’s Feelings

While Jay wasn’t always nice to his family members, he never wanted to hurt Gloria’s feelings, and this is one great thing about their love story.

Jay and Gloria had a perfect relationship because while they did fight a lot, they were also careful about each other’s feelings. When Gloria was pregnant with Joe, she snored a lot and very loudly. Jay was having trouble getting some sleep himself, but he waited a long time before telling Gloria the truth, as he didn’t want to come right out and say it.

4 Toxic: They Got Frustrated By Each Other Too Often

In the first season episode “Not In My House,” Gloria was upset about Jay’s dog butler statue, and she didn’t want it around. In season two’s “Regrets Only,” Phil got Gloria a karaoke machine, which Jay hated because Gloria didn’t have a very good voice.

It seems strange that if they really loved each other, they would be so mean to each other about these things. Why not let Jay have the statue but put it in a place that wasn’t the front hall? Why couldn’t Jay tell himself that Gloria loved to sing and that was all that mattered?

3 Perfect: They Tried To Make Life Stress-Free

While the Pritchett/Dunphy family seemed to celebrate every holiday together, Gloria and Jay planned on going away for Thanksgiving one year. When their trip didn’t work out, they thought that they would just hang out at home and not tell anyone.

Everyone can relate to the feeling of wanting a stress-free holiday, and Jay understood the allure of making life as peaceful as possible. It’s sweet that Jay and Gloria decided on this together, even if it didn’t work out and their family found out. They knew that sometimes, life got too busy and crazy, and it was okay to take a time out.

2 Toxic: They Got Jealous For Strange Reasons

There were many moments on Modern Family when Jay proved how much he loved his dog Stella.

Gloria felt that he cared about the dog too much, and in the third season episode “Phil on Wire,” she felt that they were too close. She was envious of his bond with the dog, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t love her. Jay also became annoyed that Gloria and Manny were close and got along well, and he should have appreciated how special that was. Gloria also got mad in the third season episode “Tableau Vivant” because Jay got along with a waitress at a diner, but she had no reason to worry.

1 Perfect: They Tried To Do What Was Best For Each Other

In the seventh season episode “Man Shouldn’t Lie,” Jay said that he wasn’t interested in making new pals. Gloria ignored him and asked another couple to come over. Gloria sometimes acted impulsively, but this was much better than some of her actions over the sitcom’s 11 seasons.

While perhaps she should have listened to him, she was trying to do the right thing, and she didn’t want Jay to be on his own. If he had his way, he would stay home all the time as he was a simple, quiet guy. Meeting new people wasn’t as bad as Jay thought, proving that his wife had his best interests at heart. While couples should respect each other, they can sometimes push each other out of their comfort zones, too.

About The Author

Aya Tsintziras
(1730 Articles Published)

Aya Tsintziras is a freelance writer who writes about pop culture and TV. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. She loves coffee, reading, working out, and watching TV. She lives in Toronto with her husband.

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