New Girl: 10 Of Winston’s Best Quotes

Though he isn’t a part of the New Girl pilot, it’s hard to imagine the series without Winston Bishop. Nick’s friend since childhood, Winston is in a unique position in the loft. He knows Nick better than anyone, is close with Schmidt despite them driving each other crazy, and becomes a confidante for Cece and Jess.

The early seasons of the series don’t see a lot of successful storylines for Winston, but that doesn’t stop him from inserting himself in the antics of his friends. Sometimes, he’s the straight man in a comedy situation, and other times, he’s got some of the most outrageous lines in a scene.

10 “‘Eye Of The Tiger’ Is The Greatest Song Ever Written. It Ended The Cold War.”

Winston’s first big storyline when he joins the series involves handbells. Jess has a group of kids she’s trying to reach through music in a season 1 episode, keeping them out of detention. Winston, at first weirded out by Jess bringing teenagers into the loft, takes to the handbells very quickly.

He decides to team up with the kids to help them in their performance, encouraging them to perform “Eye Of The Tiger.” The kids don’t initially know the song, so Winston offers up this quote as an explanation, which Jess is quick to point out isn’t true. Winston stands by his belief, and it’s clear that he really loves Rocky.

9 “If I Were Off My Rocker, Would I Take A Weekly Selfie With My Cat?”

Once Winston decides to keep Daisy’s cat Ferguson, his subplots become a bit more outlandish. Ferguson becomes his best friend while everyone else is busy with their romantic entanglements.

It’s definitely played for laughs that Winston is so involved with his cat, but eventually, everyone accepts Ferguson as a member of the loft. Cece even gets involved when a neighbor claims Ferguson is hers. So, yes, Winston might be out there, but his love for Ferguson is a great part of his character.

8 “They Call Me Prank Sinatra.”

Early in the series, the show reveals a surprising tidbit about Winston: he loves pranks. The trouble is, Winston is terrible at pulling them.

He thinks he’s great, worthy of a name like “Prank Sinatra,” but his pranking is wildly inconsistent. As Schmidt and Nick point out to him at different points in the show, his pranks are either way too big (like getting married), or way too small (like putting a blueberry in someone’s cereal). It’s one of the most entertaining running gags in the series.

7 “Do You Realize I Say Goodnight To You Every Night And You Never Say Goodnight Back? What’s The Problem, Nick? Do You Not Want Me To Have A Good Night?”

One of the major throughlines of the show is that the residents of apartment 4D all have a lot of growing up to do. In the case of Winston’s longtime friend Nick, much of that growing up revolves around his inability to express himself emotionally.

When Schmidt and Winston confront Nick about just that after Schmidt buys Nick a cookie because he’s thinking about him, Nick finds himself very confused as to just why his friends are so mad at him. Nick is there for his friends in a lot of ways, but when it comes to being thoughtful and expressing themselves, Winston and Schmidt definitely grow up faster than Nick.

6 “It’s All In Your Head, Man. It’s Always All In Your Head.”

Winston puts up with a lot of craziness in the loft. While he can go with the flow a lot of the time, he always makes sure to call Schmidt out on any nonsense.

When Schmidt thinks his boss is interested in him, Winston thinks he’s reading into normal conversations at work. Winston tries to point out that Schmidt has a history of reading into situations concerning women, but Schmidt, of course, doesn’t listen.

5 “Did The Cactus Tell You That? Is This One Of Those Fortune-Telling Cactuses?”

When his roommates jump to conclusions, Winston is quick to point out their ridiculousness. That’s exactly what happens when Nick gets a cactus from his girlfriend Julia in the first season.

Nick immediately thinks that the cactus means Julia wants to break up with him. Winston doesn’t understand that leap of logic and uses this comment to question him. While Winston is amused by the entire situation, Nick gets more and more caught up in it, leaving Julia voicemail after voicemail, until they actually do break up.

4 “Up Is The New Down, Man!”

When Winston finds out that Cece and Schmidt are hooking up in the first season, it’s not a secret he can keep to himself. After a few days, he blurts it out to Nick, despite Nick not wanting to know the secret in the first place.

At first, Nick is panicked to know the secret. Once he does, it really throws him for a loop. He can’t understand how Cece and Schmidt ended up together, and Winston voices his agreement that everything is all turned around. The two don’t get much time to discuss the secret though as Jess comes home right after and Nick cannot lie to her.

3 “Who Am I? I Am Theodore K. Mullins…”

Long before Winston has to develop an undercover persona as a police officer, he has his own idea for one. Theodore K. Mullins actually comes up a few times in the early seasons of the show.

For example, Winston pulls the Theodore persona out to get Nick out of a tough situation at the end of the first season. When Nick has been seeing multiple women at the same time, and two of them end up at the loft at the same time, Winston pretends to be Theodore to get the girls to leave. It works very well.

2 “You Will Not Build Her That Dresser. It’s Furniture. It Implies That You Will One Day Share It.”

For someone who is single for most of the second season, Winston has a lot of thoughts on relationships. In particular, he has quite a bit to say about the friendship between Nick and Jess in “Fluffer.”

Despite Jess seeing someone else, she spends a lot of time with Nick, and he never says no. He even accompanies her to pick up a new dresser and then decides to put it together for her. Winston tries to explain the slippery slope Nick is on, that it’s clear that Nick and Jess are in a relationship without the physical components, and they need to set boundaries. Nick takes offense, but it turns out that Winston isn’t entirely wrong as the two make things a little awkward in the loft when they dance around their feelings for each other for the rest of the season.

1 “You Were Denied A Cell Phone Because You Have The Credit Score Of A Homeless Ghost.”

New Girl‘s first season has one of the most iconic quotes of the show, courtesy of Winston. It’s another line aimed at Nick, but it really hits the nail on the head with Winston’s specific type of humor and Nick’s current life.

When Nick tries to get a phone, his credit score is essentially non-existent. After all, Nick doesn’t even have a bank account at that point. It’s concerning to Jess, but highly amusing to Winston — and the audience.

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