Norsemen: 10 Best Quotes of the Show

Norsemen is one of the most popular TV shows in Norway, and thanks to Netflix. Tapping into the country’s historical past, the series manages to find humor in the grim realities of life during the Viking Age. Some of the jokes may be uncomfortable for modern audiences, but there is no denying that the series is brilliantly written and has an amazing cast who brings every scene to life.

Of course, it does not hurt that the dialogue is sharper than northern steel. The hilarious jokes and ridiculous interactions of the main characters make Norsemen one of the most quotable comedies on TV.

10 “The Sea Giveth And The Sea Taketh Away. And This Time The Sea … Tooketh … My Sword.”

Orm is the perfect comedic character for a series set in the Viking Age. As the younger brother of Chieftain Olav, he is a high-born leader who possesses none of the heroic values expected of someone of his status.

Whenever Orm attempts heroics, he fails miserably, as this quote makes quite clear. A warrior should not lose his sword to the sea so easily. But then again, if Orm were a warrior, the show would be a lot less funny.

9 “There’s No Better Feeling Than Doing Backbreaking Work For Someone Else Without Pay.”

Kark is a thrall (slave). He also seems to genuinely love his lot in life. His optimism and sunny disposition make him love the hardships of toiling in a Norse village, while he seems to have a masochistic streak that allows him to take joy even in cruel whippings.

Interestingly, this quote of his has already been turned into a meme to complain about the harsh working conditions of late-stage capitalism, which fans of Norsemen apparently find similar to the hardships of Viking Age thralldom.

8 “You’re Just In Time To Be Too Late.”

Arvid challenges a farmer named Olvar to single combat. After killing Olvar, Arvid acquires the farmer’s land, possessions, and wife. To his surprise, his new wife, Liv, is a shrewish nag.

After Liv drags Arvid away from a war-band of his friends who are preparing to hunt down a runaway slave, he returns just in time to be too late.

7 “Nine Out Of 10 Concerns Are Completely Unfounded.”

This line is a truism frequently repeated throughout the show. Unfortunately, the truism is almost never true, and any time someone decides that a particular concern is unfounded, trouble immediately finds them, proving that they absolutely should have been concerned, after all.

This line of thinking results in some hilarious, and tragic twists of fate.

6 “All We Can Do Is Just Follow The Sun. Since The Sun Always Points South, We Just Have To Trust It.”

Normally, people think of the sun’s path as moving from east to west across the sky, while most people in the Northern Hemisphere consider the fixed point in the sky to be the North Star.

However, since Norway is so far to the north, the sun seems like it is always to the south, by comparison, making this line funny. Of course, the sun is not a fixed point, so using it for guidance is a pretty terrible idea.

5 “Where’s That Miserable Slave Who’s Responsible For My Fireplace? It’s Freezing In Here. I Like It More Temperate.”

Chieftain Olav makes his displeasure known when his newest slave runs away and therefore fails to properly tend to the fire.

The phrase “it’s freezing in here” is a common phrase that pretty much everyone has heard. But Olav is in the cold north of Scandinavia, so warmth is not his goal. He just wants things to be temperate.

4 “I Think My Assicle Has Fallen Asleep.”

Orm is insistent that “assicle” is a real term. At different points in the show, it seems that what part of his body he is actually describing here varies, but whatever the case, it is a safe bet that “assicle” won’t enter into common usage anytime soon.

3 “It’s Not About The Size Of The Boat, But The Motion Of The Ocean.”

As is fairly obvious, this quote does not refer to a boat, but rather to one’s sexual prowess and that “size” is not what counts.

One thing that can be agreed upon here, is that when a “boat-owner” insists that the size of his boat is not what’s important, there is a pretty good chance that they fear their boat is not big enough to successfully go on a voyage, so to speak.

2 “You Know, I Dig You. I Always Have And Always Will. And I Admire You For What You Have Accomplished … So I Thought I’d Challenge You To Holmgang.”

Holmgang is the Viking Age practice of dueling someone in single combat. When Arvid tells a wealthy farmer, Olvar, that he respects how he has built up his wealthy farmland and acquired a beautiful wife, this is followed by a challenge to holmgang.

Arvid is a warrior. He also has nothing of value aside from his sword, the armor he wears, and the tent he sleeps in. So he has nothing to lose and everything to gain.

1 “We’ve Come So Far Technologically That We No Longer Know How Anything Works. Everyone Sends Ravens, But No One Knows How It Really Works. If All The Technology Suddenly Disappeared, We’d Be Pretty Much Left High And Dry.”

This is a brilliant piece of humor. A modern sentiment today is that people fear how dependent humanity has become on smartphones, cars, and electricity.

However, the Viking Age had plenty of technology of its own, from highly trained animals to iron tools — items which might have been around in the Dark Ages, but which most people certainly could not accomplish in this day and age.

About The Author