Psych: 10 Best “Gus, Don’t Be…” Lines, Ranked

The friendship between lifelong best friends and business partners Shawn Spencer and Burton “Gus” Guster is arguably the heart of the beloved fake psychic crime dramedy series Psych. As a result of being friends for their entire lives, Shawn and Gus have quite a few inside jokes, behaviors, rituals, and downright odd shared stories and experiences.

One of the most commonly used of these shared best friend jokes involves Shawn addressing a doubting Gus with a disbelieving “Gus, don’t be…,” followed by one ridiculous comparison after another. Psych is a series filled with pop culture references and pitch-perfect humor, but these jokes are always some of the best.

10 “Gus, don’t be a myopic chihuahua.”

Sometimes, there are lines that take a viewer right out of a show. Not in any sort of jarring out of character way, but simply because of how utterly ridiculous they sound. That happens to be Shawn Spencer’s specialty, and few lines offer a clearer example than this one.

In the third season episode “There Might Be Blood,” Shawn levels Gus with the accusation, “Gus, don’t be a myopic chihuahua.” Gus might have some prickly chihuahua qualities at times, but it’s the visual of a chihuahua with glasses that really just takes this comparison to the next level.

9 “Gus, don’t be the American adaptation of the British Gus.”

It is a truth more or less universally acknowledged that the American adaptations of British originals – whether television or film – are never as good as the original.

That’s the truth behind this particular line from the season four episode “High Top Fade Out,” as Shawn tells Gus, “Gus, don’t be the American adaptation of the British Gus.” This line becomes even funnier seasons later when Shawn and Gus travel to England and find themselves trying to adapt to British customs.

8 “Gus, don’t be the night your dad fell asleep inside your mom.”

Nothing can stop Shawn from making jokes at his best friend’s expense, even 14 years after the series premiered. That’s clear from the fact that the “Gus, don’t be…” trend continues even in the second Psych film, Psych 2: Lassie Come Home, which was released in 2020.

Shawn and Gus bicker with each other as much as they ever have in this movie, and Shawn isn’t afraid to get playfully ugly and personal, including the barb, “Gus, don’t be the night your dad fell asleep inside your mom.”

7 “Gus, don’t be the second time ever I saw your face.”

Sometimes, Shawn’s jokes at Gus’s expense have a particular popular culture reference that they’re inspired by or outright parodying. In the season seven episode, “100 Clues,” which is also the series’ nostalgia-filled 100th episode, Shawn takes some inspiration from a classic oldies love song.

Best known for the version by Roberta Flack, “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” is a deeply moving love song that Shawn somehow turns into an absolutely perfect and snarky remark: “Gus, don’t be the second time ever I saw your face.”

6 “Gus, don’t be exactly half of an eleven-pound black forest ham.”

While popular culture might drive a lot of Shawn and Gus’s conversations, sometimes, they’re really just driven by nothing more than randomness and jokes that make no sense – especially when Shawn is involved.

The third season episode “Six Feet Under the Sea” features one such joke. To be fair, food is also a major part of Shawn and Gus’s friendship, as they spend quite a lot of time eating, looking for food, fighting over food, and reminiscing over food. But that still doesn’t make this line make any sense: “Gus, don’t be exactly half of an eleven-pound black forest ham.”

5 “Gus, don’t be the Mystery Mouseketool.”

Though Shawn and Gus are lovers of all things 1980s, having grown up during that decade in particular, the series regularly proves that both men are men of varying levels of popular culture knowledge – even when it makes no sense for them to know any of them.

The sixth season episode “Shawn Rescues Darth Vader” shows just how childish some of their interests can be, as Shawn references the early 2000s series Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and its episode structure and plots when he tells Gus, “Gus, don’t be the Mystery Mouseketool.”

4 “Gus, don’t be this crevice in my arm.”

As should be more than clear by now, Shawn and Gus are pretty weird people with a pretty weird friendship. It’s what makes them great characters, and what makes Psych such a weird and wonderful show.

But sometimes, there’s just no way to look past the weirdness and randomness that makes them just as funny as they are. In the third season episode “Truer Lies,” Shawn leans fully into the random and nonsensical, telling Gus, “Gus, don’t be this crevice in my arm.”

3 “Gus, don’t be the iiiit in ‘wait for iiiit.'”

Shawn and Gus have their fair share of inside jokes and catchphrases, but it’s not every day that they’re able to use more than one catchphrase and joke at the same time.

The fourth season episode “A Very Juliet Episode” provides perhaps the best example of what these two are capable of when they put their mind to it. In terms of comedy, at least. Combining the “Gus, don’t be…” and their shared iconic “Wait for iiiit” refrain, Shawn implores, “Gus, don’t be the ‘iiiit‘ in ‘Wait for iiiit.'”

2 “Gus, don’t be a gooey chocolate chip cookie.”

Sometimes, it’s hard to beat the classics. It might be one of the first times that Shawn uses the “Gus, don’t be…” schtick in the series, but it’s arguably still one of the best jokes in the series, due to the randomness and the accuracy all at once.

In the first season episode “Poker? I Barely Know Her,” while they have a conversation in Psych headquarters, Shawn levels Gus with this one: “Gus, don’t be a gooey chocolate chip cookie.” Gus’s confused and maybe even slightly offended facial expression in response just seals the deal.

1 “Gus, don’t be the only black lead on a major cable network.”

No matter how weird and random Shawn, in particular, might be, it’s amazing just how aware of reality he is sometimes. Even more amazing when he gets to be aware of the audience’s reality, by breaking the fourth wall as the show so rarely does.

But never does it do so in a better way than in the fifth season “In Plain Fright.” As Shawn so smartly observes in this episode, “Gus, don’t be the only black lead on a major cable network” – which, of course, actor Dulé Hill was at the time the episode aired.

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