Psych: Woody’s 10 Most Hilarious Quotes

Santa Barbara Coroner Woodrow “Woody” Strode may have been a late addition to the world of Psych, but there’s no denying that he’s arguably one of the series’ weirdest and most memorable characters. As expertly portrayed by the comically gifted Kurt Fuller, Woody is a character who is always too much at all times.

And yet, it’s impossible to get enough of him, even when he crosses every line and oversteps every boundary. He’s a baffling combination of crass and innocent, and all of his interactions with every member of the series’ primary cast are always guaranteed to bring a laugh.

10 “Don’t worry, I’ve been playing with dead things since I was a toddler.”

In his role as the Coroner (and later Assistant Coroner) for the Santa Barbara Police Department, Woody often gets far too involved and far too close for comfort with all of the dead bodies that come his way.

The show keeps things as PG as it can when it comes to his involvement with the cadavers he analyzes. But Woody’s own behaviors raise plenty of questions about his intentions, including his admission that he’s “been playing with dead things since [he] was a toddler.”

9 “Calm down, peaches. Come back to bed.”

One of the most memorable episodes of Psych is “Last Night Gus,” which allows the series to pay homage to The Hangover. During the episode, the main group of guys find themselves unable to remember what they did the night before, only to find themselves involved in a murder investigation.

A hilarious subplot within the episode finds Woody and Carlton “Lassie” Lassiter waking up snuggled up together, and left to wonder exactly what transpired between the two of them the night before.

8 “Unless I’m being tickled. Then all bets are off.”

As already mentioned, Woody has a real hard time knowing when to keep from over sharing. He often offers his opinions and most candid thoughts at the least appropriate moments. Apparently, that tendency to over share can get even worse than what viewers are already used to.

According to Woody, he’s even less in control of himself, and all of his faculties, when tickling is involved. Thankfully, the show never subjected Woody – or viewers – to that possibility.

7 “I know Gus well.” “Shawn.” “Him too. Never thought of them as brothers though. Bit of a game changer.”

Though Woody usually means well, he’s not always the most aware of what’s going on in the world around him. That never happens in a more hilarious manner than during a conversation with Henry Spencer about his son…who Woody believes is Gus.

Shawn and Gus have been the best of friends ever since they were children, and maybe even since they were infants. So it’s not entirely out of the ordinary for Woody to believe that they’re siblings. But it still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense for him to make his first logical leap either.

6 “I know, TMI: Tell More Information.”

Speaking of Woody not being the most socially aware person in the world, look no further than his lack of understanding when it comes to chat speak as yet another example of that fact.

Much in the same vein as Phil Dunphy of Modern Family failing to understand what “WTF” stands for, Woody apparently believes “TMI” means “Tell More Information.” Given his love of talking too much, and going entirely too in depth on the worst subjects, that’s not a surprise at all.

5 “Look, I don’t care if we did kill this guy. I’m just happy to be a part of it.”

Woody eventually becomes a major player in the world of Psych, but he’s also clearly not part of the main friendship group for most of the series’ run.

That tendency to be excluded, either intentionally or unthinkingly, clearly plays a major part in his excitement whenever he’s actually looped into any episodic adventure – even if it means the friendship group may have killed someone. The episode “Last Night Gus” isn’t just a real highlight for Psych but for Woody’s character and his bizarre humor, too.

4 “It’s a new look I’m going for. I call it the snoafer: business on the left, party on the right. It’s like a footwear mullet.”

There’s no easier way to put it: Woody is weird. Period. End of story. But that’s what makes him such a great character. With a bizarre range of habits and tendencies, Woody would be a lot to handle if he were either a real person, or the series’ main character.

But as a key supporting player, Woody is absolutely perfect, and his many oddities are all the more welcome because of that. So yes, Woody’s idea of the “snoafer” might not be the best concept in the world. But only Woody could think up this “footwear mullet,” and that’s what makes it great.

3 “I can’t die. I have 43 Twitter followers who depend on me.”

The season eight episode “Someone’s Got A Woody” finds poor Woody being held captive in the morgue, even as he works to help prove his abductor’s innocence. At many times throughout the stressful saga, Woody is also fearing for his life, even pleading desperately with his captor and the episode’s villain.

Well, perhaps desperately isn’t the right word. Woody acknowledges that he has a daughter he’s worried about, but it’s really the “43 Twitter followers who depend on” him that cross his mind when he’s worried this might be it for him. And really, that says everything someone needs to know about Woody.

2 “Don’t pick up.”

The season seven episode “Office Space” is another memorable episode in the series’ run. It’s also one that finds Woody being pulled into the action – albeit not as willingly or successfully as before.

After Gus and Shawn are implicated in yet another murder scene, they scramble to cover up the evidence which Woody is already all too keenly aware of. Shawn and Gus try to convince Woody to keep quiet, but Woody warns them that he will tell anyone who he comes across. In fact, Woody was already calling someone on his cell phone: Shawn. Woody’s whispered warning – “Don’t pick up” – is easily one of the series’ best line deliveries.

1 “I’m the assistant coroner, b*tch!”

Due to the intense love and fandom of Psych fans (known as Psych-os) all around the world, Psych has evolved from being a series to being a franchise that shows no sign of slowing down.

Woody has appeared in key roles in both Psych the Movie and Psych 2: Lassie Come Home, but it’s one particular moment in the first film that ranks at the top of the list when it comes to his best quotes. In a heated confrontation toward the end of the film with one of the movie’s villains, Woody identifies himself: “I’m the assistant coroner, b*tch!”

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