Schitt’s Creek: 10 Best Quotes From The Series Finale

Schitt’s Creek bid a fond farewell to its fans following its sixth and final season. Things end on a high note for all of the Roses. But even as the family goes their separate ways, they are closer than ever.

“Happy Ending” is the perfect title for the series finale which centers around the long-awaited wedding of Patrick and David. “Happy Ending” is both sentimental and hilarious. Here are the 10 best quotes from the series finale.

10 “I’ve Woken Up In A Black Mirror Episode.”

David wakes up to find his dream wedding is quickly becoming a nightmare. Thanks to an unexpected downpour, David is bombarded with bad news about his big day, and in typical David fashion, he doesn’t exactly take the setbacks in stride.

“I’ve woken up in a Black Mirror episode.” Netflix’s science fiction series does serve up unexpected twists, but the comparison draws the line there.

9 “He’s A Haikuist!”

David’s wedding plans are kept largely under wraps until they all begin to fall apart. David’s choice of an officiant is someone whose sole means of transportation is something that peaked in popularity in the late 19th century.

“He’s a haikuist!” Would the ceremony have been comprised of unrhymed verses? David’s desire to be so trendy leads to a completely absurd outcome.

8 “We Have Money Now, And The Last Thing I Want Is To Leave Town With A Cheap-Ass, Soggy Wedding.”

Johnny struggles most throughout the series when he can’t provide for his family, but David’s botched wedding gives him a shot at redemption.”We have money now, and the last thing I want is to leave town with a cheap-ass soggy wedding.”

Johnny arrives in Schitt’s Creek broke, but he’s going out in style  Although he could downplay his brutally honest assessment of the day’s potential outcome.

7 “He Can Be Very Cruel, But It’s All Fear-Based, Dear.”

Maternal instinct might not rank at the top of Moira’s many gifts, but she knows her children better than they think. Seeing Alexis down and out, Moira assumes her daughter has endured an attack by her groomzilla brother.

“He can be cruel, but it’s all fear-based, Dear. So please don’t take it personally.” Moira nails one of David’s biggest vulnerabilities. He turns to sarcasm when he’s vulnerable which is almost his perpetual state of being.

6 “But You Wouldn’t Be The First Hostage To Fall In Love With Their Captor.”

Of all the Roses, Alexis and David have always been the most content living in Schitt’s Creek. This can be attributed to more than their love lives: they finally get the closeness to their parents they’ve been craving their whole lives.

When Alexis admits to Moira she’s kind of happy the Roses lost their fortune, Moira has some trouble relating. “Well, I’m happy you and your feelings are so acquainted. But you wouldn’t be the first hostage to fall in love with their captor.”

5 “I Just Assumed You Knew What You Were Paying For!”

Most of the finale revels in a subdued sentimentality, but David’s happy ending massage is pure comedy. For someone who’s so sexually fluid, it isn’t surprising David would just go with it, assuming this is a new facet to Patrick’s nurturing instinct. “I just assumed you knew what you were paying for! I was both shocked and impressed.”

This mix up plays into the episode title as does David’s vows and the general contentment of the characters as they embark on new adventures.

4 “All I Did Was Leave An Envelope Full Of Cash And A Note That Said To Take Very Good Care Of You.”

Patrick remains delightfully clueless compared to his cynical husband to be. He’s shocked to learn that David wouldn’t consider a sex act with a stranger wildly inappropriate, assuming he has his partner’s blessing. Which, as it turns out, he kind of does.

“All I did was leave an envelope of cash and a note that said to take very good care of you. And now that I’ve said the words out loud, I can see how a certain kind of person would interpret that the wrong way.”

3 “Okay, Marcia Clark? Court’s Adjourned For The Day.”

Three’s usually a crowd except when it comes to Stevie, Patrick and David. She often teams up with one to antagonize the other.

As David and Patrick argue over David’s massage with benefits, Stevie is front and center, playfully stoking the fires of discontent which only serves to irritate David. “Okay, Marcia Clark? Court’s adjourned for the day.”

2 “Everyone Is Gonna Think We’re Getting Married To Each Other.”

Alexis comes a long way from season 1 to season 6, but she remains delightfully dim-witted in many respects. She buys a beautiful white dress, assuming the veil is a “headdress” that puts the ensemble over the top.

The fact that it’s a wedding dress eludes her, and her outfit inadvertently implies that her relationship with her sibling might be a little too close. “You’re walking me down the aisle in a wedding dress. Everyone is gonna think we’re getting married to each other.”

1 “Oh, Someone Has To Hold It Together.”

Moira is the least affected by her imminent departure from Schitt’s Creek, but she winds up showing her affection for the town. Moira is unmistakably emotional during Patrick and David’s ceremony, but she always overestimates her acting ability.

“Oh, someone has to hold it together. There’s a time and place for sentimentality, and your only son’s wedding day is hardly the moment.” Moira does express those feelings of tenderness and nostalgia. There’s no doubt the Roses love one another, they just do it in their distinct ways.

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