School Of Rock: 10 Funniest Lines We Still Quote Today

School of Rock is a 2003 film that has seen much success and appreciation since its theatrical release. This includes a Broadway stage musical with music by the one and only Andrew Lloyd Webber, along with a Nickelodeon TV series which follows the same concept and the same set of characters from the original film.

School of Rock centers around a lazy yet passionate man named Dewy Finn (Jack Black) who takes on a substitute teaching gig in order to pay the rent. When he discovers how talented his students are as musicians, he decides to teach them all about the power of rock-n-roll and eventually forms a band with them. Perhaps the best part about the film comes from the hilariously brilliant lines spoken by both the students and Mr. S, himself. With that in mind, let’s take a look back at the funniest quotes from School of Rock that we still can’t help but still quote today!

10 YOU’RE TACKY AND I HATE YOU

This line is said by Billy after Mr. S asks them to “stick it to the man”. In this case, Mr. S is “the man”, and he wants the children to give their best shot at insulting him. All the insults are hilarious, but nothing beats the works of Billy with his sassy line “you’re tacky and I hate you”, which he says long after Mr.S instructed them to throw out insults. The fact that people still quote this line 16 years since this film’s release just proves how much of an absolute classic School of Rock is.

9 WOULD YOU TELL PICASSO TO SELL HIS GUITARS?

This line is said at the beginning of the film as we are being introduced to Jack Black’s character, Dewy,  his personality coming into full view for the first time. After playing a gig with his bandmates at some dingy looking venue, he attempts to crowd surf by diving into the audience. Instead of being met with dedicated fans willing to endure his crowd surfing attempts, he is met face to face with the floor.

This transitions into a shot of him smooching in his friend Schneebly’s apartment, who attempts to get him to pay his share of the rent that’s due. He suggests Dewy sells one of his guitars for some extra cash, and Dewy’s response is hilarious, perfectly setting up what his character is like as a whole. What he probably means to say is would you tell Picasso to sell his paint brushes, but we appreciate his spirit (and will give him a bit of a pass considering how hungover he is in this scene).

8 I HAVE A HANGOVER. WHO KNOWS WHAT THAT MEANS?

This is one of the first lines Dewy says to his students as he settles into the classroom while posing as Mr. S. It is a line that causes many laughs from audiences who couldn’t possibly imagine a teacher from their childhood being this brutally honest with a classroom full of students, who most of which have no clue what a “hangover” even means.  The responses by the kids are almost funnier than Dewy’s shocking line. One of the students, Frankie, suggest it means he’s drunk. Another kid, Freddie, says it means he’s an alcoholic and that he’s got a disease. It’s so hilarious and only Jack Black could properly pull off this goofy yet lovable role with such force and commitment.

7 WHAT KIND OF A SICK SCHOOL IS THIS?

Mr. S says this line after he asks the kids what the “work performance chart” pinned to the wall is supposed to represent. We all know Dewy has the classic rock-n-roll attitude of a person who desperately wants to “stick it to the man” and cannot stand anything as remotely conformist as a “work performance chart”. In Dewy’s eyes, how well you do on a math test or a spelling bee does not come close to measuring your worth or intelligence. Grades are just another part of “The Man” and they are only used to keep students in check and well-behaved. In a way, Dewy has a point, and the kids surely appreciate his ability to refrain from the standard teaching methods that they are so used to.

6 YOU’RE A FUNNY LITTLE FOOTNOTE ON MY EPIC ASS!

“I don’t wanna hang out with wannabe corporate sellouts. I’m gonna form my own band. We’re gonna start a revolution. And you’re gonna be a funny little footnote on my epic ass!”

Dewy says this line to his bandmates after they decide to kick him out for being an embarrassment to the band. When it really comes down to it though, Dewy is just extremely passionate about rock-n-roll compared to the rest of them, and he couldn’t care less if he makes a complete fool of himself on stage, so long as he creates legendary music for his dedicated fans.

Dewy knows that rock-n-roll is all about knocking down conformity while the others in his former band just can’t seem to comprehend this. We can’t help but admire Dewy’s passion and his certainty of one day becoming a rock-n-roll legend!

5 MRS. LEMMONS IS ON CRACK, RIGHT KIDS?

Mrs. Mullins: “Sorry to interrupt, Mrs. Lemmons said that she heard music coming from the classroom…”

Mr. S: “Uh oh, it looks like Mrs. Lemmons is on crack, right kids?”

This line easily gets a laugh due to how absurd it is, especially in a classroom setting. It would be one thing is Dewy was uttering these lines while at a bar, but it’s another thing that he’s saying it in a classroom that is filled with young children, and it’s especially hilarious that he says it in the presence of Mrs. Mullins, who is known to be rather uptight. The fact of the matter is, Mrs. Lemmons really had heard the music of course, because these kids have been spending all of their time jamming out and learning about The White Stripes rather than the Quadratic Formula.

4 DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY FOOD?

“Does anyone have any food? No, you’re not gonna get in trouble. I’m hungry.”

This line is spoken just as Mr. S is introducing himself to the classroom. At first, he couldn’t care less about teaching these kids because clearly, he is just doing the job in order to pay rent. Yet once he hears how amazingly talented these kids are when it comes to music, he knows they’re all in business. Before coming to this realization, he is the same selfish and greedy Dewy we know him to be at the beginning, the kind that freeloads with little to no remorse and steals food from young children without a care in the world. In real life, this would be wildly inappropriate but in the movie, it’s just incredibly funny.

3 YOU’RE FAT, AND YOU HAVE BODY ODOR!

This line is said by Lawrence to Mr. S, once he asks the class to “stick it to the man”. It’s so funny because it’s such a personal dig compared to the rest of the insults (with the exception of “you’re tacky and I hate you” which is also Billy’s personal dig at his new substitute teacher). The fact that this line comes from Lawrence, who is perhaps the sweetest and most innocent kid in the entire classroom, makes it all the more perfect and downright hilarious.

2 YOUR KIDS HAVE ALL REALLY TOUCHED ME

“Your kids have all really touched me, and I’m pretty sure I’ve touched them.”

Most kids who watched the film never understood what made this mixup of words so unfortunate and at the same time hilarious until they watched it again as adults. Of course, Dewy doesn’t mean this line literally. He is trying to have a sincere moment and show his appreciation for all of the time that he has spent with these kids, yet of course, it all comes out wrong and it ends up causing a total stir from the parents and police officers in the room.  Couldn’t get more awkward than that!

1 I LIKE TO EAT. IS THAT SUCH A CRIME?

Tomika: “Why aren’t you on a diet?”

Mr. S: “Because I like to eat! Is that such a crime?”

These lines are exchanged during a scene with Tomika and Mr. S as he tries to help her feel less insecure about her weight. It’s a heartbreaking moment when we discover that Tomika has been hiding the fact that she’s an incredible singer because she doesn’t want to be in the spotlight, considering she thinks people will make fun of her for her weight. He then tells her all about Aretha Franklin, “another bigger woman”, who is the master of vocal talent. He says hilariously, “Everybody wants to party with Aretha!” and he’s not wrong (RIP Aretha!). In the end, how you look on the outside doesn’t matter in the slightest if you have talent and skill to blow everyone away.

What is your favorite quote from School of Rock?