Sex And The City: 5 Times We Felt Bad For Aidan (& 5 Times We Hated Him)

To many fans of Sex and the City, Aidan Shaw was Carrie Bradshaw’s true love and the antithesis to her sociopathic suitor Mr. Big. With his funky turquoise jewelry and wealth-deflecting charm, the corn-fed carpenter was everything his callous competition was not. He was a broad shoulder for Carrie to cry on and wasn’t afraid to share his own feelings as well.

But beneath his hulking sensitivity, Aidan could be manipulative and passive-aggressive when Carrie would have benefited from someone who was more direct. There’s a case to be made for whether or not Aidan was an agent of toxic masculinity or an abused craftsman Carrie used to wipe her designer shoes on.

10 FELT BAD FOR HIM: WHEN CARRIED CHEATED ON HIM WITH BIG

No one could fault Aidan for ending his relationship with Carrie after she came clean about the steamy affair she was having with Mr. Big behind his back. She led him to believe that their relationship was built on trust and open communication when it was really built on lies and deceit.

What made it worse was that Carrie tried to get Aidan to take her back on more than one occasion, using his relationship with mutual friends of theirs to get her an opening into his heart.

9 HATED HIM: WHEN HE GAVE CARRIE AN ULTIMATUM FOR SMOKING CIGARETTES

Each member of a relationship has habits that annoy the other person, but they usually aren’t grounds for a break-up and can be ignored or assuaged with compromise. Carrie’s habit of smoking cigarettes was apparently enough to drive Aidan to the door.

Aidan chose this habit as his hill to die on and forced Carrie to choose between smoking cigarettes and having him in her life. His love was contingent on whether or not she conformed to his preferred lifestyle.

8 FELT BAD FOR HIM: WHEN CARRIE MADE HIM FEEL BAD FOR BEING A HOMEBODY

Carrie was a city girl and Aidan was a country boy, and he made no deception about his preferences for staying in on a Saturday night. Carrie often whined and complained about him not wanting to go out, which resulted in her forcing Stanley to escort her to a club Aidan didn’t want to go to.

Carrie knew that Aidan was much more inclined to stay three days at his country cabin than three hours at a club with her, so she shouldn’t have tried to pressure him into fitting into her lifestyle on more occasions than he was comfortable.

7 HATED HIM: WHEN HE THREATENED TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE ELSE

The fact that Carrie and Big engaged in an affair behind Aidan’s back was wrong, but Aidan supposedly forgave her for her transgression on the proviso it would never happen again and she would commit herself to transparency in their relationship.

Unfortunately, Aidan may have forgiven but he never forgot. He heavily implied that he “might f**k a bartender from Scout as a form of retaliation”, which was passive-aggressive and emotionally manipulative. If he chose to take Carrie back, he needed to have the conviction to move on.

6 FELT BAD FOR HIM: WHEN CARRIED INVITED BIG TO THEIR COUPLES RETREAT

No doubt Aidan was looking forward to a bucolic trip to the country when he whisked Carrie away to his cabin for a long weekend, so viewers could imagine his ire when she invited her ex-boyfriend to join them.

Not only did Big arrive in a state of emotional duress, he proceeded to drink all of Aidan’s red wine to such an extent that Aidan had no choice but to let him stay the night. In the morning, Big proceeded to engage Aidan in a mud-wrestling fight, ending the weekend on a high note.

5 HATED HIM: WHEN HE MADE CARRIE FEEL GUILTY FOR HAVING AN ABORTION

During a particularly touchy conversation, Carrie lied to Aidan and told him that she’d never had an abortion, which caused him to breathe a sigh of relief and instantly make Carrie feel guilty for having had one.

This only served to highlight with blazing clarity that Aidan had a strong compunction to put the narrative that he has of his current partner onto his partner so that he can feel more secure in their relationship.

4 FELT BAD FOR HIM: WHEN HE BOUGHT CARRIE’S APARTMENT FOR HER & THEN SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM

When Carrie had frittered her finances away on thousands of dollars worth of designer shoes and could no longer afford her apartment, Aidan swooped in to save the day. He offered to buy her apartment so that her whole life wouldn’t be uprooted, and she thanked him by breaking up with him a few weeks later.

While some viewers thought it was callous of Aidan to serve her a 30-day notice to buy out his portion or vacate the premises, he could hardly be blamed for reacting so strongly given everything he’d done to help her.

3 HATED HIM: WHEN HE DIDN’T LISTEN TO CARRIE’S ANXIETY ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Aidan was a fan of tradition and had deeply ingrained family values. He looked forward to marriage, kids, and a white picket fence with Carrie, so much so that he didn’t take into consideration her anxiety surrounding their impending nuptials.

Despite Carrie communicating to him that she felt overwhelmed with the upcoming wedding, he was unrelenting in his enthusiasm, declaring that they should just get a “shotgun wedding” instead (as though that would make her feel any better). His desire to get married trumped Carrie’s completely.

2 FELT BAD FOR HIM: WHEN CARRIE WOULDN’T WEAR HIS RING

The fractured nature of Carrie and Aidan’s relationship eventually came to a head when Aidan discovered that Carrie hadn’t been wearing her engagement ring on her left ring finger, but rather on a necklace around her neck.

While it’s unfair for Aidan to give her yet another ultimatum over the gesture, viewers could empathize with his predicament. Carrie never intended to go through with the wedding, as evidenced by her inability to wear the ring in a way that would make her seem “taken” to the outside world, and therefore shouldn’t have led him to believe otherwise.

1 HATED HIM: KISSING CARRIE WHEN HE HAD A FAMILY

In the second Sex and the City movie, Carrie runs into Aidan in a bazaar in old Abu Dhabi, and their reunion leads to dinner and catching up. After dinner, the pair share a tender moment, culminating in him kissing her despite the fact that he’s married and has several children.

To make matters worse, Carrie was also married (to Big), and the situation jeopardized her ability to be open and honest with her husband. Why the writers decided to alter Aidan’s character from someone who abhors cheating to someone who becomes a cheater himself is also suspect.

About The Author

Kayleena Pierce-Bohen
(1342 Articles Published)

Kayleena has been raised on Star Wars and Indiana Jones from the crib. A film buff, she has a Western collection of 250+ titles and counting that she’s particularly proud of. When she isn’t writing for ScreenRant, CBR, or The Gamer, she’s working on her fiction novel, lifting weights, going to synthwave concerts, or cosplaying. With degrees in anthropology and archaeology, she plans to continue pretending to be Lara Croft as long as she can.

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