South Park: The 10 Worst Things Randy Marsh Has Ever Done

South Park is a classic gold mine of pop culture parodies and non-stop laughs that has been gracing our airwaves for over two decades now. One of the show’s biggest strengths is its ability to showcase unforgettable characters that you love to hate.

While it’s arguable that many of the characters on South Park aren’t good people, Randy Marsh seems to be constantly proving he is one of the worst. As Stan’s father, he is often putting himself into ridiculous situations. Despite the fact that he’s actually a geologist who holds a Ph.D., he is extremely absent-minded and oblivious. This usually drives some of the show’s most outrageous storylines. In fact, he does so many crazy things it’s hard to narrow them down. In season 15, episode seven, “You’re Getting Old,” Randy actually reveals that a lot of these things he does are because he’s unhappy in his marriage. But sometimes it seems as though he’s just not a good person in the end.

We’re counting down the ten worst things Randy Marsh has ever done. While there are certainly more than ten, and some of those are great contenders, here are the ones that we think are just non-excusable and downright terrible.

10 THAT TIME HE CAUSED A GLOBAL WARMING PANIC

Sometimes it can be hard to forget that Randy is actually a geologist, and is actually kind of smart. This happened in season nine. In episode eight, “Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow,” Randy sends the town into a panic after convincing them that the town’s flood is caused by global warming.

The flood is actually caused by Stan and Cartman crashing a boat. But Randy doesn’t look for a reasonable explanation and instead insists the global warming “ice age” is coming now. Everyone tries to flee the town at once, going into a major panic and causing chaos throughout South Park. In an attempt to figure out who is to blame for the flood, the people turn against one another. Thanks, Randy.

9 WHEN HE BECAME AN OBNOXIOUS, FIGHTING BASEBALL DAD

During season nine, episode five, “The Losing Edge,” the boys join a baseball team but realize quickly that they don’t actually like playing. Regardless, they make it to the championships. Randy becomes consumed by his newfound sense of pride in fighting the opposing teams’ dads in the stands. Each game, he picks out someone and picks a fight with him. He begins to work his way up the dad-fighting ladder, which is going on on the sidelines of each of the games. When he is arrested, he yells out, “What? Is this a communist country or something? I thought this is America!”

At the end of the episode, he gets the game thrown due to his major fight with another team’s Bat Dad. The kids are happy with this because they don’t actually like playing. But it’s the principle of Randy’s selfishness and obliviousness to his son’s baseball games that really matters here.

8 HIS… FECAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS

If nothing else, season 11, episode nine, “More Crap,” proved that Randy is a disgusting human being. He eats so much P.F. Chang’s Chinese food that he becomes constipated. When he finally does release his bowels, he discovers he has taken the world’s largest poop. But it turns out that the previous record holder is Bono (yes, that Bono) and he’s not impressed that someone beat his record.

Soon, it becomes a competition between the two. Randy puts his entire life and physical body through agony trying to beat Bono’s record-breaking bowel movement. At the end of the episode, it’s revealed that Bono is actually a large piece of poop and Randy takes home the title by letting out a BM so big he gets blasted up into the air.

7 WHEN HE MOVED HIS FAMILY TO A WEED FARM

In season 22, episode four, “Tegridy Farms,” Randy decides he’s had enough with the town of South Park after catching Shelly vaping and becoming fed up with the town’s vaping craze. So, he immediately moves the whole family to a marijuana farm called Tegridy Farms. There, he adopts a new lifestyle consisting of hemp-made everything.

His family, however, is forced to adjust to this new lifestyle, which none of them want. Stan complains to his friends that it now takes him an hour to get to school. He even tells Randy to his face that he hates the farm and hates him, but Randy is so caught up in his new life he takes this as a sign of father-son bonding. At this point in time, at the end of the 22nd and most recent season, the Marsh family is still living on Tegridy farms and the weed sales are still going strong.

6 HE SAID THE “N” WORD ON LIVE TV AND THEN PLAYED THE VICTIM

During season 11, episode one, “With Apologies to Jesse Jackson,” Randy makes it to the bonus round on Wheel of Fortune, where the category is “people who annoy you.” The answer is presented as “N_GGERS.” While the correct answer is “naggers,” Randy blurts out the n-word. You can fill in the blanks.

This not only makes Randy look like a racist idiot but gets Stan in hot water at school as tensions rise with Token. Randy tries to make things better by kissing the butt of Jesse Jackson, who tells him he is the “Emperor of Black People” and Randy believes him. After a point when Randy becomes known as the “N***** Guy,” he begins to play the victim and make it seem as though he is the one who has been wronged. He even takes his case to the Supreme Court to defend himself.

5 HIS OBSESSION WITH OBAMA THAT LED TO POOR LIFE CHOICES

The episode “About Last Night…” in season 12 coincided with the election of Barack Obama in 2008. To celebrate Obama’s victory, Randy and the other Obama supporters begin to rally in the streets and get really drunk. Throughout the course of the night, Randy picks a fight with his boss, tips over a cop car, and commits other acts of aggression.

He does so because he believes that Obama’s presidency means he’s secure forever. Randy’s drunken antics influence so much chaos in the streets that no one notices when Ike attempts suicide by throwing himself out his bedroom window. That’s pretty low.

4 WHEN HE TREATED HOMELESS PEOPLE LIKE ZOMBIES AND THEN SHOT A MAN

In season 11, episode seven, “Night of the Living Homeless,” the town becomes rampant with homeless people who are looking for extra change. Randy and a few other townspeople barricade themselves on the roof of the community center to escape.

Among these people is Glen, a city council member. Glen calls his wife to find out what’s going on down below. She informs him that because of the homeless people, property rates have gone down and their house is now being foreclosed. Randy, taking this to mean that Glen is now homeless, shoots him in the head with a shotgun. Killing someone because they’re homeless? Not cool, Randy.

3 THAT TIME HE BOUGHT A BLOCKBUSTER FRANCHISE AND WENT CRAZY

Season 16, episode 12, “A Nightmare on Face Time” sees Randy making a terrible business decision. He buys a Blockbuster for a cheap $10,000. Fast forward: It’s Halloween, and the kids are gearing up for their epic Avengers group costume. There’s just one problem – Randy won’t let Stan go trick or treating. He insists Stan has to stay and help out at the empty Blockbuster because he’s convinced he’s going to get busy. This ruins the whole group costume. The guys decide to use Kyle’s iPad to Face Time Stan so he can still come with them, but this results in the iPad being stolen when the kids try to embody the Avengers and stop a robbery.

Randy’s business mistakes send him on a descent into madness a-la-The Shining. He begins to go mad hallucinating, hearing voices that tell him to hurt Sharon and Stan.  When they get the iPad back, Randy uses it to go on a rampage in the town. This results in a police officer being shot and killed. He ends up sitting outside in the snow, frozen and defeated as his store burns down behind him.

2 WHEN HE GAVE HIMSELF CANCER JUST TO GET MEDICINAL WEED

This is probably one of Randy’s lowest points ever. In season 14, episode three, “Medicinal Fried Chicken,” the KFC is replaced with a medicinal marijuana store that caters to cancer patients. After learning he needs a medicinal marijuana prescription to actually buy pot from the store, Randy decides to give himself cancer to get one. He tries everything from tanning and smoking. Finally, he puts his genitals in the microwave to give himself radiation that causes testicular cancer.

He finally gets his wish and, even though he has to push his testicles around in a wheelbarrow, he’s happy because he gets to smoke pot legally. He brags to his buddies and the men in town about his “accomplishments,” and that he’s allowed to smoke pot in public now. This convinces everyone else to give themselves testicular cancer. Eventually, the testicles are all replaced back to normal size. However, at this point, he’s still inadvertently caused testicular cancer to spread in South Park and caused the demise of the medicinal weed stores for those who actually needed to use them.

1 HIS REACTIONS TO THE LOCAL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL SHOOTINGS

In one of the last season’s most prominent episodes, Stan’s wife, Sharon, is outraged that no one else cares about the number of deadly school shootings that are happening at South Park Elementary. No one seems to be phased that these shootings are happening regularly. Classes go on and the kids just ignore the shooters because they are so conditioned to this happening all the time. Sharon’s not impressed that no other parents seem to care and becomes increasingly emotional.

Randy claims that his wife is acting this way because of her period. Obviously, that’s not the right answer and it just angers her more. Then, Randy learns something else. It could be because of menopause. He learns that menopause could last years, and begins to play it as though he’s the victim for dealing with her. Instead of helping to prevent school shootings, Randy just thinks Sharon needs to get her emotions under control. For his own sake, not hers, of course.

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