SpongeBob SquarePants: 10 Funniest Mr. Krabs Quotes

Voiced by the talented Clancy Brown, Eugene Krabs has remained a staple of SpongeBob SquarePants for over twenty years since his first appearance in the pilot episode. Though he is a greedy and sometimes cruel miser, he makes up for it by being one of the show’s funniest characters.

With over twenty years of episodes, Mr. Krabs has stolen the show as either the star of his own episodes or simply providing a bombshell of a quote. Written for both adults and children alike, Mr. Krabs usually has quotes that appeal to both demographics, thus making him such an iconic character.

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

“Hello! I Like Money.”

Though Krabs’ greed has hurt others around him, there is still a charm to how greedy Mr. Krabs can be. As long as he causes no harm, Krabs’ greediness simply adds to the quirkiness that has made multiple generations love the character.

In The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, Mr. Krabs is opening the new Krusty Krab 2, as reported by Perch Perkins. Perch congratulates Krabs on the event and the old crustacean simply introduced himself on the news with, “Hello! I like money!” With a big grin on his face that adds to the hilarity and perfectly surmises the character of Mr. Krabs.

Squid’s Day Off

“Me Arms!”

The loss of limbs is taken rather lightly on SpongeBob SquarePants. One of the funniest reactions was when Mr. Krabs refuses to let go of a single dime inside a sink drainpipe and gets his hand stuck. He and SpongeBob try their hardest to pull the dime out but it just results in Krabs losing his arms, still attached to the sink.

As Krabs is sent flying backward, he yells out, “Me arms!” Not only is the way he screams it in such a pirate-y fashion funny but so is his face. It’s made even funnier when SpongeBob comments, “Oh no, not again.” This raises the question of how many times Krabs has lost his limbs.

Squeaky Boots

“Stop It! Stop It!”

Due to the squeak of SpongeBob’s new boots driving him up the wall, Mr. Krabs got rid of them overnight, thus breaking SpongeBob’s heart. Already, Mr. Krabs was far from rational in “Squeaky Boots” but it all comes to a head when he starts to hear the squeaks from everyone and everything in the Krusty Krab.

This scene harkens back to Edgar Allan Poe’s The Telltale Heart, as Krabs’ guilt makes him descend into delirium. It reaches a climax when Krabs screams out at the top of his lungs, “Stop it! STOP IT!” He admits to stealing the boots. Hearing Clancy Brown sound so goofy adds to the fun of watching Mr. Krabs completely fall apart, further showing the writing is meant for kids and adults alike.

Krusty Love

“Awwwww.”

This is less of a quote and more like noise, but it’s still one of Krabs’ best. Instantly, Mr. Krabs becomes infatuated by Mrs. Puff and wants to take her on a date, but he’s too nervous. As a result, he can’t even form a sentence and ends up making a series of sounds for SpongeBob to translate.

One of these noises that appears multiple times throughout Krusty Love is when SpongeBob tells Mr. Krabs to just say, “Hello.” Instead, all Eugene Krabs can utter is a long coo, “Awwwww.” Again, a lot of the comedy here comes from the silliness of hearing the usually tough-sounding Mr. Krabs devolve into the silliest of voices.

Imitation Krabs

“What Is Today But Yesterday’s Tomorrow.”

There is no denying that Squidward Tentacles only got funnier the older viewers got. That’s why episodes about Squidward were so cherished. Even in bit parts such as in “Imitation Krabs,” he steals the show when interacting with Mr. Krabs, “I always thought the most important rule was why do today what you can put off till tomorrow.”

This smug comment gets the response from Mr. Krabs, “What is today but yesterday’s tomorrow.” A perfect comeback from a boss to a lazy employee. It’s just one of many lines from “Imitation Krabs” that help make it such a beloved episode.

Driven To Tears

“I Used To Have A Kidney Stone. Everything Passes Eventually.”

Overall, “Driven To Tears” is an example of how horrible of a friend Patrick is in some episodes. However, it does feature a stand-out line from Mr. Krabs when he opens up a drive-thru window. Krabs talks about how there are people on the open road, living their dream which prompts SpongeBob to say, “I used to have a dream.”

In the most uncaring and indifferent response from Mr. Krabs, he says, “Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually.” It is cruel and heartless but it’s also so blunt and out of nowhere that it’s impossible to not laugh at it.

My Pretty Seahorse

“You’re A Mystery, SpongeBob.”

SpongeBob is now a seahorse owner which he rides to work on. After the hitched seahorse causes a fuss, Mr. Krabs calls it a monster, only for SpongeBob to explain that she’s just a horse. He’s also named her Mystery, showing his love for the creature.

Mr. Krabs simply responds to this with a low and emotionless, “You’re a mystery, SpongeBob.” Even SpongeBob himself laughs at this play on words and hardly anyone can blame him. Krabs’ nonchalant insult was so perfectly delivered by Clancy Brown that it’s impossible to be mad at him.

The Nasty Patty

“Ice Is Just A Myth!”

SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs think they’ve killed a health inspector in one of SpongeBob‘s highest-rated episodes. As a result, the two are trying their best to hide the body. At the Krusty Krab, a police officer wants ice for her drink so she heads for the freezer where they stored the body.

Mr. Krabs is completely unable to remain calm or cool and tries to block the freezer, “There is no ice! There has never been any ice! Ice is just a myth!” Krabs’ attempts to deflect the officer are as smooth as the Rocky Mountains and it can instantly break anyone into laughing.

Help Wanted

“Do You Smell It?”

Even from the very pilot episode, Mr. Krabs was making viewers giggle. He sends SpongeBob on what he thinks is a fool’s errand until many buses surround the Krusty Krab, making him alerted. He then begins to sniff the air (or water in this case), resulting in him giving a glare.

“Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. A kind of smelly smell that smells…smelly.” It’s with this quote, he almost sounds like he’s parodying Quint’s famous speech from Jaws in the best way possible. Clancy Brown nails the intensity of the voice while still keeping the right timing for comedy.

Wet Painters

“If You Boys Are Wasting Time, Then You’re Wasting Money! And That’s Just Sick!”

In “Wet Painters,” it opens up with SpongeBob and Patrick having fun at the Krusty Krab which angers Mr. Krabs. He scolds them, “Time is money! And if you boys are wasting time, then you’re wasting money! And that’s just sick!” It’s such a brutal and blunt line that showcases his greedy nature.

It’s hard to not laugh at such an overblown statement along with the evil glare Krabs gives. Even funnier is the fact that SpongeBob and Patrick hardly even react to it.

About The Author