Survivor: Coach’s 10 Cringiest Quotes Of All Time

Taking on Survivor requires a lot of confidence and skill, so it’s no surprise that many contestants have a genuine belief in their own abilities. Some more so than others. Coach, also known as Benjamin Wade, is one of the most recognizable names and faces of the Survivor series, managing three attempts at the competition. He’s known for having said some of the most memorable comments on TV and some believe he is one of the cockiest Survivor players of all time.

Unfortunately for Coach, some of the cringiest moments on the show not only involved him but were also caused by him. He got the nickname “Coach” because he was a woman’s soccer coach, which is understandable, but some of the other titles he’s given himself are more questionable.

He’s A Dragon Slayer

“You, My Friend, Are The Dragon. And I Am The Dragon Slayer.”

Coach is one of the best storytellers on the show, and some might say, one of the cleverest too. He got a lot of airtime during his stint because of incidents like this comment. The nickname ‘The Dragon Slayer” started when Coach himself wanted to eliminate a player from the game.

Brendan happened to be his previous teammate, but Coach decided that neither Brendan or Sierra could be trusted. According to Coach, Brendan’s actions resembled that of a dragon, and Sierra was likened to the bowel movements which come out of the dragon. So when Brendan was eliminated, Coach declared himself “The Dragon Slayer.”  Coach certainly knew how to get the buy-in from the viewers, keeping his narrative going and making him a household name.

He’s Been Through Everything

“I’ve Been Through A Hurricane, Been Attacked By A Shark, Had A Run-In With A Crocodile, Got Captured By An Indian Tribe …”

Survivor fans are used to hearing Coach’s crazy stories. While sitting around the campfire, he gained popularity by telling tales about how he had many near-death experiences, despite only being in his late 30s. He didn’t disappoint his fans when he went into a list of all the many ways he had nearly lost his life, including being attacked by a shark and having a run-in with a crocodile.

One thing this man never does is disappoint. He’s been one of the cringiest players on Survivor and the game wouldn’t have been the same without him. After all, he did have three goes at it.

He’s Done It All Before

“I Have.”

This simple but confident quote came out of Coach’s mouth when Brendan suggested no one had ever done anything like Survivor before. Most contestants go on the show for the experience and perhaps to learn a trick or two. Coach, on the other hand, is a different breed. Without a breath, after Brendan’s initial comment, Coach responded with “I have.”

Survivor might be full of new experiences for everyone else, but for Coach, it was just a run-of-the-mill thing to do. The element of surprise is what makes this man who he is.

He’s The Storyteller

“I Want You Guys To Know There Are Three People In The World That Know This Story.”

Fans of Survivor and Coach, in general, will look at this quote and understand its importance. Coach loved to tell stories about himself to anyone who’d listen, and even those who wouldn’t.

Suggesting there are only three people in the world who know this particular story might well be true, but it might be questionable. It’s safe to say Coach is a talker, all he needs in return is a pair of willing, or not-so-willing ears.

He’s More Of A Man

“They Will Become Men. Well, I’m Already A Man, So This Is Just Going To Make Me More Of A Man.”

A classic Coach quote when he was sent to Exile Island, here, he is talking about ancient American Indians, who had to go many hours and even days without food once sent away from their group. He’s, of course, likening his situation to theirs, and watching him walk through the wilderness with determination, knowing he likely has no idea what other people have experienced is quite the scene.

Comparing his privileged situation to previous experiences of others definitely made some of his fans cringe, but others laughed at the irony. Fans of Coach are good at not taking him too seriously and understanding that his blatant dismissive nature of others’ experiences is maybe not intended to be as insensitive as it comes across.

His Nicknames Stick

“Be The Wizard, Stephen. Be The Wizard!”

Fans of Coach don’t always know what he means even in some of his most memorable quotes and he might not always know what he is saying, either. One of the most random comments he made was when he called Stephen “The Wizard,” quite literally out of nowhere.

One thing Coach fans know is that once he’s given you a title, they tend to stick. Are fans laughing at Coach, or with him? All that said and done, these quotes have a way of reappearing out of nowhere, just as they did in the show.

He’s The Most Honorable Man

“There’s Nobody Here That’s Honorable Anymore. Except For Me.”

Whether Coach won a challenge or lost, he always played the game.  He had high standards for himself and he appeared to take offense when other contestants didn’t meet them.

This quote was delivered in a confessional, and in this one sentence, he manages to build himself up, as usual, while throwing shade at the other contestants. Maybe this was part of his game plan, or maybe he felt there was truth in what he was saying. Either way, the end result was horrifyingly cringe-worthy.

He’s A Chong Ran Expert

“If You Do A Google Search On It, You Won’t Find It.”

This quote has to either be genius or really stupid, fans can decide. Coach said this line when talking about his Tae Kwon Do-style morning exercise routine.

He told the other contestants that it was called Chong Ran and that it was ancient Tibetan art, but you have to go to the monastery to study it, it’s not found on Google. What better way to get out of any difficult situation is there?

He’s A Poet

“I Wrote A Poem For Everyone To Hear.”

Coach managed to make an impact with his cringy delusion and grandiose ideas of self-importance. He’s one of the most unique Survivor contestants. In the final scene in Tocantins, Coach decided it was time for him to recite a poem he wrote for all the other contestants at Tribal Council, just as the vote was about to be cast.

The poem came out of nowhere in the same way as many of Coach’s comments do. Fans love Coach because he is a loose cannon and the element of surprise is what keeps them so fiercely loyal.

His Name Is Coach Aka The Dragon Slayer

“If Anybody Calls Me Benjamin To My Face, I’m Going To Lose It.”

Just as he did with his fans, Coach managed to divide his fellow contestants too. Contestants such as Stacy and Christine were great examples of his enemies and they were quick to slander his name on South Pacific.

Stacey had no problem bringing up the fact that Coach wasn’t actually his real name. Perhaps she just wanted the truth to be said, or perhaps she just wanted to take Coach down a peg. Whatever her reasoning, Coach was unhappy. He later confronted his own tribe and in no uncertain terms told them this line. What comes out of Coach’s mouth is always a surprise, and that’s possibly why he’s a Survivor villain fans just have to love, even if he rates highly on the cringe scale.