The 10 Scariest Monsters In The Cabin In The Woods, Ranked

One of the most brilliantly deconstructive horror movies ever made, The Cabin in the Woods has become something of a genre classic in the years since its release, serving as both an entertaining horror-comedy in its own right and an affectionate send-up of the genre as a whole.

Not revealing the true scope of its story until the movie’s final act, The Cabin in the Woods’ climactic sequence proved to be one of the biggest, bloodiest surprises in horror history, with dozens upon dozens of monsters being released into the facility. While some pay homage to classic horror movies, others are completely unique creations – either way, here are the ten scariest monsters the movie has to offer.

10 The Dolls

The kind of sinister masked killers you’d find in a movie like The Strangers or The Purge, the Dolls are hardly the heaviest hitters in The Cabin in the Woods’ Monster Squad, but they’re undoubtedly one of the most visually chilling.

Donning white, doll-like masks and pristine black suits, the Dolls only get a few seconds of screen time, but that’s more than enough for them to stand out as one of the sequence’s creepiest concepts.

9 Dragonbat

Sure, Dragonbat may not be the first monster that springs to mind when you look back on The Cabin in the Woods’ gleefully gruesome final act, but there are few monsters that caused as much carnage as this chiropteran terror.

Capable of tackling its prey through walls by flying at high speeds, Dragonbat is amongst the fastest, most efficient killers in the whole movie – so once it gets its claws on you, it’s game over. Just take a look at that disgusting, grotesque mouth.

8 Giant Snake

Boasting one of the highest body counts in the entire movie, the Giant Snake’s horror mileage admittedly varies based on your tolerance for the creature’s real-life counterparts. Not based on one particular kind of snake, this oversized serpent is an unholy mixture of a rattlesnake, an anaconda, and a cobra.

Slithering through the halls of the facility, the Giant Snake chows down on its enemies without very little effort, with its sheer size – as well as those disturbingly needle-like teeth – making it incredibly deadly.

7 Zombie Redneck Torture Family

There’s a lot of undeserved hate leveled at The Cabin in the Woods’ central antagonists, the Buckner Family. They may have been the movie’s only monsters for the majority of its runtime, but the argument that they’re the “blandest” creatures in the movie couldn’t be further from the truth.

For a start, they’re the perfect monsters to slot into the stereotypical “cabin in the woods” narrative the movie pays homage to. Secondly, they’re the only villains in the whole movie with an actual backstory. And last but not least, they’re a rotting, undead family of religious zealots whose sole purpose is to kill you in the most painful way possible. How is that not scary?

6 Sugarplum Fairy

Also known as the Ballerina Dentata, the Sugarplum Fairy is one of the first monsters Dana and Marty encounter on their descent into the Facility – and is still amongst its scariest residents by the time the movie’s credits roll.

Taking on the appearance of a little girl in ballet get-up, it’s the Sugarplum Fairy’s hideously grotesque mouth that makes her so unsettling. Taking up her entire face, those uneven rows of concentric teeth could do some seriously gruesome damage. Sure, she’s one of the few monsters that’s never actually seen killing her victims, but honestly that’s probably for the best.

5 Kiko

Taking inspiration from the terrifying vengeful spirits featured in the likes of The Grudge and The Ring, there are few monsters in The Cabin in the Woods that are as visually unsettling as Kiko.

Sent to murder a school of Japanese schoolgirls as a sacrifice to The Ancient Ones, the only thing keeping this onryō from a higher spot is the fact that she was ultimately defeated, with the young students transferring her soul into a frog.

4 Merman

Perhaps the most hilariously paid off joke in The Cabin in the Woods, the grotesque Merman is still one of its most terrifying creatures. After spending the entire movie desperate to see a Merman, engineer Steven Hadley finally gets to meet one in the worst way imaginable, meeting his gruesome fate at its webbed hands.

A bloated, lumbering fish-human hybrid, the Merman is a truly hideous sight – and while it’s rather easily avoided, God help you if it does catch you. Not only will the Merman gleefully eat you alive, but he’ll spray your blood out of his blowhole as he does so, like a giant, aquatic woodchipper.

3 The Doctors

While many of the vicious creatures in The Cabin in the Woods’ final act are quick, efficient killers, the Doctors subject their unfortunate victims to a fate far worse than death.

A pair of grisly undead surgeons, it appears the Doctors have had some cosmetic work done themselves – with their mangled, mutilated faces being haphazardly laced with stitches. What’s more, it seems that the Doctors are eager to make their victims just as beautiful as themselves, putting them under the knife before they finally finish them off.

2 Killer Clown

Once again, for those who aren’t remotely scared of clowns, The Cabin in the Woods’ Killer Clown may not be such a big deal. For those with a severe case of coulrophobia however, it’s truly the stuff of nightmares.

The Clown appears to kill its victims the old-fashioned way, wielding a large, sharpened knife – but what makes the monster even more imposing is its ability to shrug off bullets like they’re nothing, wearing a ghoulish grin as he does so.

1 Fornicus, Lord of Bondage and Pain

A clear visual reference to Clive Barker’s iconic Hellraiser, Fornicus is another one of the first creatures Dana and Marty encounter in the movie’s climactic sequence. A large, physically imposing figure clad in leather, Fornicus’ defining feature is his bald head – which just so happens to have several circular saw blades protruding from it.

While the visual alone is enough to send a shiver down your spine, if he’s anything like Hellraiser’s Pinhead, he’s also likely to inflict inconceivable amounts of pain on those unlucky enough to summon him – something Curt almost did in the movie’s opening act.