The Farewell: 10 Best Quotes Of The Film

The year 2019 was another good year for Asian-led films. Lulu Wang’s second feature-length film The Farewell charmed critics and audiences alike this past summer. It has seen such success that Wang is rumored to be in discussions with Marvel for an upcoming film.

While The Farewell may not go down as one of the most quoted movies from the 2010s, it’s chock full of good ones. Here are a few of our favorites.

10 “They’re Just Benign Shadows” – Little Nai Nai

The Farewell begins with white lies being told by both Billi and her grandmother Nai Nai to each other over the phone. The “actual lie” that sets everything in motion is when Nai Nai’s sister, AKA Little Nai Nai, fudges the results from a CT scan. When Nai Nai pushes back and asks Little Nai Nai about the spots the doctors noticed, Little Nai Nai responds, “Turned out to be nothing. They’re just benign shadows.” It is somewhat humorous given that the term “benign shadows” is complete nonsense, but it is also very troubling given that Nai Nai is definitely not in full health. From here on out, no one can be completely normal around her.

9 “It’s Not The Cancer That Kills Them. It’s The Fear.” – Lu Jian

When Billi returns to her parents’ home one night, she eventually finds out why her dad, Haiyan, is upset. He has just found out that Nai Nai, his mother, has cancer and is dying. Not only that, but this is when Billi is first told that no one will be revealing this news to Nai Nai herself. Confused, she asks why. Her mother, Lu Jian, replies with a Chinese saying, “When people get cancer, they die. It’s not the cancer that kills them; it’s the fear.” This is just one of several different reasons that Nai Nai will remain in the dark about her cancer, but it is just the beginning of Billi’s journey.

8 “My Only Grandson’s Getting Married, We Can’t Look Cheap!” – Nai Nai

To keep Nai Nai out of the loop regarding her cancer and also have the opportunity to see her presumably for the last time, an abrupt wedding is planned a year ahead of schedule. Nai Nai insists on going to the caterer to make sure there are no kinks on the big day.

When she goes with Haibin, Billi’s uncle and Haiyan’s brother, she discovers that there has been some miscommunication about what is to be served in terms of seafood at the wedding. Hoping to get her way, she tells the caterers, “My grandson’s getting married. We can’t look cheap!” So much of The Farewell is about keeping up appearances even when it is seemingly impossible.

7 “I Know.” – Billi

When Billi arrives at Nai Nai’s house for the wedding, she is surprised to discover that she will be staying at a hotel for convenience’s sake. Haibin offers to walk with her there. As they walk to the hotel, Haibin repeats the basic facts about Nai Nai’s situation and the plan, or lack thereof, to address it. Each time Haibin tells Billi something, she simply responds, “I know.” It’s a simple line that Awkwafina repeats several times, but each time the weight gets heavier, helping us see how frustrating it is to have that knowledge and not have the power to really do what she wants with it.

6 “It’s Just… Different.” – Billi

When Billi arrives at the hotel, she briefly converses with the hotel manager. He tries to make small talk, asking what brings her to China given that she lives in America and other things. One of the last questions he asks is, “Which is better? China or America?” Billi simply responds, “It’s different.” When the manager tries to get more out of her, she responds again, “It’s just… different.”

This is the approach that writer/director Lulu Wang takes in this film when showing the various perspectives of her characters. Those that identify simply as Chinese have their own perspectives, just as well as those that are American-born Chinese, like Billi. At no point do we get the sense that one perspective is superior.

5 “Don’t Be Nio Nio Ne Ne” – Nai Nai

During a photo shoot with the soon-to-be-wed couple, Nai Nai and Billi have a conversation behind the action. Nai Nai tells Billi, “Don’t be nio nio ne ne.” When Billi asks her to explain, Nai Nai pretends to make a sour face and be a grouch. Essentially Nai Nai tells Billi not to be a buzzkill at the wedding.

We have heard of a lot of different ways to not be a Debbie Downer at a party, but this one is new. Maybe next time we’re at a party, we’ll have to try this one with a friend and see if it catches on.

4 “Isn’t It Wrong To Lie?” – Billi

When Nai Nai suddenly goes to the hospital, everyone rushes to meet her there, fearing the worst. When they all arrive, the doctor continues to keep Nai Nai in the dark about her true diagnosis. Given that Nai Nai can only speak in Mandarin but the doctor can converse in both Mandarin and English, he tells the rest of the family the same thing that they’ve already known. Billi asks the doctor, “Isn’t it wrong to lie?”

The doctor doesn’t provide a satisfactory answer to Billi and she continues to wrestle with the question. This is another quote that gets to the heart of the movie. What kinds of lies do we tell each other as families? Does their purpose serve to help or hurt us?

3 “Enjoy The Cigarette, Dad!” – Uncle Haiban

Before the wedding, Billi and her extended family all go to her grandfather’s final resting place to commemorate him. They place various things upon his grave including some of his favorite things that he enjoyed in life. When Billi’s father places a cigarette down, Nai Nai scolds him, telling him that his father quit a few weeks before he died.

Billie’s father replies that on the contrary, he continued to smoke until he died. “What does it matter?” Haibin asks, “Enjoy the cigarette, dad.” Again, we see secrets that were kept from at least one member of the family. But did this secret really hurt anyone?

2 “In The East, A Person’s Life Is Part Of A Whole.” – Uncle Haiban

In another scene, Billi talks with her uncle Haibin and her father about why they are keeping Nai Nai’s impending death from her. Uncle Haibin explains to Billi that to the Chinese, life isn’t just experienced on an individual level, “In the East,” he says, “A person’s life is a part of a whole.” In other words, life is experienced within a familial context.

For Haibin and Haiyan, telling their mother that she is dying would be a shameful act to a certain degree, signifying their unwillingness to carry the burden of this knowledge so that she may continue to live life fully. It doesn’t make the pain go away, but it does provide a purpose in it.

1 “Why Would I Lie To You?” – Nai Nai

In Billi’s last conversation with Nai Nai before she returns to the US, Billi shares some things with Nai Nai that she hasn’t had a chance to tell her about. At the end of their conversation, Nai Nai rhetorically asks, “Why would I lie to you?” It makes Billi’s impending departure even harder knowing that Billi and her family are categorically lying to her about one of the most important things. The film doesn’t end with Billi reaching a certain conclusion, but we do at least find out that the real Nai Nai is still alive.

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