The Gilded Age: 10 Best Agnes Van Rhijn Quotes

With all the decorum and social expectations, Agnes Van Rijn seems to fit right in with Mrs. Astor’s Four Hundred. The matriarch of the small Manhattan family can be dower and droll, yet in just the right moment, she might surprise people. She is certainly unafraid to say exactly what is on her mind.

Though her sister, Ada Brook, and her niece, Marian, are extremely careful what they say around her, Anges’ son Oscar is cut from the same cloth as she and often teases her just to get a rise. But Agnes Van Rhijn has thought very carefully about everything around her and all that comes out of her mouth.

When She Reminds Ada Of Her Position

“You were allowed the pure and tranquil life of a spinster. I was not.”

The two sisters are very honest with each other, though Ada does have to be careful about what she says and does since she is on her sister’s dime. Ada has sent their recently orphaned niece a note inviting her to the home in Manhattan without telling Agnes.

Agnes is quite frugal and conservative, and not always the most likable upstairs character on The Gilded Age. But since they live off of the estate of Agnes’ late husband, she doesn’t hesitate to put Ada in her place. She also reminds her sister about what sacrifice her marriage required.

When She Explains The Four Hundred

“That’s like saying, ‘Do you like rain?’ She is a fact of life that we must live with.”

Young Marian is new to the high society of Manhattan and, with her aunts’ help, she is beginning to piece together its social expectations and structure. When she asks Agnes whether she likes Mrs. Astor, this quote is her response.

Mrs. Astor and her ‘gatekeeper,’ Ward McAllister, are the social elite who have decided what families are acceptable and which are not. The nouveau riche are working hard to join this upper class, who feel the need to keep them out, at all costs.

When She Confirms Her Disdain For Her Brother

“It wasn’t worth an uncomfortable day of travel to make sure Henry was dead.”

Though Ada can be a bit more sympathetic and kind about their brother’s betrayal, Agnes is unflinching about her hatred of the sibling who wasted their inheritance. Even in front of Marian, Agnes is willing to speak ill of the dead.

Especially as an intelligent woman in a time when her human rights are limited, Agnes is fully aware of what it takes to survive and continue to be independent. She finds it unforgivable that their brother wasted all the family money.

When She Explains Her Dislike Of The Russells

“I am opposed to her tribe.”

While talking with the rest of her family about the new neighbors across the street with the monstrous new mansion, Agnes’ son Oscar brings up Gladys, the youngest Russell. It might be nice to invite her for a luncheon.

Agnes scoffs at the idea and her family asks what she could possibly have against such an innocent young woman. None of the family agrees with the matriarch, nor to speak up. Unlike Agnes, many of the characters in The Gilded Age are actively defying societal norms.

When She Scrutinizes Her Sister

“You survived a civil war, yet you collapse because a lap dog is missing? Pull yourself together, for heaven’s sake. You are a soldier’s daughter. Remember it.”

Poor Aunt Ada, “The Spinster,” can act a bit fragile at times, especially when she’s with her overbearing sister. However, in private with their niece, Ada, she shows how strong and thoughtful she can be.

When Pumpkin, Ada’s King Charles Spaniel, escapes from Bannister, she seems to fall apart. Bannister and the likable downstairs staff on The Gilded Age worry for Ada. Granted, the poor thing does depend on her pet for affection and attention, but her sister is having none of it.

When She Reveals The Reality Of Volunteering To Marian

“Charity has two functions in our world, my dear. The first is to raise funds for the less fortunate, which is wholly good. The second is to provide a ladder for the people to climb into society who do not belong there.”

But only with a socially-acceptable association and this warning. Marian follows her aunt’s mandates and takes this advice with a grain of salt. She continues to find ways to be useful, like pursuing volunteer work with The Red Cross.

When She And Ada Don’t See Eye-To-Eye About Marian

“‘Self-destructive’? You’ve been reading those German books again. I’ve warned you before: just stick to Louisa May Alcott.”

Both of Marian’s aunts very much want to protect her from the pitfalls of New York’s society, while guiding her toward a successful life. Marian appreciates this but is also unwilling to obey every mandate.

So when Agnes warns her niece about associating with the wrong people, the optimistic Ada tries to reassure her that Marian will look out for herself. Agnes’ exasperated reaction seems very much of the time and a wonderful literary reference to the Little Women author.

When She Reads A Room

“It seems to me the ship is sinking. We must follow the example of the rats.”

When Mrs. Chamberlain or the Russells join a gathering, Agnes immediately becomes aware of their need to leave. Agnes would not fare well in modern-day New York, but in her era, she understands that no one of their social standing should be near these pariahs for fear that their own elitism might be negatively affected.

When She Verbally Spars With Her Son

“I am not concerned with facts. Not if they interfere with my beliefs.”

It seems the only person in Agnes’ life that isn’t intimidated by her is her son, Oscar Van Rhijn. Though he appears to admire and love her, he’s willing to poke the bear occasionally. And when she speaks this doozy, Oscar has to respond.

Granted, being a wealthy and successful young white man in the era, it appears that Oscar is not intimated by anyone. So when his mother speaks on her beliefs, he responds to the room, “I give you prejudice in a nutshell.”

When She Makes a Joke (Maybe?)

“I haven’t been thrilled since 1865.”

Marian tells her aunt that she will be thrilled and Agnes drops this little nugget with the slightest smirk. The conversation continues and Agnes doesn’t explain. Maybe she is a bit human, after all.

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