The Good Place: 5 Ways Good Janets Are Best (& 5 Ways Bad Janets Rule More)

In The Good Place, D’Arcy Carden is a series highlight as Janet, the programmable guide and infinite knowledge source who provides residents of the titular destination with whatever they desire. This Good Janet accomplishes her many tasks with a smile on her face.

While Good Janet and her various iterations obviously rock, her opposite Bad Janet (also played by Carden) turns out to be pretty cool, too. Bad Janet, as her name implies, hangs out in the Bad Place, slinging insults with the same verve Good Janet applies to her compliments. This brings up a pressing question: which Janet would make a better pal in the eternal afterlife?

10 Good Janet: She’s Literally An Anthropomorphized Database Of Infinite Information

Not a girl or a robot, Good Janet relies on her endless troves of data to help those fortunate enough to make it into the Good Place. That’s her stated purpose at least, until Bad Place Architect Michael (Ted Danson) steals a Good Janet for his latest project — one that involves torturing humans condemned to the Bad Place in a fake Good Place.

The Good Place, of course, decimates the binary between good and bad as the show progresses. No matter which realm she finds herself in, though, Good Janet is capable of summoning any fact, item, or omniscient forecast while keeping a smile on her face.

9 Bad Janet: She Also Retains All The Knowledge In The Universe

Bad Janet, like her counterpart, is also a walking, talking database containing all the knowledge humans and Eternal Beings could ever possess. One difference is Bad Janet doesn’t work as an assistant for humans; she only retrieves things for Architects.

While Good Janet seems to enjoy sharing knowledge with others, Bad Janet treats every inquiry like an awful ordeal she has no time for. Her sass knows no bounds, nor does her desire to spend eternity scrolling through her cell phone.

8 Good Janet: She Uses Her Knowledge To Help People

Resourceful and kind, Good Janet is designed to make anyone’s wishes come true. She thrives on being helpful and watching humans rejoice when she brings them straight to the information or item they need.

Another entertaining quality possessed by Good Janets is that they always tell the truth. It’s impossible for them to lie, as they cannot process any information that is not objectively true.

7 Bad Janet: She Uses Her Knowledge To Formulate The Best Insults

On the other hand, while Bad Janet is far from kind, she is definitely resourceful. Being an infinite directory shaped like a human female, Bad Janet’s inner workings make her the perfect insult machine.

Bad Janet always brings cheeky lip service to the table. Her one-liners are concise and to the point, the result of honing her craft over millions and billions of years.

6 Good Janet: She Always Saves The Day

Without the assistance of Good Janet, there’s no way Eleanor and the rest of the humans who comprise The Good Place would have been able to transform the afterlife over the course of the show. This makes Good Janet the show’s unsung hero, the sentient retrieval device who is always working.

When Good Janet is kidnapped and switched with a Bad Janet, the gang notices a major difference in how events transpire around them. With their saving grace locked away by the demon Shawn, their attempts to challenge the structure of the great beyond become doomed for failure.

5 Bad Janet: She Always Lets Them Rip On Command

When Good Janet does a good deed, Bad Janet is always waiting in the wings to showcase her amazing ability to fart on command. That’s right: Bad Janet lets them rip on command, adding an extra element to her propensity to fling insults.

Even when she’s marbelized, Bad Janet breaks wind frequently and loudly. Not a lot is known about why she’s bestowed with this quality, but it fits well into her hatred for customs, niceties, and etiquette.

4 Good Janet: She Becomes Capable Of Feeling Emotions

In The Good Place, Janet endures thousands of reboots and endless interactions with humans before she meets one who teaches her emotional intelligence: Jacksonville native Jason Mendoza. Jason is spontaneous, overemotional, and temperamental — essentially the exact opposite of Janet.

Tahani, Jason, and Janet exist in a sort of bizarre love triangle through Michael’s various experiments, and Jason event marries Janet at the end of the first season. She may not experience feelings in the same ways humans do, but Janet’s time with Jason changes her irrevocably.

3 Bad Janet: She Rocks A Smoky Eye And Leather Pants

Bad Janet’s attire screams fierce, from her skin-tight, high-waisted pants to her leather moto jacket. Until Good Janet, Bad Janet dons a long, blonde hairdo that offsets her all-black look.

As if that isn’t enough, Bad Janet’s ankle boots, nail polish, and smoky eye make-up prove she’s by far the best dresser in the Bad Place. She may even be the best dresser in all of the afterlife.

2 Good Janet: She Guides Everyone Into Whatever Lies Beyond The Good Place

The Good Place ends with a complete overhaul of the afterlife, one spearheaded by Eleanor, Chidi, Tahani, Jason, Michael, and Good Janet. When the Good Place’s doors open for more people, an eternity in paradise eventually gets very boring.

This is when Michael, with the help of Good Janet, creates a door that allows bored humans to end their eternal existence for good. In a sweet twist, Janet walks with each person through the forest to the door, watching them as they pass over into the great beyond.

1 Bad Janet: She Shows Signs Of Growth With Michael

In season 4, Michael holds Bad Janet captive after it’s discovered she traded places with Good Janet. While imprisoned, Michael shares many of the revelations he’s experienced since starting his experiment with Eleanor, Chidi, Tahani, and Jason.

He gives Bad Janet a copy of the manifesto he composed with Good Janet about humanity before sending her back to the Bad Place. Even though she lets another one rip before she departs, Bad Janet indicates she will put some thought into Michael’s ideas.

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