The Honeymooners: 10 Ralph Quotes That Are Still Hilarious Today

The Honeymooners, a sitcom from the 1950s, set a precedent in television history. Many of today’s shows follow the format of an ensemble cast thanks to the genius of Jackie Gleason, the show’s star and comedic mastermind. Also, many of the one-liners from the show are still known today and have become an indelible part of the American culture.

While Gleason was known for his heart of gold, the character he played, Ralph Kramden, had a blustery temper. His bark was far worse than his bite. His wife and his friend Norton never really batted an eyelash no matter how mad Ralph became. Instead, they seemed to enjoy egging him on, which provided adoring audiences with many hilarious iconic moments to appreciate. If you need a good laugh, here are ten Ralph quotes that are still hilarious today.

10 “I brive a dus… I dus a brive”

Poor Ralph. For all of his bragging, he’s actually pretty insecure, and it’s something Jackie Gleason pulled off very well. He’s at his best during the “$99,000 Question” episode, where Ralph is a contestant on the game show.

A beautiful woman leads Ralph out on stage, and given Ralph’s puppy dog look for which Gleason was so famous for, he pumps the host’s hand up and down a thousand times. Forget answering the question for the big money, Ralph can’t even answer what he does for a living.

9 “Hardy har har.”

Most of Ralph’s funny lines were in response to Alice, who was the embodiment of a smart mouth. Alice always seemed to have an endless supply of snarky, sarcastic remarks. This was stated when Ralph seemed to be at a loss for words, and he wanted to have a way to say, “Very funny” when he didn’t really find it funny at all. The audience, though, thought it was hilarious anyway.

The Flintstones used this line also,  and many other parallels have been drawn linking the shows together, such as the two-couple dynamic, an overweight friend with a shorter, slimmer friend who was a bit of a bird brain.

8 “Hamina hamina hamina hamina.”

When Ralph got caught lying or became scared, he didn’t know how to respond, and then this line came out. It wasn’t just the line, but the way Gleason said it, the face he made, and the entire package. Gleason pulled it off, looking like he was at a total loss for words.

This really spoke to the actor’s talent. It’s a funny reaction to the absurd situations he often found himself in.

7 “You… are a mental case.”

Many of the zany situations Ralph gets in were because of his friend, Ed Norton. Ed really suffers from a chronic case of foot-in-mouth. Time and again, Ralph had to pay the consequences for his friend’s inability to know when to keep his tongue idle.

It’s no wonder that Ralph gets aggravated. Half of his aggravation really comes from Norton.

6 “You’re a real riot, Alice, a real riot!”

The other half of Ralph’s aggravation comes from his wife Alice. After all, she is married to Ralph, lives in a run-down apartment, and puts up with all of his cockamamie schemes.

Alice’s way to deal with the love of her life, who by all means, can sometimes be impossible, is to poke fun at him. Obviously, this opens the door for many hilarious situations and reactions from Ralph.

5 “Now I know why people play golf… It’s to get away from their wives.”

There are too many funny moments to address in “The Golfer” episode, from Ralph’s golfing outfit to Norton addressing the ball as “Hello, ball.”

Even funnier, Norton decides that he has to wiggle his hips around to relax enough to swing the club, so Ralph does the same. They imagine Ralph being able to golf up hills using this motion until Alice walks in and stares him right in the face when he’s just about to take a practice swing. She lays a few good ones on Ralph before walking into the bedroom. All Ralph can do is retort this remark, but Alice never seems affected by it at all.

4 “I’ve got a big mouth!”

Ralph has a habit of bragging beyond what he is actually capable of living up to, forcing him to confront what he’s done. In these times, Ralph knows he is going to lose face in a big way.

In typical Ralph Kramden style, he doesn’t just say the line. He has to shout it, and he crosses his eyes while yelling at the top of his lungs. Jackie Gleason, you were a treasure.

3 “YOU ARE A BLABBERMOUTH! A BLAAAAABERMOUTH!”

Being a blabbermouth was a big deal in The Honeymooners. It seems Ralph was surrounded by people who were incapable of holding their tongue, especially his friend Norton. No secrets existed in a social group like this.

There was one time when Alice’s mother visited, which Ralph detested because everything that came out of the woman’s mouth was an insult. Ralph bet Alice that she would pick a fight with him even if he sat there and said nothing at all. He put his theory to the test, brought out an alarm clock, and set the alarm for three minutes.

After a constant barrage of fat comments, how poor of a provider he was, and bringing up Alice’s old boyfriends, she spills the beans about the surprise ending of a play Ralph and Norton were to see, essentially ruining the entire play for him. The alarm clock rang, and he could no longer hold it in: “Blaaaaaabermouth!”

2 “Recapture my youth? If I keep this up, I’ll lose my old age!”

If you watch enough of The Honeymooners, you start to understand that a lot of what Ralph yells about has to do with his insecurities. In “Young at Heart,” Alice just wants to recapture some of the fun she and Ralph used to have and wants to go dancing and rollerskating, but Ralph’s initial reaction is not welcoming.

To make it up to Alice, Ralph vows to take her. Norton and Trixie tag along. Then, it is revealed that Ralph’s initial resistance was simply due to the fact that he can’t rollerskate. On top of that, Alice asks him to get some coffee. Gleason’s physical comedy is at its best in this episode. How does he get that coffee all the way back to that bench in rollerskates without spilling it? He does fairly well…until he sneezes. Then they all go down.

1 “Baby, you’re the greatest.”

At the end of the day, no matter how many potshots Alice’s mother lays into Ralph, no matter how loudly Ralph yells, and no matter how many jabs Alice gets in, Alice and Ralph still love each other. At the end of some of the episodes, Ralph professes his love to his wife, and Alice happily reciprocates.

Without this happy statement, Ralph’s temper and Alice’s needling would have been a portrait of a sad, turbulent marriage. It makes the banter seem less significant when we know that deep down, the couple really does love each other, conveying that all of the other stuff isn’t that important after all, so relax and laugh a little.

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