The Muppet Christmas Carol: 10 Funniest Quotes

The Muppet Christmas Carol is one of the most beloved Christmas movies even nearly three decades after its original release. While the movie might best be known for its faithful adaptation of the Charles Dickens classic, as well as its stellar soundtrack, the movie is also incredibly hilarious from start to finish.

Thanks to the presence of Gonzo the Great and Rizzo the Rat as co-narrators, the film is able to poke fun during some of the central story’s more serious moments, while other classic Muppets such as Miss Piggy and Sam Eagle also get in their fair share of jokes.

Rizzo’s Snarky Gratitude

“Thank You For Makin’ Me A Part Of This!”

More than most of the other characters in The Muppet Christmas Carol, except for maybe poor little Bean Bunny, Rizzo the Rat gets put through the wringer in various ridiculous and painful scenarios. Things get off to a comedic start with this, however, when Gonzo decides to use Rizzo for some window cleaning.

When they can’t see into Scrooge’s office building, Gonzo, in need of a clearer view to be able to narrate, picks Rizzo up and uses him as a glorified squeegee, wiping the frost off the window as Rizzo sarcastically yelps, “Thank you for makin’ me a part of this!” His line delivery here makes for one of the film’s biggest laughs.

Gonzo And Rizzo Breaking The Fourth Wall:

“I Told You, Storytellers Are Omniscient. I Know Everything!” “Hoity-Toity, Mr. Godlike Smarty Pants.”

Breaking the fourth wall in movies is something that has become more common in recent years, but it’s taken time to catch on in children’s movies. The Muppet Christmas Carol doesn’t shy away from this, though, and it does so often as a result of the frame narrative of Gonzo and Rizzo comedically commenting on the film’s events.

When Gonzo points out the omniscience of storytellers, a super literary joke for the adults in the crowd, Rizzo is quick to call him out on that comment: “Hoity-toity, Mr. Godlike Smarty Pants.” The way Rizzo stares the camera down afterward just makes it all the more hilarious.

Sam Eagle’s Patriotic Mistake:

“It Is The American Way. … Oh. It Is The British Way.”

As one of the most iconic of the Jim Henson Muppets, Sam Eagle is known for his unwavering patriotism and his no-nonsense mentality. In The Muppet Christmas Carol, Sam Eagle is cast in the role of a young Ebenezer Scrooge’s headmaster, who imparts in him his business interest and ideology.

In a funny and very meta reference to Sam Eagle’s true personality, he momentarily slips and tells the young Ebenezer that something “is the American way.” Gonzo, previously uninvolved as the narrator, intervenes and reminds Sam of the film’s setting, prompting Sam to correct himself by saying that “it is the British way.”

The Rats’ Hilarious Response To Scrooge’s Ultimatum:

“All Our Pens Have Turned To Inkcicles!” “Our Assets Are Frozen!” “How Would The Bookkeeping Staff Like To Be Suddenly Unemployed?” “HEATWAVE! This Is My Island In The Sun!”

Music and the Muppets go hand in hand with each other. The Muppet Christmas Carol is a musical through and through, with some of the best songs in the entirety of the Muppets canon to boot. But the film also includes a hilarious exchange with a musical twist that is often overlooked.

Early on in the film, the bookkeeping rats and Bob Cratchit complain to Scrooge that the office is so cold that “our pens have turned to inkcicles” and “our assets are frozen.” When Scrooge threatens them with unemployment in return for their complaints, the rats find a hilarious way to respond: impulsively donning tropical skirts and headdresses and singing “Heatwave! This is my island in the sun!” as they dance off screen.

Rizzo Puts Things Into Perspective For Gonzo:

“Rats Don’t Understand These Things.” “You Were Never A Lonely Child?” “I Had 1,274 Brothers And Sisters.” “Boy, Rats Don’t Understand These Things.”

While visiting Ebenezer Scrooge’s childhood alongside the elder Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Past, Rizzo and Gonzo hide on the sidelines in his schoolhouse. They observe the young Ebenezer being left out time and again, both by his classmates and by remaining at the school during the holiday season.

It’s a poignant moment, where it becomes clear that Scrooge has been alone for much of his life. But a humorous exchange between Gonzo and Rizzo cuts through the melancholy moment, as Rizzo explains that he’s never known what it’s like to be a lonely child because “I had 1,274 brothers and sisters.”

Miss Piggy Gets Real:

“Even Though He Is Odious.” “Mhm.” “Stingy.” “Mhm.” “Wicked.” “Mhm.” “And Unfeeling.” “Mhm.” “And Badly Dressed.” “[Gasps]”

Miss Piggy is one of the most famous of the Muppets, but she is also easily the most brutally honest of them, too. In The Muppet Christmas Carol, Miss Piggy is cast in the role of Emily Cratchit, the matriarch of the Cratchit family. But even putting Piggy into this role doesn’t change her loud personality, nor does it change her complicated relationship with Kermit.

During the Cratchit family dinner, Miss Piggy tries to lead a toast in recognition of the founder of the feast, Mr. Scrooge. But of course, Piggy being Piggy, she can’t get through any show of gratitude without being judgmental, calling Scrooge “odious,” “stingy,” “wicked,” “unfeeling,” and “badly dressed” to the gasping horror of her daughters Belinda and Betina.

Gonzo And Rizzo Keep It Real From The Beginning:

“I Am Here To Tell The Story.” “And I Am Here For The Food.”

Rizzo and Gonzo have one of the most iconic friendships in the Muppets universe, one that is strengthened by the ways in which they both balance each other out and also support each other in their zaniest pursuits. The way The Muppet Christmas Carol introduces their characters perfectly highlights this delicate balance.

Gonzo and Rizzo introduce themselves to the viewers while working an apple vendor stall, with the more logical Gonzo observing that he is “here to tell the story,” while the always hungry Rizzo observes that he is simply “here for the food.”

An Iconic Ghost Introduction:

“You’re A Little Absent-Minded, Spirit.” “No. I’m A Large Absent-Minded Spirit.”

In a film filled with truly great characters, the Ghost of Christmas Present is easily one of The Muppet Christmas Carol‘s best characters. The Santa-like spirit is a larger-than-life jolly fellow that shows Scrooge the error of his ways with kindness, humility, and humor.

But in their introduction to one another, the Ghost of Christmas Present also makes quite the hilarious first impression given his somewhat air-headed personality. When Scrooge observes that the Ghost is “a little absent-minded, spirit,” the Ghost hilariously corrects him: “No. I’m a large absent-minded spirit.” And that he is.

Gonzo And Rizzo Know Their Real Audience:

“Should We Be Worried About The Kids In The Audience?” “Nah, It’s All Right. This Is Culture.”

Even though the Muppets may frequently be marketed toward children, especially with subsequent works like Muppet Babies, it is also true that the Muppets have always been intended for viewers of all ages, including the adults that watch along with their children.

The Muppet Christmas Carol is keenly aware of this double nature of their audience, as well as its own existence as an adaptation of a prominent work of culture. When Rizzo points out that the story might be scary for “the kids in the audience,” Gonzo once again gets hilariously meta when he points out, “It’s all right. This is culture.”

Rizzo In The Hot Seat:

“Light The Lamp, Not The Rat!”

Rizzo really goes through a lot over the course of The Muppet Christmas Carol, from being frozen in a bucket of water to landing on a hot roasted goose on a spit. But easily one of the movie’s biggest laughs comes when Gonzo makes a terrible mistake while they work on lighting oil street lamps.

In the process of lighting the lamp, Gonzo somehow lights poor Rizzo’s little tail instead of the lamp’s wick, leading Rizzo to shriek, over and over to increased comic effect, “Light the lamp, not the rat!”

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