The Ranch: Main Characters Ranked By Intelligence

This Netflix Original comedy drama just finished its eighth and final season. With the Bennett family leaving Netflix once and for all, there are definitely some memorable characters from this show. Every fan probably has their favorite and least favorite characters of this ranch, and it’s definitely safe to say they’re all pretty dynamic and hilarious.

However, part of the humor is definitely the differences between these characters. Not all of these ranchers are the sharpest tools in the shed, and some of them are actually pretty darn intelligent. Here are the main characters of The Ranch, ranked by intelligence.

10 Hank

Hank’s entire purpose in this show is supposed to be weird guy in the bar that drinks a lot and provides some awkward comedic relief. That being said, he’s also not supposed to be the brightest guy in the bar.

Of course, Hank can have his funny moments, but a lot of them are based on him not understanding social cues or being unable to get whatever is being talked about. For these reasons, Hank is definitely at the bottom of this list.

9 Colt

Colt wears his heart on his sleeve, and it’s one of the many reasons that fans love this character. While Ashton Kutcher steals our hearts in this role, Colt is also not supposed to be the most intelligent guy on the series. In fact, many of his “jokes” are him saying absolutely ridiculous and unintelligent things.

While Colt has a lot of skills and has a heart of gold, fans probably wouldn’t consider him to be “intelligent”, and it’s not just because he doesn’t read books. We still love Colt, but we wouldn’t choose him to solve a puzzle or anything.

8 Rooster

Rooster hasn’t been in the last couple of seasons, but he still had enough screen time for fans to love and remember this quirky and hilarious character. While Rooster might have been smarter than his brother, he also wasn’t known for being super smart.

He has some pretty sound logic, but at the end of the day, Rooster was known to make some pretty dumb decisions. However, he certainly has a better head on his shoulders than Colt.

7 Mary

Mary is a wild card of a character. To be honest, she doesn’t really have that many strengths. She mainly provides issues for the rest of the gang, and her story is mainly about her being a struggling addict and mother.

Of course, Mary is far from stupid. She has fought tooth and nail to be where she is, and a lot of that comes from her common sense and her ability to make the most of whatever she has. She’s a smart gal, even if she makes poor decisions.

6 Luke

Luke is pretty well-known for making some pretty wild decisions, and he certainly engages in a lot of the not-so-smart activities that Colt and Rooster would engage in. However, Luke has some pretty sound logic, and he seems to know quite a far bit.

While he never really directly challenges Colt, lots of Luke’s humor relies on him sarcastically making fun of whatever dumb thing his cousin says. Through this, it’s clear that Luke actually knows what’s going on, and he’s actually pretty intelligent.

5 Heather

Heather comes and goes throughout the series, but she always steals the hearts of viewers whenever she’s on screen. This character started off as a pretty unintelligent young woman, but it turns out that she’s incredibly well-rounded.

In fact, she’s actually pretty smart. She’s the voice of reason for her mom, Colt, and Luke at many different times. This young woman definitely has a good head on her shoulders, and she has proved she’s one of the most intelligent on the show.

4 Maggie

Maggie is the mom of the show. While she can be pretty frustrating at times, she is always providing logic and reason to her boys and to Beau. Maggie thinks everything through, and is pretty good at offering other perspectives.

She is incredibly open-minded and aware of how people feel, which is a pretty important part of intelligence. Of course, she also doesn’t make dumb decisions, and she’s pretty reliable in terms of common sense.

3 Beau

Unlike Maggie, Beau can be pretty close-minded, which is definitely a strike against him. However, Beau also has wisdom coming in waves. His lived experiences make him incredibly intelligent, and he always has insight onto anything that’s happening.

Beau is the epitome of logic, and he almost always makes the most intelligent and sensible decisions. For these reasons, it’s safe to say that Beau if one of the most intelligent characters on the series, and he’ll take the bronze medal.

2 Joanne

Joanne is a character that everyone cannot help but love and laugh with in every scene she’s in. Without Joanne, the Iron River ranch probably would have imploded thanks to Colt or Beau. She has a heart of gold and a brain with a lot of common sense.

This lovable character keeps these boys in line with her logic and her reason, but she also is incredibly open-minded and aware of how other people are feeling. Joanne is the whole package, and represents pretty much every aspect of intelligence.

1 Abby

Like Joanne, Abby is definitely the whole package. Abby knows how people are feeling, and she is often providing Colt with advice about how to respond to others and handle a situation. As well, Abby is super intelligent in the conventional sense.

She’s a school teacher, and she knows a lot about a lot of different things. If fans had a question about just about anything, we’d probably call up Abby to answer it for us. This character is super well-rounded, and deserves the title of being the most intelligent character on this Netflix series.

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Meah Peers
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I just graduated university with Criminology & Psychology, but have a burning side passion for film! I am an avid reader, writer, and film-goer, and I love learning about movies, actors, directors, and sharing my passion and knowledge with others.
I am a List Writer for ScreenRant, and love being a part of a film community where we all share the same passions.

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