The Tender Bar: Why JR Keeps Going Back To Sidney

Warning! SPOILERS ahead for The Tender Bar!

In the 2022 drama The Tender Bar, protagonist JR carries on a relationship with Sidney despite her abuse, and it reveals much about his character. Based on a memoir by J. R. Moehringer, The Tender Bar is directed by two-time Academy Award-winner George Clooney and chronicles the relationships that influenced JR throughout his young years. An Amazon Original, the film takes a thoughtful look at the importance of paternal guidance as well as the effects of emotional abuse.

The Tender Bar begins with JR—played by the X-Men franchise’s recast Cyclops, Tye Sheridan—as a young boy and the son of a single mother. JR’s father is a radio host nicknamed “the voice” and can be heard on the radio frequently throughout the film, appearing in person only to disappoint and abuse him. Acting as JR’s true father figure, Uncle Charlie (Ben Affleck) is the guiding force for JR throughout his life, teaching him about manhood while pouring drinks at his bar, The Dickens. When JR gets accepted to Yale he meets the elusive Sidney (Briana Middleton), entering into an abusive relationship with her that he continues to subject himself to and pursue throughout the film.

The climax of The Tender Bar comes when JR finally seeks out his father and is able to identify his alcoholism and abuse. JR, now a grown man, sees his father (The Purge’s Max Martini) for who he really is, and the viewer is provided a semblance of closure as JR calls the police to have his father arrested for domestic abuse. The viewer is not offered any closure, however, on JR’s other abusive relationship with Sidney. This may be because JR and Sidney’s relationship closely mirrors, and is a result of his relationship with his father, with JR subliminally seeking a resolution to his paternal abandonment issues through his continuous pursuit of Sidney’s approval and commitment.

Interestingly, this idea is eluded to at the very beginning of JR’s relationship with Sidney, when she asks him if he has father issues. JR’s denial reveals that he is unaware of the effect of his father’s abuse and also clues the viewer into the importance of these issues in JR’s forthcoming relationship with Sidney. It is because of JR’s treatment by his father—who was only present in JR’s life when it suited him—that he is unable to disengage from Sidney, yearning to win her commitment and love as a justification for his treatment by his father.

Just like with his father, JR makes himself available to Sidney whenever she chooses to engage in their relationship, however, JR breaks this pattern near the end of The Tender Bar. JR’s confrontation with his father and his action to stop the abuse reveal his clarity and ability to finally recognize the pain he has endured by both his father and Sidney. So, while the viewer is never offered closure in JR and Sidney’s relationship, the root of his unhealthy participation in the relationship is resolved by his actions with his father at the end of The Tender Bar.

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