The Wolf Of Wall Street: 10 Best Donnie Azoff Quotes, Ranked

Content Warning: The following list contains mentions of drug use.

The Wolf Of Wall Street is undoubtedly one of the best movies to come out in the last decade. Fans and critics are still divided on whether it glorifies fraud or not but there is no denying that the star-studded biopic offers great entertainment. Despite focusing on multimillionaire stockbroker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio), there are many other great characters.

One of those is Jordan’s best friend and right-hand man Donnie Azoff (Jonah Hill). In the movie, Donnie engages in all sorts of mischief and debauchery together with Donnie. Like the rest of the characters, Donnie says plenty of outrageous things, most of which are hard to erase from the mind.

10 “Hey Listen, I Quit!”

Donnie’s ambition becomes evident in his very first scene in the movie. As Jordan Belfort is having breakfast at a diner, Donnie introduces himself and tells the skilled stockbroker that he lives in the same building as him and his wife. He inquires whether the expensive car parked outside is his to which Jordan replies that it is. Donnie then asks Jordan how much he makes in a month.

When Jordan says he makes 70k, Donnie doesn’t believe him. Jordan then clarifies, saying it’s actually 72k. An impressed Donnie tells Jordan that if she shows him his 72k pay slip, he’ll quit his job and work for him. Jordan does just that and Donnie immediately calls his boss to quit.

9 “A Rich One!”

In the movie, Jordan and his employees perfect the art of working hard and playing hard. There’s no form of entertainment they don’t engage in. Soon, Jordan’s father Max Belfort becomes concerned about the crazy Stratton Oakmont lifestyle. He questions his son about the daily parties and excessive spending.

Max also notes that thousands of dollars have been paid to an escort agency. Some escorts have even been paid using credit cards. He wonders what kind of escort takes credit cards instead of cash. Donnie responds, telling Max that rich escorts do that. Everyone bursts out laughing.

8 “Take Your Little Bowtie And Get Out Of My Office.”

In as much as Stratton Oakmont employees are given plenty of freedom, they are required to focus during work hours. It thus doesn’t come as a surprise when Donnie loses his mind when he spots an employee cleaning a fish bowl during the issuance of a new IPO. To make matters worse, the employee is also wearing a bowtie instead of a long tie.

Donnie approaches him and asks what he is doing, to which the man responds that he just spared a few minutes to clean his fish bowl. An angry Jordan yells at him for doing that during an important day for the company. He takes the live fish from his bowl and eats it before firing him.

7 “I Think You Have A F***n Drug Problem.”

The statement is ironic coming from Donnie, who uses all kinds of drugs himself. However, he has a point, given that he doesn’t get as high as Jordan after taking drugs, or have the same kind of problems.

During a plane ride, Jordan wakes up to find himself tied up next to Donnie. He asks Donnie to untie him but he tells him he can’t since it’s the captain that tied him up. Apparently, Jordan had been high and insulted the captain before he passed out. As a true friend, Donnie lets him know that he has a serious drug problem now.

6 “I’m Going To Hell Jordan!”

Being a boss has its perks and when the FBI starts breathing down their necks, Jordan and Donnie decide to work from a yacht, thousands of miles away from Wall Street. Days later, Jordan gets a call informing him that one of his investors is pulling stocks from the company.

Forced to go and deal with it in person, he instructs the captain to brave a deadly storm and keep it moving. The storm turns out to be strong and everyone thinks they are going to die. Jordan vows to not die sober while Donnie begins recollecting his sins. Luckily, none of them dies.

5 “I Got Five More Just Like You, Bro.”

Donnie is portrayed as a sociable guy who gets along with almost everyone. But there’s one person who doesn’t like him that much. That’s Mike, Jordan’s childhood friend who he hired when he founded Stratton Oakmont.

Mike was a criminal before being hired, so he does all the dirty work for the company. When the feds start looking and Donnie tasks Mike with hiding his money, he refuses, claiming he works for Jordan. Since Jordan is VP, he threatens to fire him, telling he has five more experienced criminals just like him that he can bring in.

4 “I’ll Tell You What, I’m Never Eating At Benihana Again. I Don’t Care Whose Birthday It Is.”

Though not accurate to real life, in the movie, Jordan Belfort is eventually brought down by Rocky Aoki, the CEO and founder of Benihana. The FBI finally finds a serious crime to charge Jordan with when one of his financial managers launders money through an off-shore boat racing company and the Benihana chain of restaurants.

The FBI arrests Rocky Aoki and links him to Jordan. Donnie later visits Jordan to console him about his legal woes. During their conversation, he promises to never eat at Benihana again.

3 “F**k USA!”

Donnie and Jordan set a record for F-bombs in the movie but the best one comes in this particular scene. The Stratton Oakmont bosses begin to feel the heat when the FBI begins an extensive investigation into the company’s affairs. When a subpoena is brought to the office, Donnie does what Donnie does best.

The VP stands on top of a table and pees on it before screaming “F**k USA.” He does that while all the employees are watching. The company is truly one of a kind.

2 “Look, Man… A Lot Of Having A Kid Or Whatever Takes Risk.”

Donnie’s weirdness extends to the fact that he married his distant cousin because he felt that as a relative who had known her for long, he was more capable of treating her better than strangers. Jordan asks him to confirm if the rumors are true and Donnie says that they indeed are.

A concerned Jordan asks him whether this will be problematic, especially when it comes to having children. Donnie argues that everything about children is a risk. You just have to hope for the best.

1 “Me Too!”

When Donnie visits Jordan after the Benihana incident, he bumps into a dog in the compound and says how much he hates it. Jordan adds that the dog has become so old that it’s pooping all over the compound. Trust Donnie to continue the dog conversation in the best way possible.

Donnie tells Jordan that he too is beginning to poop all over the compound. Whether that’s true or not cannot be established from the movie but given Donnie’s personality, it’s not outside the realm of possibility.

About The Author

Philip Etemesi
(1212 Articles Published)

Philip Etemesi is an author, journalist, screenwriter and film critic based in Nairobi. Kenya. As a child, he preferred watching movies like The Goodfellas instead of Home Alone. His girlfriend constantly has to pull him from the front of the TV but he just keeps returning. Stubborn dude! An animal lover, Philip also has a pet giraffe called Refu.

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