Paradise PD: Dusty Marlow’s 10 Best One-Liners, Ranked

Paradise PD, an animated screwball comedy that made its debut on Netflix in 2018, is known for its infamously dark, inappropriate comedy. With season 3 coming soon, everyone is hooked on this adult cartoon and its boisterous humor.

Netflix makes sure there’s something for everyone, and the precinct has an array of loopy, weird characters, but Dusty Marlowe sticks out with his hilarious shenanigans. He is an obese, cat-loving man-child, known for his obscure, odd jokes delivered in random cutaways. His best one-liners from season 1 are ranked below.

10 “Quit Fog horning My Peter, Gina!”

For context, if you aren’t familiar with the characters, Gina works with Dusty at the precinct and is oddly obsessed with him. She is portrayed as a female version of that creepy male colleague, times a thousand.

She tends to get a bit handsy and Dusty says the most obscure things to get her to stop. “Quit fog horning my Peter” has become a fandom favorite.

9 “Yeah, I Moonlight As A Green Screen”

In season 1 episode 2, when officer Fitzgerald is interviewed by CNN, the green screen behind him is actually our favorite morbidly obese man-child in green underwear.

He chimes in after Fitz’s interview, “Yeah, I moonlight as a green screen.” He then goes on to describe how he had Chris Pratt climbing up and down him for two days, while shooting Jurassic World.

8 “It Reminds Me Of My Mama”

“You know whenever a brick crashes through the window, it reminds me of my mama.” Dusty blurts this out when protestors outside the precinct throw bricks through the windows.

He then goes into detail about how his mother would abuse him and throw bricks at his head. Somehow, this tidbit about Dusty’s history was presented as a joke, but it’s a bit disturbing nonetheless!

7 “It’s Just My Mama’s Secret Recipe”

Dusty does it again on season 1 episode 4. He makes fried chicken using his mother’s recipe and it has the chief itching for more. When asked what he put in the dish, he says, “It’s just my mama’s recipe and I used some unbleached flour hidden in the pantry.”

It was heroin, Dusty. Heroin. His dish becomes the talk of Paradise and everyone is (obviously) hooked! The drug lords are impressed by how he’s able to sell so much heroin and Dusty ends up being part of an infamous drug ring.

6 “I’m Officer Dusty & Welcome To Felony Feud”

In Season 1, Episode 5, Dusty hosts a game show for the precinct’s detainees called Felony Feud, in which the felon with the most points by the end of the game wins his freedom.

“We asked felons, ‘What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get out of jail?'” He then calls out the inmate’s answer, which is basically that the inmate will stab Dusty. “Survey says..DING! Ten points for Tuco!” Once again, Dusty is completely over the top with his lines.

5 “Welcome Back To Prisoner Price Is Right”

In season 1, episode 5, Dusty hosts another hilariously dark game show for the precinct’s detainees called Prisoner Price is Right, in which the felon who bids right, wins the item.

“Our next item up for bid is a delicious and nutritious product from the commissary called Cup O’ Noodles.” This is just another example of Dusty’s hilarious wit and sarcasm.

4 “Welcome Back To Shank Tank”

Yet another game show that Dusty hosts for the precinct’s detainees in season 1 episode 5 is called Shank Tank, a play on Shark Tank, in which he funds an inmate’s inventions. This is definitely one of the funniest exchanges with Dusty.

“Welcome, Marvin. Why don’t you tell us about your product?” “This is called a party blanket.” The inmate then explains what exactly a “party blanket” is, which has some very inappropriate uses. Dusty responds, “You are so clever. I’m going to give you one slice of expired bologna for 10 percent of your company.”

3 “Welcome Back To Cell’s Kitchen”

Dusty hosts another twisted game show for the precinct’s detainees called Cell’s Kitchen, a play on Hell’s Kitchen, in which he ranks inmate’s dishes.

“Now before the commercial, I tried Leroy’s toilet wine, and it was highly disgusting. Tuco, however, has prepared a delicious-looking no-bake cupcake that I’m dying to taste.” He eats it and then chokes on broken razor blades. Yikes.

2 “No, I’m a 32 XXXXXXXL”

In season 1 episode 7, senile cop Stanley Hopson thinks he’s a ghost and is quite confused about how Dusty can still see him, leading to the following exchange:

“Well, hey and good day to you, Stanley.”

“You can see me even though I’m a ghost? Wait, are you a medium?”

“No, I’m a 32 XXXXXXXL, but ain’t you the sweetest!”

1 “It Calms My Chakra”

In season 1 episode 4, Dusty starts his fried chicken business that takes the town by storm. People love it because of its one special ingredient: heroin. When Bullet asks him to put an end to the business because the local drug lord is after him, Dusty refuses.

“Dusty, we’ve gotta end this. We’ve made plenty of money. Well, you have. I’m still waiting on my cut.”

“I told you that I’m reinvesting everything back into the business!”

“How does buying Rue McClanahan’s skull reinvesting in the business?”

“It calms my chakra.”

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