Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022: The Main Characters, Ranked By Intelligence

When it comes to horror movie characters, intelligence isn’t often the first word that leaps to mind. In the case of the umpteenth TexasChainsaw Massacre update, most of the main characters come across as even more dimwitted than typical slasher movie victims. However, thanks to a few well-written arcs and standout performances, some of the leads prove to be far smarter than others in the way they deal with Leatherface’s lethal ire.

Whether evading, outwitting, or flat out attacking Leatherface with spirit and cunning, the most intelligent characters in Texas ChainsawMassacre are the ones who make the biggest contribution to stop the maniacal murderer’s reign of Texas terror.

8 Ginny

Of all the main characters, Ginny (Alice Krige) has to be the unwisest. She not only disobeyed the law by squatting inside the condemned orphanage in Harlow, Texas, but somehow decided long ago to look after a geriatric Leatherface, who dwells upstairs with murderous intent.

Upon meeting the young outsiders insistent on gentrifying the ghost town, Ginny gives a half-hearted admonition to keep off the premises due to the long-held curse plaguing the town. Once Leatherface (Mark Burham) spots Melody (Sarah Yarkin)  and Dante (Jacob Latimore), he immediately begins to stalk and slash the rest of the main characters. Ginny has either been complicit all these years or is too oblivious to know what Leatherface has been up to. Either way, she isn’t too bright.

7 Ruth

Why on Earth does Ruth (Nell Hudson) hop inside the ambulance van once Ginny collapses with a heart problem? She has never met the woman before and none of her friends accompany her during the ride. In a nonsensical move meant to sign her own death warrant, Ruth opts to leave her boyfriend Dante behind and ride with random strangers, including Leatherface.

If the decision wasn’t silly enough, Ruth’s poor attempt to lay still and play dead after watching Leatherface slaughter the cops and don Ginny’s face as a mask has to be one of the laziest and most feckless attempts to survive in any recent slasher movie. She does manage to use the radio to warn others, but all it does is catch Leatherface’s attention and cost her life.

6 Herb

As the proprietor of the Texas gas station that the youngsters stop at the beginning of the oft-rebooted horror franchise, Herb (Sam Douglas) comes off as a bit prickly. However, he’s managed to survive Leatherface’s reign of terror for decades, warns the tourists of the impending doom to come, and later makes a key contribution that helps some of them survive.

As a local with connections, the smartest thing Herb does is stay tuned to radio updates. When he hears Ruth’s distress call, he wisely calls up Sally Hardesty, badass Texas Ranger and lone survivor of Leatherface’s original movie onslaught back in 1974.

5 Dante

Upon introduction, Dante is painted as an enterprising young social media influencer who has his pulse on the latest real estate trends.

Unfortunately, Dante isn’t as smart when it comes time to outwit Leatherface. After ridiculously agreeing to return to the orphanage to find the deed, he makes one of those awful horror movie mistake cliches, hearing an odd sound around the corner that he must investigate. Of course, Leatherface leaps out and slashes Dante with a meat cleaver.

4 Melody

At first blush, Melody is a plucky influencer who thinks she knows what’s best for Harlow. She’s smart, ambitious, and leads the charge in terms of the business dealings in town, making key decisions on behalf of her partner Dante to revive the town. However, her gentrification scheme is not only wrongheaded, but Melody makes some dubious decisions in the face of danger that results in one of the most intense deaths in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series.

While Melody was smart enough to discover that Ginny was wrongfully evicted from the orphanage, the discovery cost Dante’s life. Melody is also extremely wise to grab the car keys from Richter’s (Moe Dunford) corpse to mount an escape during one of the scariest scenes in the TexasChainsaw Massacre franchise, but failing to recognize that Leatherface was still alive after attacking him wasn’t so smart. Perhaps she should have actually used the chainsaw on him rather than use it to knock him into the water.

3 Sally Hardesty

As the lone survivor of Leatherface’s initial massacre, Sally Hardesty (Olwen Fouere) has become a Texas Ranger dedicated to hunting the madman down and serving swift justice. Once she gets the call from Herb that the killer is back at it, Sally uses her local resources and years of experience to stop the mayhem at once.

Sally’s survival skills and cunning intelligence allow her to rescue Lila (Elsie Fisher) and Melody from Leatherface when they are trapped in the car. Sally wisely gives Melody the keys to flee and manages to injure Leatherface before he can kill her. However, the most intelligent thing Sally does is encourage Lila not to run from Leatherface (as Melody urges) because it will haunt her forever. Considering her own traumatic past as well as Lila’s school shooting survival, the advice is deeply profound.

2 Richter

Like Matt Damon in Stillwater, Richter is introduced as a bit of a redneck rube that proves to be wildly misjudged. He appears intolerant of outsiders at first, but as a Texas native, he is far more intelligent, wily, and open-minded than he lets on and knows far more about Leatherface than anyone other than Sally. His knowledge proves priceless to others, especially Lila.

Aside from knowing the lay of the land, Richter has a heightened emotional intelligence that allows him to form a bond with Lila. Once learning Lila sustained a bullet wound during a school shooting, he immediately expresses sympathy and tries to help her get over her fear of guns by showing her how to handle a firearm.

1 Lila

Staunchly opposed to the entire Harlow gentrification plan from the get-go, Lila is easily the smartest character in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022. She knows deep down what her sister Melody is up to is wrong, amoral, and will only lead to trouble.

Moreover, Lila is smart enough not to judge Richter by his appearance, which Melody does as soon as she sees him. Lila is not just the only main character to outwit and outlast Leatherface’s newest massacre, but she partly does so by overcoming her fear of guns to wield Sally’s shotgun in defense of herself and Melody. Indeed, the only main character who doesn’t fall into the cliche-ridden trappings of slasher movies, Lila is head and shoulders above the rest.